Dan Fontaine Comedy profile picture

Dan Fontaine Comedy

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

These should suffice...

"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to." -W. Somerset Maugham "Lesson number one in comedy, it’s always shit." - Jerry Seinfeld "The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well." -Joe Ancis"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me." -Dave Barry"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." -Albert Einstein"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Interests

making people laugh, wine library tv, public libraries, being a better person, wikipedia, coffee, oatmeal, red wine, white wine, beer, playing golf on the rare occasion, learning, curiosity, adventures in general...

I'd like to meet:

John Lennon, Bill Cosby, Jackie Robinson, Michael J. Fox, Dave Chappelle, Leonardo DaVinci, Tom Morello, Siddhartha Gautama, Ernest Hemingway, Tiger Woods, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Darth Vader, Hunter S. Thompson, Clint Eastwood, Woody Allen, Barack Obama, Influential Comedy Insider Who Thinks I’m Funny, an insurance salesman named Justin Case, and Ben Affleck...I think he’s cool. Oh, and the inventor of Simon, because it’s just like comedy. As soon you say "this is easy" it really sticks it to ya and makes you second guess everything you just thought.

Music:

The Beatles, Foo Fighters, Third Eye Blind, Virginia Coalition, Metallica, Led Zepplin,Neutral Milk Hotel, John Frusciante, Dirty Three, Nickel Creek, Butch Walker, Family Force 5, Blink 182, Notorious BIG, Jack Johnson, Green Day, Arctic Monkeys, Guns N Roses, Halestorm, as well as... As Fast As, Audioslave, Beck, Ben Harper, Bob Dylan, The Caesars, Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, Death Cab For Cutie, Disturbed, Edwin McCain, Elliot Smith, Eminem, Eve 6, Fiona Apple, Four Tet, John Mayer, Kaki King, Kill Gordon, Langhorne Slim, Ludacris, Marvelous 3, Metallica, New Pornographers, Nick Drake, Oasis, Psapp, Rage Against the Machine, Weezer, White Stripes, Wilco,

Movies:

In my opinion, the best acting in film is done by Daniel Day Lewis as "Bill the Butcher" in Gangs of New York. Also, in my opinion, "The Departed", while a good movie, was not even close to the best film of 2006. In the first 10 minutes there are some obvious editing mistakes that continue throughout the movie. "Little Miss Sunshine" was the best. With that being said...Shaun of the Dead, O' Brother Where Art Thou, The Burbs, Donnie Brasco, Donnie Darko, Hotel Rwanda, Indiana Jones', The Goonies, Fistfull of Dollars, Waking Life, Little Miss Sunshine, Dances with Wolves, Bottle Rocket, Unforgiven, Memento, Zodiac, That Thing You Do, Office Space, Run Lola Run, John Q, Super Troopers, Minority Report, Babel, The Godfather, The Machinist, What the Bleep Do We Know, Gladiator, Love Actually, The New Guy, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, Harry Potters', Young Frankenstein, The Perfect Storm, Big, Royal Tenenbaums, Fargo, Deep Impact, Million Dollar Baby, Small Time Crooks, Taxi Driver, The Big Lebowski, Dumb and Dumber, Casino, Transylvania 6500, Back to the Future's, Kill Bill's, Say Anything, Forrest Gump, High Fidelity, Hard Days Night, Saving Silverman

Television:

24, Arrested Developement, The Daily Show, Seinfeld, Chappelle's Show. That's it. Don't have a TV, I do the seasons on DVD. Going to watch Prisonbreak at some point, it looks good. 

Books:

The World's Religions, Lolita, The Artist's Way, Slaughterhouse Five, Thousand Cranes, Dreams From My Father, Siddhartha, DaVinci Code, Tao Te Ching...I need to read more because most of the books I've read end with "for Dummies". Not a joke.

Heroes:

My heroes are the people in my life that motivate me to be better tomorrow than I am today. I want to make them proud. There are four of them. Names aren't necessary. 

My Blog

GOOD PEOPLE DAY - 2008

Good People Day 2008   Andy Stuckey and Katherine Slingluff   When my girlfriend Laura and I moved to New York City almost eight months ago we had no jobs, no apartment and big plans. My c...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:30:00 PST

DON’T HATE HER BECAUSE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL

From the Boston Globe- "The Clinton campaign and its allies are up in arms about a comment made by a cable TV political show host that Chelsea Clinton is being "pimped out in some weird sort of way" b...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Fri, 08 Feb 2008 02:46:00 PST

HOUSEPARTY!

Houseparties are the best. By far my favorite destination when the evening calls for drinks and fun. What's not to like? It's a exciting land of strange opportunity. Bars have ambiguous, comfortable r...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 07:33:00 PST

MEDIA CRAZE

After waking up slowly to the sound of scraping metal against concrete, my day began with a bang. Woefully, it was not to my head. For the past 6 days, a deconstruction crew has been demolishing an ol...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 10:11:00 PST

WHITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

A long, long time ago, in a very small town, there lived a beautiful little girl named Jill. Not only was Jill very beautiful, she was a quick-witted smart-ass who never knew when to shut her damn mou...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 08:50:00 PST

NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON'T

Yesterday, I had 5 shows cancel. All in one week. I'm sure this is commonplace in the business of comedy, and I'm some sort of rookie for complaining, but it's not all about me. The bookers get put in...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 08:02:00 PST

GRAMMYS - MORE LAME THAN EVER

The nominations for the 2006 Grammy awards were released today with Mary J. Blige leading the way with 8 nominations. Other multiple nominees were the Dixie Chicks, James Blunt, John Mayer, Prince, an...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 08:00:00 PST

YOU BETTER START SWIMMING OR YOU'LL SINK LIKE A STONE...

After quite a few months of questioning my legitimacy as a comedian, I finally feel that I've stumbled upon what I'd almost given up searching for. Direction, purpose, something to drive my creativity...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:59:00 PST

US/MEXICO BORDER FENCE

President Bush signed a bill last week allowing the construction of 700 miles of fence along the US/Mexico border. This was done to protect us and to keep illegal (majority Mexican) immigrants out of ...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:54:00 PST

MISSION 180

Last night I did a fund raiser for a Champaign, Illinois non-profit called Mission 180. These guys help at risk youth in the community with different kinds of mentoring programs. I just want to say wh...
Posted by Dan Fontaine Comedy on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:51:00 PST