Groundskeeper Willie

On the surface,Im a surly, gruff, hot-tempered sort of a fella, and what you see is what you get. As far as this shaggy-haired, thickly-accented Scotsman is concerned, manners are for bath-taking, underpants-wearing, lily-huggers.I would rather wrestle a wild Alaskan timber wolf than set down to a high tea. At the faintest sign of trouble, I rip off my shirt and hurl my rippling muscular body into the fray. While I regard Principal Skinner as nothing more than a "silk-wearin' croquet-playin' buttercup," I take pride in performing the tasks Skinner sets for me. In addition to my regular groundskeeping at Springfield Elementary,i chase stray dogs through the air vents, water down the orange drink for extra profits at school functions, and substitute-teaching French class in my own sensitive way: "Bonjour, you cheese-eatin' surrender-monkeys." My personal life is as rocky and desolate as my native land. While it is true that I was once engaged to magical British nanny, Shary Bobbins, she dumped me immediately when her eyesight returned. Since then, I have spent the bulk of my private time secretly videotaping couples in their cars.