Mrs. Monsoon

avlaysHello dears, I often spend my time at my charity shop, which my daughter Edwina calls "sad", but I think it's a lovely contribution to the community. We've got a lovely bit of knick-and-knack-and-brick-and-brack! Much of the time, I'm with my family and friends, when I'm not working at the shop. I like to visit with my granddaughter, Saffron, though I don't quite know how she's managed to keep such a firm hand with her Mother, Edwina's father was terrified of her! Oh, Daddy left us a few years ago. Although I do enjoy the increase in living space I've aquired since his death, I do miss the pranks he'd pull at Christmas, each year. He'd take his teeth out from his mouth and stick them in the back of the Turkey, which made it look as if the bird's behind was smiling at you. "Look, it's Princess Anne", he'd say, and we'd have a jolly good laugh! Then there's poor old lovely Patsy, who can't quite keep out herself away from the boli stoli, or the end of a clean needle, for that matter...ohhh dear."I never have been good with napies of the brown variety" "Once you get caught in a porn cycle, you can be there for days!""Leave the Mummy, and come to Gran, dear""Have you got any more of those homophobic remedies you gave me?""Still no ring on that finger Patricia, dear?" "Joined at the waist, it seems."