Schwartz - ProfilesArchive

About Me

NEWS: The Schwartz Band Show Dates: April 19 at PICK A CUP in Evanston, IL (Free Show - 8pm) - June 7 at THE BUZZ CAFE in Oak Park, IL (Free Show - 6pm)
Writer - Actor - Comedian - Musician - Poet - Director - Producer -Creator - Godhead - Braggart - Megalomaniac - Over Achiever - Disappointment
I am a writer/performer/musician with a day job (and have been for the last 20 + years). I am a member of and director of Gag ReflexComedy Theater (http://www.gagreflexonline.com) and I am the Executive Director of the First Street Playhouse (recently of Batavia). I am in the process of transitioning from being a cubicle jockey full-time to being a freelance writer full time (with some part-time work thrown in to seal up some gaps). We’ll see how that works out.
I am also breaking in my new band, THE SCHWARTZ BAND, this spring. You will see show dates above.
Most importantly, I am a husband and father. My wife Millie and I live with our son, Danny and two cats - Buster & Venom. We live in a little green house on a little green street in Dekalb, IL.
Check out a ton of my stuff below and on the left - articles, flash fiction, poetry, two webseries (The Farm and Big City), videos and lots of music. Plenty of stuff to make you sick of me.
If anybody is REALLY interested, you can find my resume online here: RESUME
smooches!
**** Also Visit ****
STUFF TO LISTEN TO!
Listen to the first 7 Episodes of "Gag Reflex Comedy Theater of the Air" (30 min. each)
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My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 5/21/2006
Band Website: bwatersmedia.com
Band Members:
SCHWARTZ LINKS

General Info
Resume
Boundary Waters Media (homepage)
Facebook Profile
LinkedIn Profile (Day Job Networking)
Cracked Profile
Soundclick Profile

Other Sites I Contribute Writing To
Helium.com
The Frown
ThisIsBy.us
FictionPress
EditRed.com

Stuff I've Been (or am) Part Of
Gag Reflex (comedy)
Lord & Schwartz (comedy/music)
Barry Newton & The Plagues (music)
Strange's (comedy)

Influences:
My boy... Now that he's out, lazy sumbitch best getta job!!

In no particular order:Shelley Berman, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Joss Whedon, Russell T. Davies, JJ Abrams, Damon Lindelof, David Fury, Mark Leyner, Tom Russell, The Zookeepers, Ralph Covert, Truman Capote, Kurt Vonnegut, Hampton Fancher, Mark Twain, Bryan Adams, Jim Henson, Monty Python, Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Rowan Atkinson, Yukio Mishima, Dale Roe, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas (pre- Howard The Duck), Steve Gerber, Fish, The Indigo Girls, Paul Simon, The Onion, David Mamet, Thelonius Monk, Spongebob Squarepants, Kids in the Hall, Jack Kirby, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks, Marillion, Stan Lee, John Denver, Alton Brown, Robert Holmes, Patti Wampach, William Goldman, The Beastie Boys, Rudy Ray Moore, George Carlin, Stan Freeberg, Best Brains, Bill Cosby, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, Gary Larson, Vincent Van Gogh, Gene Simmons, Walt Whitman, William Shatner, Marc Platt, Chris Carter, Miles Davis, Ken Nordine, Charles Bukowski, ... I'm sure I'm forgetting some. When I think of more, I'll post them.

Check out my interview in Shelly Ryan's "Late Night" Podcast

Check out my story "Marjorie Aplomb" in Crawlspace 004

Download Whole 30 Min. Episodes of Gag Reflex TV for Free

Download Full 30 Min. Episodes of Gag Reflex's Radio Show for Free

Buy Gag Reflex Albums

Sounds Like: THE WALL OF ERIC SCHWARTZES

Eric Schwartz
Folkster/Jokester from the East Coast. Wrote "Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis". His latest CD, "Redder Than Ever", is out now.

Eric Schwartz
aka Smooth-E. West Coast comedian/ rapper. Check out "Mel Gibson" and "Just a Little Kip".

Eric Schwartz
Brooklyn based experimental composer. His debut CD "24 Ways of Looking at a Piano" was recently named one of the top classical CDs of 2005 by All Music Guide.

If you, or someone you know, has an Eric Schwartz, please send me a link to their page. Thank you.

Record Label: Crapping Badger Records
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Dallas Day 1 (Part 1): Offline and On the Rails

I've kept a travel journal of my last few trips (San Diego and Miami) and I've done them both the same way; I condense my thoughts the follwing day into a blog. So as I headed out to Dallas for the co...
Posted by Schwartz on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:19:00 PST

Schwartz Band Set List from Last Night

Here is what TSB played at our gig last night. There was a little last minute droppage because we were running a little long. Most all of these were the first time I'd every played them on stage, exce...
Posted by Schwartz on Sun, 20 Apr 2008 08:20:00 PST

Eric Does Dallas (and other goings-on)

Does everybody that goes to Dallas say that? I think it's probably the only porn joke that's acceptable in religious circles. It certainly has kept the legend of the film alive. And believe it or not,...
Posted by Schwartz on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 08:06:00 PST

The Only Bohemian I Knew

I used to have a bottle of Malibu rum that I used as a candle holder. Five different colors of wax were frozen on sides of white bottle. It’s the kind of thing that somebody 23 does, just becaus...
Posted by Schwartz on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:04:00 PST

A Sunday Morning Survey

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Whowould you blow up?--Well, let’s pull out the ol’ wheel of Child Molesters, Child Pornographers and Child Abusers and giv...
Posted by Schwartz on Sun, 16 Mar 2008 08:39:00 PST

So... what the hell are you doing, Eric?

A fine, fine question. I’m drinking at the moment. A nice glass of absinthe next to me is sending me into a little droopy-eyed head-bobble as I type. I have been writing my ass off, to be blunt....
Posted by Schwartz on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 11:11:00 PST

Check out this event: The Schwartz Band Live @ The Buzz Cafe

Hosted By: Schwartz When: Saturday Jun 07, 2008 at 6:00 PMWhere: The Buzz Cafe905 S. Lombard AveOak Park, IL 60304United StatesDescription:Schwartz Click Here To View Event...
Posted by Schwartz on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 01:25:00 PST

Check out this event: Schwartz Live at Pick-a-Cup

Hosted By: Schwartz When: Saturday Apr 19, 2008 at 8:00 PMWhere: Pick a Cup1813 Dempster St.Evanston, Illinois|14 60201United StatesDescription:Schwartz Click Here To View Event...
Posted by Schwartz on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:10:00 PST

Ready from Day One

Um... what major foreign policy work did Hillary do? Remind me again why being married to The President makes you more qualified to make military decisions than Barak Obama or John McCain. Seriou...
Posted by Schwartz on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:31:00 PST

Drunk on Champagne Survey

1. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?--Jenna Elfman - I don't know why. She just came to mind. And I think she would be fascinating to talk to. And I think we'd get along okay - which is g...
Posted by Schwartz on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 05:26:00 PST