Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace]

About Me

I am a Mom, and put a lot of that in my routine, but it is not always family friendly. Not quite blue, I sometimes think of it as a "watered down aqua-marine"..............I am a woman, but don't sit around doing "men are dumb" jokes. From what I have read, it is so 80's/90s (most of which I can't remember...'cuz I am most likely younger than you AND LOVING EVERY SECOND!!!).............I am thinking of posting my jokes and love feedback, but please be creative, and don't hack my stuff and I won't hack yours. That is, unless you pay me to give you my jokes. Well, that isn't hacking at all, is it?...............I am hispanic, but that is just one of the bits I do. Um, I guess we are just like everybody else, except we are the only ones that can go into a club with a wifebeater and look nice..............I am pretty nice, just don't be a dumb-ass when you call me mistakenly, I will eat you alive. I actually live for people calling me and saying, "Susan?" I'll say yes, and Susan ain't who you thought she was...she likes HOT hermaphrodite vertically challenged on hermaphrodite vertically challenged action (who doesn't?)..............VERY importantly, I am not interested in perverts and freaks who want me to make money from home while having a threesome with their dog.... I prefer cats. I will not add you, so don't even think about it...Unless you are a spammer who performs naked vaudeville while watching "Stripes". Then we are in business!.............
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My Interests

As much crap as I talk about it, my family and the activities they are involved in interest me greatly. I love bumming around and having fun....oh yea, and booze.

I'd like to meet:

Jesus--not 'cuz I'm a Jesus freak , just to see if he has as much of a sense of humor as I think he does. VINCE VAUGHN (I woulda put you first, but I don't think our lord would have liked that very much would he?) Michael Ian Black, Jon Lovitz, Hal Sparks, Steve Martin, Johnny Depp and Paris Hilton. I just want to be near someone who radiates true ignorance and lack of ability like good ol' Pahree. Lots of other people I am too tired to mention, but you're out there. *Update* Steve Carrell, Lewis Black, Will Farrel, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Charile (Chahlay) Murphay and all the celebs that I have added as friends, just to ask which of the profiles is really theirs, and to be the name-dropping whore I so desire to be... Oh and most of all--you!

Music:

LOVE IT ALL(most)! Especially LOVE Rocka-psychobilly, Metal, Punk, etc...

Movies:

40 year-old virgin, stripes, blades of glory, Idiocracy (OMG---LOVE IT)All movies. Love 'em. Good ones, bad ones, ugly ones...I wanna see 'em all (except for the sappy shit). If my estrogen level go up during a flick, then its not for me.

Books:

I read them....no really, I do. I read lots...why don't you believe me? Mostly science nerd magazines is my game. Discover, Scientific American oh and Cookie. Its a "Moms with waaaay too much $" mag. I read it 'cuz I want to feel like a Mom who cares about a $2,000 stroller.

Heroes:

ME...and Um...well, I am sure that are others....OH YEA, MY SISTERS! They RAWK!

My Blog

Scam Artist Employers

Boy, some people are slick. Or think they are. Hopefully, if you have half a brain you can stay away. If you don't, well, I am sorry to hear that you think this is going to be a grea...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 06:44:00 PST

Got a "real" job!!!!

Not that raising my kids wasn't hard work, I now have been offered a "real" job! It's a promotion from the part-time childcare position I have been holding at my church--I KNOW, they let me work...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Tue, 29 May 2007 02:24:00 PST

Asswipes and boogers

Asswipes and BoogersI have known thee since 15 When I had my first youngling You would think I would be used to youI am notMy, my, how much shit I have washed off my handsMy. my, how much milk I have ...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Fri, 18 May 2007 08:03:00 PST

Hippie Nazi's

So....I try to do a good thing and help the planet a little by contributing to freecycle, and an offshoot freesource, and post things I need, or want to give away. If you don't know what it is, ...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Wed, 16 May 2007 01:08:00 PST

Zebra meat and Camel Toe

Meat. 'nuff said. Love it practically raw, and dripping with its juicy goodness. "European Style" as I like to call it. I tried to buy reindeer meat for Christmas, but MIL...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Mon, 14 May 2007 03:12:00 PST

Such a hippie, but at least I showered!

This is part of my "trying to make a difference series". **update--read my "hippie nazi" blog, and you will see why I am scrapping this series.***It isn't as juicy as the pros/cons of SG boobage...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 07:01:00 PST

VT jokes--Is it right?

Is it right to joke about something like the VT shootings so soon? I have seen a few comics do this in the past few days, and my hubby and I kind of debated on it. He thinks all jokes are inappr...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:20:00 PST

Tonights performance @ pressure...

Pressure is a really nice place! Like the atmosphere, definitly. Too damn far to drive, but gonna hafta. Well, tonight wasn't as stellar as my two previous attempts, but you kn...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 11:25:00 PST

MY TAKE on Suicide Girls...

I have known about SG FOR YEARS, and am reading about this whole boycotte SG thing. Yea, I know, I am a late responder to news. So far, the one model I have met via email (the famous ...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 10:48:00 PST

Tonight was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I did really great tonight, and thank all you awesome muthafuckers for showing up! I just can't get over the fact that other people find shit funny that I find funny. Its so cool t...
Posted by Mary Torrecilla [The Official Myspace] on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:54:00 PST