A Long Short |
Two guys walk into a showroom. One guy has construction helmet on, the other guy has a headpiece on just like Batmans. The helmeted fellow is eating a twinkie and the batman has a 99c bag ...
Posted by Corn on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 10:53:00 PST |
Podcast Transcript Fan Fiction |
Put some juice in a jar. And let it sit. And then drink it. It'll taste like prison wine. Sometimes put some Brewer's Yeast in it. Use real juice. Not the Ocean Spr...
Posted by Corn on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:38:00 PST |
Wrasslin my dog |
I was wrestling my dog last night. I tackled her and she kicked and then asked for her underside to be petted and then rolled to her side after her eyes kept shutting off and on. She...
Posted by Corn on Fri, 17 Mar 2006 09:44:00 PST |
I know what time it is |
I got a new watch that tells time. My friend put a broken one in a lunchbox and shook it up and then opened it and said, "Nope. Chance has still not put the watch back together." I t...
Posted by Corn on Mon, 13 Mar 2006 09:37:00 PST |
Let Me Hold Him |
Can I hold him for a second?
Really? You think I don't know how to hold a kitten? What about a real baby? That is a real baby? No, it's a kitten. Kittens are baby cats.&n...
Posted by Corn on Wed, 16 Nov 2005 01:34:00 PST |
Dan's got a sick |
The foundation that held up my shins is cracking. If not epoxied or spackled I could find myself taking a downward spiral. Please call the supervisor and have him place some masking tape at my b...
Posted by Corn on Mon, 03 Oct 2005 04:03:00 PST |
Put a horse in a cheesecloth next time. |
Misplaced my collapsible felon the other day. He usually does my minor possessions for me and then makes me dinner. The other day I asked if he had any grand larcenies to do that morning because...
Posted by Corn on Thu, 01 Sep 2005 12:55:00 PST |
There's a Heinekin in the Cave that tastes like Diet Coke |
I had a pillowfight with a cougar this morning. I felt him licking my forehead when I woke up next to a mountain next to a highway next to a hangover. The last thing I remembered was saying, "He...
Posted by Corn on Tue, 23 Aug 2005 07:56:00 PST |
Old Lady Made a Fool of Me |
We saw this old lady eating grapes. She ate one at a time. The bunch was in a paper bag. I've never seen a paper bag of grapes. I kept watching her trying not to look obvious.&...
Posted by Corn on Fri, 19 Aug 2005 08:27:00 PST |
Damn Crapped-out Leg |
I pulled a muscle the other day. I squated underneath a desk in order to surprise Destiny on her birthday. Not only did I bang my head, I tipped the cake I was holding, getting icing on he...
Posted by Corn on Mon, 15 Aug 2005 09:33:00 PST |
