I might be Dorothy Parker if she had grown up in the magical Ozarks listening to "Parallel Lines" and "Under the Big Black Sun."
Writing is a harsh mistress...
..
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DIY. Readin', writin', and arrhythmia. My loyal Royal and Olivetti typewriters. Hemingway. Fitzgerald. Wilde. James Joyce. Streams of consciousness. Bodies of water. Being near bodies of water, but not in bodies of water. Swearing like a sailor. Kvetching. Kitsch. Yiddish. A kosher macrobiotic raw vegan lifestyle...someday. Yoga. Animal rights. Human rights. Civil rights. Equal rights. Feminism. Femininity. Eccentricity. Curiosity. Curiosities. Bees' knees. Cats' pajamas. Vaudeville. Vintage what-nots. Dusty old records found in attics or basements. Buddy Bolden. My new ukulele Lulu and my ol' cello Botticelli. Art: both highbrow and lowbrow. Pin-ups. Burlesque. Make-up. False eyelashes. Wigs. Gamine haircuts. Hats. High heels. Pedicures. T-strap shoes. Tap shoes. All things ballet-centric, but not eating disorders. Nudity, but not nudists. Surrealism. Retablos. Rosaries. Lusting after unavailable sideburn-sporting men and Vespas. Yeh-Yeh girls. Mod culture. The Beat Generation. The Lost Generation. The Algonquin Round Table. The Bloomsbury Group. Fin de Siecle. The Roaring 20's. Depression era whatever. Steinbeck. Faulkner. Sam Shepard. Tennessee Williams. Carson McCullers. Flannery O'Connor. Southern Gothicness. Murder ballads. The Blues. New Orleans. Road trips. Roadside attractions. Sideshow by the Seashore. Mermaids. Coney Island. Manhattan. Woody Allen. Weegee. Black and white photography. The grandparents I never had. Eastern Europe. Prague. Bohemia and bohemianism. Warhol's Factory. The avant-garde. Absurdist humor. Dada. Situationist theory and haecceity, even though I don't comprehend them. Crime. Punishment. Corsets. Lingerie. Aristasia. Androgyny. Crossdressing. Man's struggle with his inner self. Russian writers. Anti-heroes. Pirates. Knives. Adventures. Tea parties. Butterflies. The birds and the bees. Kissing. Daydreaming. Los Angeles sunsets. The magic hour of twilight. Moonlight. Starlight. Candlelight. Darkness. Rainy days and thunderstormy nights. Paranormal occurrences. Voodoo. Tarot. Palm reading. Reading in libraries. Autodidacticism. Eclecticism. Individuality. Imagination. Myths. Fairy Tales. Folklore. Cultural studies. Anthropology. Travel. Amsterdam. France. Existentialism. Being a beautiful and unique snowflake. Snowflakes. Embracing my pale skin. Staying out of the sun. The vampires of Santorini. Eating lunch in cemeteries. Zombies. El Dia de los Muertos. Catacombs. The abandoned mental hospital on Roosevelt Island. Haunted places. Venice. Those lovely gentlemen on Murano who kept telling me I was really very beautiful. International citizens, in general, with their fantastic fractured English. Wanderlust. Magical realism. Gabriel GarcÃa Márquez. Jorge Luis Borges. Argentina. The tango. The samba. Swaggering and sashaying. Being 5' 2" in one sock. Nabakov. James Mason's voice. Buster Keaton's eyes. Jean-Paul Belmondo's mouth. Jean-Paul Belmondo, period. Alain Delon and his world-weariness. Marcello Mastroianni. Tom Courtenay. Humphrey Bogart. Steve Buscemi. Lenny Bruce. Bruce Campbell. John Doe. John Doe. John fuckin' Doe. Crow's feet wrinkles. Overusing the terms "Darlin'" and "Baby Doll" constantly. Splitting infinitives. Obsessing over my incorrect grammar. (Strunk and White are the dual muses of cluster headaches.) Nurturing a love/hate relationship with my poor white trashiness, while wishing I could attend cocktail parties where Kierkegaard and Jung are discussed by the likes of George Plimpton and Truman Capote. Run-on sentences. Sentence fragments. Dichotomies. Irreverence. Irony. Sincerity. Coming of age stories. Living life like it's a zany, madcap, screwball comedy despite the dystopian horror and chaos. Slamming into love because it's going to hurt anyway, so you might as well make it worth the pain. Trying one's best.
Unless you are John Doe, Jemaine Clement, Anais Nin, Barbara Stanwyck, or Atticus Finch I am not here to play Nora to your Nick. But I simply adore meeting people who simply adore my writing. (YES!!! I'm published! Buy my dang book already!) I mean, seriously, what's in this relationship for me? Let's just be friends and never speak to each other again. I am a lone wolf of the written word. I prefer staying hidden among the other broken dolls that have been outgrown. I don't want to become a real live pet rabbit, entertaining and owned.
I don't know where I would be without music... (From Americana and Bossa Nova to Classical and Jazz to Psychobilly and Punk.) Diverse and ever-expanding. 45 Grave, ABBA, Aimee Mann, Air, Al Green, Amy Winehouse, Ani DiFranco, Antonio Carlos Jobim, April March, Aretha Franklin, Astor Piazzolla, Astrud Gilberto, Atom Orr, Augustus Pablo, Bach, Bad Brains, Balkan Beat Box, Bartok, The Be Good Tanyas, Beastie Boys, The Beatles, Bebel Gilberto, Beck, Beethoven, Bessie Smith, Beth Orton, Bikini Kill, Billie Holiday, Billy Bragg, Billy Childish, Bizet, Bjork, Blonde Redhead, Blondie, Bob Dylan, Bobbie Gentry, Boccherini, Bonfire Madigan, The Bored Butterfly Knife, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Buzzcocks, Slap that bass REEFER MAN
Add to My Profile | More Videos , Caetano Veloso, Calexico, Carla Bozulich, Carlos Gardel, Carolyn Mark, Cat Power, Cesaria Evora, Charles Aznavour, Charles Mingus, Charlie Parker, Chet Baker, Chopin, Cibo Matto, Cindy Lee Berryhill, The Clash The Clash - I Fought The Law
Add to My Profile | More Videos , Cleveland Lounge, CocoRosie, Cocteau Twins, Coralie Clement, The Corn Sisters, Cowboy Junkies, The Cramps, The Cure, Curtis Mayfield, David Bowie, Dead Can Dance, Dead Kennedys, Dead Rock West, Dean Martin, Debussy, Dengue Fever, Desmond Dekker, The Ditty Bops, The Divine Comedy, Django Reinhardt, Donna Summer, The Dresden Dolls, Duke Ellington, Dusty Springfield Dusty Springfield, The Look of Love
Add to My Profile | More Videos , ESG, Eartha Kitt, Edith Piaf, Elis Regina, Ella Fitzgerald, Elliott Smith, Elvis Costello, Elvis Presley, Ethel Waters, Etta James, Everything But The Girl, Fats Waller, Faun Fables, Feist, Flaming Lips, Flight of the Conchords Gangster folk rap - Flight of the Conchords
Add to My Profile | More Videos , Francoise Hardy, Frank Sinatra, Fugazi, Gang of Four, Gene Vincent, The Geraldine Fibbers, The Germs, Gilberto Gil, Gillian Welch, The Gits, Gogol Bordello Gogol Bordello
Add to My Profile | More Videos , Goldfrapp, The Gossip, Gotan Project, Grant-Lee Phillips, The Gun Club, Hank Williams, Hazel Dickens, Heavenly, Helium, Hem, Holly Golightly, Howe Gelb, Huggy Bear, Iggy Pop and the Stooges, Irma Thomas, Jacques Brel, The Jam, James Brown, Jane Birkin, Janet Klein, Janis Joplin, Jaqueline Du Pre', Jeff Buckley, Jill Sobule, Jill Tracy, Jim White, Joao Gilberto, John Coltrane, John Fucking Doe, Johnny Cash, Johnny Hartman, Jolie Holland, Joni Mitchell, Jorge Ben, Josephine Baker, Joy Division, Kate Bush, Katie-Jane Garside, Kelly Hogan, Kent, The Kinks, The Knitters, Kristin Hersh, Laurie Anderson, Le Tigre, Leadbelly, Lee Hazlewood, Leonard Bernstein, Leonard Cohen, Lisa Gerrard, Liszt, Lone Justice, Loretta Lynn, Louis Armstrong, Louis Prima, Luca De Nuzzo, Lucinda Williams, Luiz Bonfa, Lydia Lunch, M.I.A., Madness, The Magnetic Fields, Mahler, Manu Chao, Maria Callas, Maria McKee, Marianne Faithful, Mario Lanza, Marvin Gaye, Mary Margaret O'Hara, Mary Timony, Massive Attack, Memphis Minnie, Mendelssohn, Merle Haggard, Me'Shell Ndegeocello, The Meteors, The Meters, Miles Davis, Milla, Minutemen, Miss Derringer, Mozart, Mstislav Rostropovich, Muddy Waters, The Muffs, Mum, My Bloody Valentine, Nancy Sinatra, Neko Case Neko Case - Maybe Sparrow (Promo Video)
Add to My Profile | More Videos , New York Dolls, Nick Cave/The Bad Seeds Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Deanna
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Add to My Profile | More Videos , Paula Frazer, The Pixies, Pizzicato 5, The Pogues, Portishead, Pretenders, Pulp, Rachmaninoff, Radiohead, The Ramones, Rasputina, Ray Charles, Rebecca Carrington, Regina Spektor, The Replacements, The Rolling Stones, Ronee Blakley, The Ronettes, Sarah Harmer, Sarah Vaughan, Schubert, Scissor Sisters, Scott Joplin, Serge Gainsbourg, The Shangri-Las, Shirley Bassey, Shivaree, Shostakovich, Sigur Ros, Siouxsie Sioux and the Banshees, Sleater-Kinney, The Slits, Slonovski bal, Sonic Youth, Sophie Tucker, The Specials, Stan Getz, Stereo Total, Steve Earle, Stevie Wonder, Stravinsky, Suba, Tammy Wynette, Tarnation, Tchaikovsky, Television, Telto, Tenacious D, Thee Headcoatees, Thelonius Monk, Tiger Army, Tiger Trap, Tilly and the Wall, Tindersticks, Tom Brosseau, Tom Waits, Tori Amos, Tricky, TruckeeBrothers Billy Club
Add to My Profile | More Videos , Uni and her Ukelele, Velvet Underground, Vermillion Lies, Vic Chesnutt, Victoria Williams, Vladimir Vysotsky, Wanda Jackson, The White Stripes, Wire, X X's early appearance in NewYork 1980
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French New Wave. Film noir. Most things well-written, dark-humored, campy, old, surreal, esoteric, or foreign. Everything with Carole Lombard, Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, The Marx Brothers, Peter Sellers, Monty Clift, or zombies. "Dusty and Sweets McGee" and the Marvin Gaye film "Chrome and Hot Leather." (My daddy was in both!)
Three Sheets. (Are you kidding me??!! Travel and drink. How do I apply for that job?) Daily Show. Colbert Report. Simpsons. Extras. Dexter. Charlie Rose. Am I disturbed for wanting to play a dead body on CSI? I think I'd make a superb corpse. Staying still is one of my special skills. It's on my resume.
TRIBUTE TO ORPHEUS! Other than that, I could never pick just a few. I can't even get started on this. It will invert and hurt my brain. And I suspect I'm already slightly brain damaged. Besides, I would be wasting valuable minutes listing books instead of reading more of them.
My own damn self. And maybe you, too.
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