susie mac profile picture

susie mac

I got your headline right here, bub.

About Me

I used to be impossible - but I did a lot of work on myself and now I'm possible.

My Interests

Fancy oaths, creative curses, insightful insults, non-ethnic slurs, sexually ambiguous slangs, meaningless metaphors and related matters.

I'd like to meet:

People who don't ruin cocktail parties with their vegan philosophies. I was recently chastised for enjoying caviar - I felt like I had a mouthful of little fur coats.

Music:

I liked music before you liked music, I was the very first person who liked music. You all ruined music by liking it too. Alphabetically, who you will ruin next: Art Blakey, Al Green, Big Joe Turner, Booker T, Charlie Parker...

Movies:

A Face In The Crowd, All About Eve, The Hustler, Cool Hand Luke, Catch 22, A Place In The Sun, The Americanization of Emily, I Love You Alice B. Toklas, Bananas, Annie Hall, Stardust Memories, Lolita, Marnie, High Anxiety, History of the World, Part 1, The Jerk, What's Up Doc, The Last Seduction, Being John Malkovich, Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, The Man With Two Brains, Duck Soup, A Day at the Races, A Night at the Opera ... and of course, Showgirls.

Television:

Histories Mysteries, I'm Alan Partridge, This is Alan Partridge, Kids in the Hall, Ab Fab, Soap, Barney Miller, Bugs Bunny, My Name is Earl (for personal reasons), Police Woman (for very personal reasons)...

Books:

Dostoyevsky, Nabokov, Turgenev, Carver, Hammett, Vonnegut, Parker, Thompson, Updike and Fante

Heroes:

The Marx Bros, Mel Brooks, Frank Capra, Jennifer Saunders, Susan Harris, Carol Burnett

My Blog

some of my finest work.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=QVtNjUxYFwI&feature=related
Posted by susie mac on Sun, 20 Jul 2008 07:52:00 PST

Saturday, April 5th

I’ll be performing at: AURA NIGHTCLUBSATURDAY NIGHTSHOW TIME 7:30PM SHARP!PLEASE GET THERE EARLY. Tickets for the show are available at the door and are $10 per person.There’s no drink min...
Posted by susie mac on Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:27:00 PST

Monday, Feb 4th

Why not come out and see me do the stand up?Comedy StoreBelly Room8 P.M$5 bucks - cheap!P.S. I really need one of those professional myspace comedy banners and calendar of event thing-ies so people wi...
Posted by susie mac on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:42:00 PST

Monday - January 21st...

Why not come see me do the stand-up? Hosted by: Jodi MillerComedy Store-Belly Room- 8 P.M.8433 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles CA 90069 (323) [email protected] Buy Tickets Online$5 bucks - cheap...
Posted by susie mac on Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:10:00 PST

Monday, December 10th

Why not come out and see me do stand-up?Hosted by: Jodi MillerComedy Store-Belly Room- 8433 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles CA 90069 (323) [email protected] Buy Tickets Online$5 bucks - cheap!...
Posted by susie mac on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 07:01:00 PST

Monday, December 10th

Why not come out and see me do stand-up?Hosted by: Jodi MillerComedy Store-Belly Room- 8433 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles CA 90069 (323) [email protected] Buy Tickets Online$5 bucks - cheap!...
Posted by susie mac on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 07:01:00 PST

walking sammy

I meet the most interesting people walking my new dog, Sammy. Transcipt of a conversation I had today with a nice, southern, homeless man.Homeless man: That looks just like my old dog!(looks like he m...
Posted by susie mac on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:43:00 PST

Happy Mother's Day!

A fun thing I like to do on Mother's Day is run up and down the supermarket aisles screaming, "Mommy?!" at the top of my little lungs and tugging on women's coats. Then, when they turn around I burst ...
Posted by susie mac on Sun, 13 May 2007 12:53:00 PST

Hate mail, part une

Dear Iguana Guy Who Hangs out in Silverlake cafes hoping women will talk to him because he has an iguana. Women don't like you. You may confuse fear and repulsion with love and attention but that's be...
Posted by susie mac on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 11:38:00 PST

Things I learned from watching "Who Wants to be the next Pussycat Doll" or whatever it's called

- Apparently, there's a group called "The Pussycat Dolls." - If you want to be a Pussycat Doll you have to be unique. (States 9 dolls in hot shorts, tights and stiletos.)- Any news of anything require...
Posted by susie mac on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 10:51:00 PST