THE BUDDHA

Hi, whats happening? Im Buddha, The Awakened One, and I like to help others through the path to enlightenment so they can reach Nirvana, its nice, real nice. I like sloppy joes, they're some miraculously delicious things. Im a straight up genuine deity for reals who can take many forms and exist at all times contemporaneously, y hurrrd? I got down as a human for a while and that was a formidable experience. As the Bodhisattva I was invited by Brahma and Four Celestial Guardian Kings to be born in the world from Dusit Tushita Heaven. My mom, Sirimahamaya, dreamt that a white elephant descended from the silver and golden mountains and brought her a lotus. It sucks though cause my mom died seven days after my birth, I started to hate life and death right from the beginning. As you might have heard, when the time drew nigh for me to enter the world, the gods prepared the way before me with celestial portents and signs, cause thats how I like to roll. Flowers bloomed and gentle rains fell, although out of season; heavenly music was heard, delicious scents filled the air, you know, real gangsta. It was a long time ago, I dont recollect every detail, but I think I was born like around 563 BC at a grove known as Lumbini, near the city of Kapilavastu, at the foot of Mount Palpa in the Himalayan ranges within Nepal. Kapilavastu was a small city that stood on the bank of the little river Rohini, some hundred miles northeast of the city of Varnasi, and if you dont know now you know. People came to visit me and my parents were proud as hell. My body bore the thirty-two auspicious marks, Mahavyanjana, besides secondary marks, Anuvyanjana, in large numbers, which indicated my future greatness, and fools were tripping. I was brought up by Mahaprajapati, my moms sister who pretty much became my foster-mother, she was awesome. My dad was King Suddhodanama, of the Sakhyans, when he died I cremated him myself. I have a younger brother named Nanda, hes cool. Anyway, I was a big baller, shot caller, I was blinging like it aint no thang, iced up, but I got tired of all that cash and even though I was a prince, after seeing the four signs that changed my mind, I renounced the material world. I ditched my woman and my son, Rahula, who I love a lot but I recognize they need to find the wisdom in their own selves as individuals. I finally entered Awareness at the Sal grove in Kusinara City after much spiritual struggle and almost dying. (Wow, are you still reading this?) After that, I traveled around with my diciples, I thought about The Way all my life, and now Im up here in Nirvana and I dont feel like I want to re-incarnate anytime soon, you know what I'm saying? Read the blog, check out the pics, leave a comment. Hit me up and well chat, whatever.