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Add to My Profile | More Videos Est. in 2000 and now working in association with She phoenix fire & light productions we are a not for profit organisation granted by the millenium commission and the european community stet up and designed to alleviate the suffering in households that have autistic individuals to care for. We are designed to alleviate social disability of all forms... Our methods of raising money and playing a robin hood type charater include working with individuals and organisations in the media and entertainment industries, especially those with a connection to fire and light art... Originally based in Scotland we now have an office in Cornwall, some 700+ miles away. As a fledgling Myspace site we clearly have some work to do here but bear with us and as our site grows we hope to reach out to a wide community of people...Wishing you all Peace in your hearts and compassion in your days.. p.s Below is our original history in more detail for those of you who wish to know more...LeoLTHF …An outline history. Wanted to share this with you today guys...Our initial concept goes back to the millennium,. I had been living as a 24-7 sole carer in the highlands of Scotland with my son, and a mountain for a back garden (both stunningly beautiful) for about 8 years. My sons name is Leo, he is autistic and highly dependant. The mountains name was “The Garbheinâ€. Early in 2000 I began sketching out the initial concept for an organisation that I hoped would, through hard work and application, raise my son and I out of the horrible poverty trap we found ourselves in, living on disability and carer benefits and offering us a future that was less grey, as, despite having exceptional school and self sought qualifications/skills, I had become trapped in the role of an isolated carer/mum with no room for self pride, living almost as a prisoner with my son in a cold, wet and mouldy unheated home caring for a person who’s needs were rapidly outgrowing my already exhausted body, emotions and abilities to cope. I knew eventually that I would crash and dreaded the consequences for my son and I but the services I repeatedly asked for help from were just not responsive or available. Never a woman to give up and still desperately wanting to elevate us above the toil of day to day life simply present due to a disability and at the same time wished to help to prevent the same scenario happening all over the country as it was then and sadly still is to this day… This driving desire to create opportunities to build better futures for people was a constant motivation and by 2003 I was ready to begin, I had attained some degree level psychology qualifications and appropriate business training whilst remaining throughout Leos’ 24~7 carer. I already possessed experience in the dance and entertainment worlds and further, had experienced great success in sales and marketing before I’d had Leo so, I worked towards and attained two government social/community and business grants and a personal social change millennium award to officially set up a small voluntary group I called LTHf, and later its sister company, She phoenix fire & light productions, now itself ready to take off as an independent, self contained business, supporting Make poverty history and designed to donate significant amounts of its profits to LTHf whilst at the same time operating in a not for profit manner as a Limited company. It was my intent and hope that LTHf would benefit financially as if She phoenix fire & light productions were in part, almost a fundraising arm to LTHf as well as an opportunity in its own right. I hoped and planned for She phoenix fire & light productions to develop the ability to provide opportunities and later employment for others, both with and without social or emotional difficulties, in a sense doing with our form of self determined, commitment demanding form of dance what Jamie Oliver did with food at project 15, inspiring and nurturing downtrodden potential talents with tough but just training in return for, a life changing set of chances and self made opportunities.One of LTHfs’ main initial aims was to design and maintain an extensive, unbiased, information database and to develop innovative methods that help both to inform, and help prevent suffering in carers, the socially disabled or impaired or those individuals inappropriately judged by society as a whole, including it’s care providers such as social services, as I was as a recipient of benefits, with a weird child who dressed a little odd and lived like a hermit! After all “she must have bought it on herself†Things were going very well, our core idea was at the time quite new yet still well received. We were about a year in, we were steadily advancing, and with the recruitment of the willing help of a few friends we were ready to begin our application for our first premises and projects, however, I simply had no idea how ill and close to collapse I’d become after approaching 12 years of being worn thinner and thinner by my own sons’ social and emotional disability, until, due to the longevity and severity of dependency in his needs, I finally found I had nothing left to give except the desire or will to keep going until eventually, one morning I simply collapsed, from physical, emotional and psychological exhaustion, a very odd experience, and for a year or so, my world went black… I now understand this is a common problem in carers who despite their unimaginable daily burdens tend to put their own needs last on a never completed list of essential caring chores.It was at this terrible time that despite my years of steadfast determination and desperate wish as a mum, plus Leos’ tender need to stay at home, I had to consent to place Leo in emergency care services, the ones that had for years, (despite our pleas) ignored us, however my body and ability even to write a coherent shopping list by that time were completely gone. Even to move a limb was literally like trying to climb a mountain and when anyone spoke to me all I could work out is that I was supposed to respond in some way, but had no idea how or the strength to do so.It remains to this day a great burden of shame I carry for not being able to cope with and for my son, for as long as he needed me to, but then I never have understood the meaning of giving up and had been told since he was three or so that no one person could manage him on their own for more than a few days at a time. I chose not to listen and it took much longer than a few days to wear me thin but eventually, perhaps inevitably it had. My life had changed dramatically overnight and my foundations, had been rocked but when I emerged from a long self driven recovery, I found I still possessed the passion to create positive change for self and importantly for sharing, only now, bolstered by another exceptionally hard knock. I re-examined the skills I used to have before I began caring for my son; music and dance, marketing & sales, the media industry, social & special needs etc. all dusty but not forgotten and put them together to create She phoenix fire & light productions in association with LTHf.It was 2004 by now, and as soon as I was able and gaining more strength, I embarked on developing a shared care plan for my son, and over time was able to begin picking up the pieces of my own new life and of LTHf again, re creating the credibility we had begun to accrue in those early months. As its originator and driving force, LTHf was motionless during my difficulties, frozen amid its early data base development stages, letting down both those supportive of the LTHf project and those waiting on its help. I just couldn’t see that happen, I was so desperate to get Leo and I back together and to stop others going through the shades of unseen hell we had been through and still had to face, within our long climb back to recovery. As a fledgling business idea and name, LTHf were clearly at risk of loosing credibility and completely failing without being able to focus on generating further funds, grants etc. to facilitate further growth. I felt funders (needlessly as it turned out) were going to be suspicious or reluctant to be forthcoming after my untimely ‘disappearance’ left so many things up in the air, so refusing to give up and with for the first time in 12 years, a little time to myself too, I set out to develop a way to create an additional, new, reliable and sustainable flow of funds to LTHf, as well as potentially, in time, aiming once again to provide an opportunity of self employment, only this time, developing a large enough income to draw a wage that I may then use to bring Leo home on a full time basis again, only this time using the support of privately paid, homecare services to prevent the cycle of need and exhaustion recurring. This is a goal that is so near to fruition I barely have the words…She phoenix fire & light productions stands ready to provide both for myself and many, many others, a hope for the future that would otherwise not be available. Its taken three further years, bringing us up to the present day and culminating in finding your premises and potential finance at the perfect moments. Incidentally, Leo, now almost 16, was only 12 years old when he was forced to leave home, but perhaps more heartbreaking was the fact that as with many people with special needs, he was emotionally developed to perhaps only three or four at the time, and had no understanding of why his mummy didn’t want him any more! Still in many ways Leo remains a loving but broken little boy from the experience of my collapse and not having me with him all the time. He has not settled well in care facilities, he’s been moved time and time again, he’s been assaulted and is unable to trust anyone. He’s changed from the boy who was always smiling to one who has a glint of sadness and fear permanently in his eye and seems only just to be ‘hanging in there’ so to speak, so bringing him home again is a cherished aim for us both, however, it has to be realistic and workable as a failed attempt would be as I’m sure you can imagine devastating and disastrous. As things stand now, it is possible to see that we are likely to be in a position to develop She phoenix fire & light productions in such a way that aside from all the wonderful business considerations and assistance it will offer to many individuals, through employment, training and so on, there is also the realistic potential finally developing that Leo may well be able to come home in a supported manner in as little as another year if we continue to move She phoenix fire & light productions forward in the steady way we have over the past three years. As you’ll imagine this is therefore a terribly exciting but tentative time for us all both in business and personal terms. It’s important to stress that Leo and I had are by no means the only ones to have found themselves in, or to have been put in such terrible positions, not necessarily of their own making in life, and then, as now I found this unacceptable. I also find now having undergone a period of adjustment that my spirit to champion the underdog has only been strengthened by recent trials. I make no apology and have no sense of shame in sharing the above story with people, and neither do I seek any sympathy or special considerations. Leos’ story merely demonstrates the reason our project was created, and the determination and desire to succeed that I feel people need to see we have to do so. The above is not uncommon but seldom would a non carer know such atrocious things can still happen in our society of social services and benefits. They say that one measure of our society is how we treat our weakest individuals. Having lived through with Leo what we have, and seen so many other fall too, I’d say that’s a fairly revealing and damning yard stick for our society.People have to know that there are these things going on around them every day and that the people they happen to are not necessarily unreliably behaved, beer swilling drug using bad parents either! Often ironically its drugs and alcohol that people under such stresses as lone caring turn to as a result of their over heavy unsupported and misunderstood burdens, leading to the mistaken perception that it’s their own doing (a further salt in the wound) and so social separation is concreted with judgement of those on the outside of the situation looking in and the whole sorry cycle continues.Through LTHf and She phoenix fire & light productions I wish to make the horrors Leo faced and must still endure count. I wish to make a positive change in his, mine and others lives…to bring a degree of awareness that such stories do happen and they could happen to ANYONE when least expected.