Comedian Chelcie Rice - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Just an average guy working to make a living as a comedian. Yeah i'm in my early 40's...but what else am I going to do? That porn star thing was a great idea in '87 but... Comedy is the only thing I've found that I enjoy. All those other jobs I've had in the past just never mattered to me. I hated them all. With comedy I'm free and I don't necessarily have to deal with anyone's BS. As you can tell I don't follow the path too well. I'm also a type 1 diabetic on insulin pump therapy. I've been diabetic for over 16 years now and I'm getting better day by day. If anyone out there thinks this disease is easy you're seriously mistaken. And if you know someone who is diabetic, do them and yourself a favor and educate yourself. They may need your assistance one day. Even if it's just a ride to the doctor.

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My Interests

Music and comedy

I'd like to meet:

Definately want to meet more comedians and people who appreciate the ART! Damn straight it's an art. And no it's not an art just because most people can't do it...well...nevermind. Anyway...I'm looking to meet some new people and make some friends. Hopefully you'll get a chance to come see me perform. ..

Music:

jazz, jazz,jazz, house, latin jazz, Ol school r&b, ol school hip hop, rock , classical

Movies:

It's a mad,mad,mad,mad world Spike Lee movies Watermelon Man Bruce Lee movies Bullitt

Television:

Seinfeld, Arrested Development, The Simpsons, Nip/Tuck, The Sheild, WWE Raw, Boomerang/cartoon Network

Books:

On the real side by Mel Watkins, The Comedy Bible, How to be a working comic, anything by James Baldwin, This Life by Sidney Poitier

Heroes:

Ali, Richard Pryor, Flip Wilson, Godfrey Cambridge, Melvin Van Peebles, Malcolm X, Steve Mcqueen, Sidney Poitier, George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Bill Cosby,Ossie Davis, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Chris Rock, Franklyn Ajaye, Art Blakey, Nina Simone, Betty Carter, Aretha Franklin, Moms Mabley, Nipsey Russell, Phil Silvers, Sid Ceasar, Pigmeat Markum, Skillet and Leroy, Redd Foxx, Slappy White, George Kirby, Max Roach...to be continued

My Blog

A note to FOX Network

So I'm sitting here watching the American Idol finale because there has to be nothing else on for me to watch this garbage. I have never seen such a collection on untalented, no rhythm having, l...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Thu, 22 May 2008 05:55:00 PST

Just me lending a helpful hand

Well the holidays are now over and everybody has their nice new techie gifts and all of a sudden&THE SHIT BREAKS!! What to do? Ok&I unfortunately do phone support for an extended warranty ...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 08:17:00 PST

Beating a dead horse? Maybe...

I work at a comedy club and I listen to a lot of road comics. What I'm still hearing from some of them is that premise of "the n-word". "Why can't we say it?" "When it's used a certa...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 07:14:00 PST

Jerry Lewis usues the word "fag". Geez....

Ok so the master uses the word fag. Big fuggin' deal. Anyone who cant let this slide has no clue as to who Jerry Lewis is and where he comes from as a comic.This man is truly old school an...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:31:00 PST

I had to do it! Sue me!!

Theres a bishop on th loose..running like a scalded goose.Got th' folks in A-T-L...'Bout to go and grab a noose.Rumor says that he is gay..Then he lead his church astray...Bishop Thomas Weeks ...WHERE...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 04:43:00 PST

Fucking Blue Cross Blue Shield!!!

I get a call from my pharmacy telling that BCBS wants to know how many test strips I use a day before they can supply me with another box. WTF? I'm diabetic!!! I need to test myself whenev...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 09:26:00 PST

Paris Hilton is free!! Make room for th' skank!!

Can somebody just shoot this broad?! I'm so sick of her it's not even funny. And that's what I hate about this country. We spend more time glamorizing a bunch of fucking nobodys. This cow has not one...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 06:44:00 PST

You may ask yourself, "Why does Chelcie perform comedy?"

The other night night we did a really good set. After the show a guy came up to me and said I almost made him shit himself.That's why I do comedy...the laxitive effect. All I'm saying is...bring the d...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Wed, 02 May 2007 06:19:00 PST

A question to all the American Idol fans

Is it me or does anyone else think that Sanjaya looks like a cross between Leif Garrett and El Debarge?...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 07:47:00 PST

The truth sho nuff!!

"A colored is a very frightened-to-death Afro-American. A Negro is one that makes it in the system, and he wants to be white. A nigger, he's loud and boisterous, wants to be seen. Nobody likes a nigge...
Posted by Comedian Chelcie Rice on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 06:49:00 PST