Now I prefer to keep my hair a little browner and thinner. Long hair makes me feel like a chick.
Kirsty hates me. Even fat...that chick is hot, I say. Too bad nobody watched the show.
This is me before I did some special forces work. Keeping America safe. You're welcome.
The LEAD SINGER of Creed so I could throw him in a flying head lock. Angelinas LITTLE MOHAWK BABY because I have a sneaky suspicion the kid isn't real. I think if you twist his head it would come off and he's really just a high tech jelly bean holder.
I'd like to meet MYSELF 10 years ago so I could sock me in the gut and while I was recuperating I would tell me to stop walking around like I'm 6 foot 4 and 240 lbs cause in reality I look like a skinny accountant with a sunken chest and short legs. I hate cocky people. Me included.
Finally, the number one person I'd like to meet is CAMERON DIAZ in a hostage situation where we'd be hiding in some cozy room waiting for the SWAT team to show up. I'd tell her to relax cause I was trained for this kind of thing. she's ask me what I meant. I would then say, well I did some special forces work in Iraq but now that I'm back from the war I work for children. She'd say my God that's so brave! But you're also so sensitive. yeah, I'd say well hurting people is easy it's healing and saving that's hard. suddenly she'd coo and fall into me hungry to drink from my wine red mouth. I would push her away after about 10 seconds and tell her to sit tight cause I got work to do. At which point I'd pull out my Berritta 380 and POP all three hostages faster than she could flinch from the explosing my bullets made. Then through a cloud of smoke I'd come back into the room and say, "now where were we?"
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