Comedian Jay Griffin

I'd like to meet:

~~Dr. Albert Hofman so I can thank him personally for his very important discovery he made back on 4/19/1943. Also, so we can have a lengthy discussion about a few things.

~~A billionaire who wants to make me his very own "Court Jester" and will pay me a kingly sum to do so.

~~A well-to-do woman who would like to make me her "kept man".

~~A newspaper editor or publisher who is not afraid to take a chance and give me my own weekly humor column in their newspaper so I can be Dave Barry's replacement.

~~The inventor of "Pop Rocks" so I can personally thank him or her for all the fun I've had with those while getting and giving oral sex.

~~Dane Cook so I can tell him to his face that he's NOT FUCKING FUNNY AT ALL!!!

~~Someone who can beat this damn game!

~~Oh, and YOU, of course!!!

Who's Your Number One? Will begin filming sometime in the very near future and let me tell you--it's gonna be one wild ride! This reality show will set the bar for others to follow and break serious ground. Jay, Voodoo, Colleen, Mike, Marla, Shad, Heather, Sean and your host, Stevie C. are excited and making preparations for one of the most insane continental tours ever embarked upon. Just wait until you see what WYNO? has in store for this eclectic group. We'll start in Vegas where we'll all meet for the first time in person and film the pilot episode for the series. Let the games being!

Please stay tuned for updated blogs concerning our itinerary and plans so you can meet with us and join the party while having a chance to be filmed for the show!

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I am the political correspondent for SIN Magazine Online in which I have a column called "POLITICAL POISON: The Rants and Ravings of a Political Junkie". Please check it out by clicking on the banner below. While you're there, please check out the other excellent writers of SIN Magazine Online.

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This moon belongs exclusively to Voodoo and me. It's ours and no one else can have it, but we will let you look at it. Isn't that damn nice of us?

Music:

I like the singer-songwriters mostly, like: Neil Young, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Todd Snider, and John Prine because I feel those folks have a lot of interesting and insightful things to say in their songs. As far as bands go, some of my favorites include, but are not limited to: Alice in Chains, Primus, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Early Yes, Black Sabbath, Rush, The Meat Puppets, Megadeth, Pantera, White Zombie, 3 Doors Down, System of a Down, ....hell, the list could go on and on

Movies:

Sling Blade, Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon, and the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre with R. Lee Ermey and Jessica Biel in it.

I have literally seen this movie over 100 times....I am also an avid fan of Asian midget pornos with a BDSM theme.

Television:

South Park, King of Queens, Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, Out of Practice, and I really hated it when Seinfeld did their last episode, but very thankful it is still in syndication.

PLEASE FOLKS, DON'T CLICK ON THIS!!!

Books:

Closet Cloning: The Guerrilla Grower's Guide by J (yeah, I wrote that one!), The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, anything by Andy Rooney, anything by Dave Barry, anything by Hunter S. Thompson, anything by Mark Twain, anything by Tom Robbins, anything by William S. Burroughs, and almost anything by Stephen King or Dean Koontz.

Heroes:

Hunter S. Thompson is one of my literary heroes. He was never afraid of speaking his mind and telling the complete truth, even in his fiction. I was lucky enough to have met this crazy bastard once in Louisville back in '96. I haven't been the same since.
Jim Rose of the Jim Rose Circus is one of my heroes. I never could get him to admit if David Bowie was fondling his "beans" or not in this pic. (Well, you CAN'T see David's right hand, and Jim HAS got a rather odd expression on his face.)
Sister Mary Warner is my favorite nun. Here she is shown taking Holy Communion at Our Lady of the Perpetual Buzz Catholic Church.
Our entire family was extremely proud of cousin Dennis when he FINALLY learned to cook for himself. He burned down two trailers in which he was living before he finally learned. He is in rehab now. (Personally, I think he is just a fucking quitter.)
My cousin Rod who is a stunt cock for the porno industry has always been one of my heroes. I just love it when he tells me stories of his experiences on the set.
Michael Schumacher is the finest driver that ever lived, and Ferrari is the best team in Formula One Grand Prix Racing. His has marked the end of an era in Formula One Grand Prix Racing. There will NEVER be another driver who will achieve what Michael has in his career!
Maynard Ferguson was, in my humble opinion, the greatest jazz trumpet player who ever lived. He inspired me with his extreme power and tone in the upper register and provided me with an example to emulate.
Here he is with his band playing the very same arrangement of "Chameleon" that we played in my high school band in which I played the lead trumpet part.
Here is Maynard and his band playing the very same arrangement of "Gospel John" that we played in my high school band in which I played the lead trumpet.
This is the man who inspired me to learn to play the guitar. Back in 1982, I locked myself in a room for three days with Harvest, After The Goldrush, and Live Rust. After those three days, I could play every song on those albums. (I already had prior keyboard and brass experience, so I had already developed my musical ear.) I STILL form my chords in ways that amuse and amaze my friends.
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