Lucinda profile picture

Lucinda

don't give minnie no baked alaska, it gives her the shits.

About Me


I have freakishly small hands and feet in comparison to the rest of my body. I taper like a motherfucker. That's about it.

My Interests

Raining on parades. Wadding panties. Preaching to the choir. Touching soft things. Tasting yummy things. Live music, but not recordings of live music. Being in water. Sleeping in. Anatomical models. Mannequin hands. Caves. Tubing. Tubing through caves.

I'd like to meet:

Absolutely no one who collects faeries, unicorns, or wizard statuettes or has an inclination to rub up on crystals. Same goes for witches who practice magick with a k. I hate utilikilts, regular kilts and bagpipes. Don't get me started on saxophones or white people with dreadlocks. I can't help making a "who farted?" face when anyone mentions renaissance fairs. I hate whores who dry hump strangers on my sofa. You've got your own house, go be a skank there.

Music:

I like cock rock. MC5, Motorhead, The Stooges, Turbonegro, anything with a big, hard swinging one. Also: Roxy Music, Brian Eno, The Dirtbombs, Sparks, The Clash, Public Enemy, The Who, DOA, Joy Division, Black Flag, Isaac Hayes, The Kinks, The Faces/Small Faces, The Move, The Easybeats, Jerry Lee Lewis, Curtis Mayfield, The Smiths, Cheap Trick, Beck, New York Dolls, Johnny Thunders, The Ramones, Bad Brains, The Damned, Beastie Boys, Little Richard...

Movies:

A Face in the Crowd (the most fucking brilliant movie EVER, a must-see, DO IT NOW), Boogie Nights, Blazing Saddles, The African Queen, This is Spinal Tap, The Wizard of Oz, most Coen Brothers, documentaries, Young Frankenstein, The Dancing Outlaw, Grey Gardens, Female Trouble, Pulp Fiction, John's porn collection, The Birdman of Alcatraz, Slacker, The Loved One, Rushmore, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (original, thanks).

Television:

Injun test pattern. The Office. Family Guy. Clean House. Makeover shows. Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

Books:

Reference books. Etymology books. Grammar reference. Biographies. Mary Roach. David Sedaris. Harry Crews. This is pathetic. I need to make time to read more.

Heroes:

Whomever thought it was a good idea to hang this billboard.And Bill.

My Blog

Stupidest thing Ive done (lately).

I rear-ended some poor dude the other day. He was sitting at a light minding his own business when I plowed into him.It's really hard to pay attention to driving when you're explaining the Argentinian...
Posted by Lucinda on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:09:00 PST

New depths of pathos.

It's sad when the cleaning lady at your office feels compelled to tell you that you should be at home, not at work. Of course, she probably was just wanting me out of her hair.
Posted by Lucinda on Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:00:00 PST

Random acts of pissing-me-off!

Someone peeled the Obama sticker off my car yesterday.Come on! Really? Vote for whoever the fuck you want, even a lunatic. It's called "democracy". Sheesh, people.
Posted by Lucinda on Fri, 23 May 2008 01:11:00 PST

Hell, thy name is Valley View Mall

I've not been to Valley View Mall in eight years at least.I went this Saturday to see what this Steve & Barry's place was all about. I'd read stuff about it in my fashion mags (guilty pleasure) and fi...
Posted by Lucinda on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 04:03:00 PST

Keeping the "X" in Xmas

I am reposting this blog from long ago since it's Xmas related, and Xmas always makes me think of my deceased parents.It's sort of Dickensian Lite. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ...
Posted by Lucinda on Mon, 24 Dec 2007 08:54:00 PST

No Country for Old Men (read if you’ve seen it)

OK. So I've been pondering Anton Chigurh for a few days now. Is there any correlation between his riddlin' ways and his Sphinx-like hairdo?
Posted by Lucinda on Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:18:00 PST

More "my way or the highway" bullshit.

Just saw this news story on CNN.com. A buncha Xians are holding prayer sessions on the side of I-35 from here to Minnesota, believing it is mentioned in the bible as a "highway of holiness".They bette...
Posted by Lucinda on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:23:00 PST

Ron Paul at the Ugly Sweater Party 2007

Here are some pix from the Ugly Sweater Party on my flickr page. Go here.
Posted by Lucinda on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:25:00 PST

You better WORK!

Trent's gonna get up his video camera and a backdrop in our back bedroom and shoot all you sunsabitches at the USP. Then he's gonna edit it into a brilliant little movie. He came over yesterday and sh...
Posted by Lucinda on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 10:16:00 PST

Never leave a grown man alone with a cat.

So I'm trying to wind down from a grueling day at the office by going through and deleting people from MySpace and catching up on comments.John, who's already in bed, keeps shouting at me to come look...
Posted by Lucinda on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:38:00 PST