Harley Kaplan profile picture

Harley Kaplan

The staff at this vineyard is part-man, part-beast. It's like the island of Dr. Merlot!

About Me



Actor: You Have the Right to Remain Violent, Johnny Appleweed, Wicked Business, Ritual: Blood Bonds, Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, Death4Told, Just One Time, Simply Irresistible, Office Killer

Producer: Temptation, Death4Told, Spotless, Pee Jesus

http://imdb.com/name/nm0438247/

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

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Music:

New Order, The Clash, Blondie, Velvet Underground (and Nico), Beastie Boys, Ray Carroll, Waterlillies, The Cult, The Smiths, Rolling Stones, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Jefferson Airplane, X, The The, PIL, B.A.D., Fishbone, Book of Love, Iggy Pop, Mushman

Movies:

Love and Death, Temptation, Day for Night, Children of Heaven, Dancer in the Dark, Repulsion

Television:

The Simpsons, Family Guy, Arrested Developement, Seinfeld, Roseanne, All in the Family, The Jeffersons, BBC, IFC, TCM

Books:

David Copperfield, I Know This Much is True, A Confederacy of Dunces, The House of Sand and Fog, Observatory Mansions, No One Here Gets Out Alive, You'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again, The Weight of Water, The Grotesque, She's Come Undone, Bee Season, Chang and Eng, A Day No Pigs Would Die, The Dress Lodger, The Bean Trees, A Natural History of the Senses, I'm With the Band, The Andy Warhol Diaries, Nazimova

My Blog

Krazy Klothes, LLC, is the New Muffin Top Jeans Company!!!

As everyone knows, my last venture into high fashion, The Muffin Top Jeans Company, recently met a curious demise.  I know--shoulda gone with the button fly.  Hindsight!  Well now I thi...
Posted by Harley Kaplan on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 08:24:00 PST

It’s Vals Y’all!

Happy Vals... To You, my passionate readers.  And remember--it is because of each and every one of you that I know that all my hard work ain't been in vain for nothin'. Rejoice!...
Posted by Harley Kaplan on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 10:36:00 PST

IS IT TRUE????

I just heard that Jamie-Lynn Spears lost custody of her fetus!  But that's not all:  Howard K. Stern now has FULL CUSTODY of J-L's fetus!!!
Posted by Harley Kaplan on Sun, 03 Feb 2008 03:35:00 PST

Armageddon

Wow--Talk about the end of the world!  Last week my cable went out and for nearly three whole days I had to just sit there and watch dvds, like some prehistoric caveman from the 1950's!!!
Posted by Harley Kaplan on Mon, 21 Jan 2008 08:46:00 PST

Legend

My genitals are a work of art.  In fact, in some circles, I'm referred to as "The Penis de Milo."
Posted by Harley Kaplan on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 10:00:00 PST

The coroner said the cause of death was too much beef jerky

Too Much Beef Jerky
Posted by Harley Kaplan on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 12:09:00 PST