Johnny Squires profile picture

Johnny Squires

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

MY NAME IS JOHNNY SQUIRES, MY WORLD COMEDY TOUR STARTING WITH THE BAY AREA IN CALIFORNIA ROCKS ON. CHECK ME OUT ON WWW.SFSTANDUP.COM, WWW.ROOFTOPCOMEDY.COM, WWW.FACEBOOK.COM, WWW.YOUTUBE.COM. I HAVE BEEN LUCKY TO PERFORM AT THE SAN JOSE INPROV, ROOSTER T. FEATHERS, GUNN HIGH SCHOOL, CLUB DELUXE, COBB'S ,THE PURPLE ONION, SAN FRANCISCO STATE UNIVERSITY, CAFECITO, 50 MASON, THE BRAINWASH CAFE, TOMMY T'S, ANNIES SOCIAL CLUB, THE ROSE & CROWN, THE CANVAS ROOM, THE HOLY CITY ZOO, RUDY'S PUB, THE BLUE ROCK SHOOT, PEPPERBELLYS, EL PETRON, FIGARO'S, SEA MI, AND DORSEYS LOCKER SPORTS BAR IN OAKLAND, CA. HAVE A PASSION FOR DOING STANDUP COMEDY, MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH AND BEING A POLITICAL ACTIVIST, CHECK OUT MY "WE NOT ME" PAGE ON MY FRIENDS LIST HERE. OBVIOUSLY I AM SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW KFC FEDEXES THEIR CHICKEN FROM KENTUCKY. I USED TO TELL JOKES ABOUT FAT PEOPLPE BUT I AM TONING THOSE JOKES DOWN TO A SMALLER SCALE.IF I WAS NOT A DEMOCRAT I WOULD SHOP AT BANANA REPUBLICAN..READ ON...TEAMWORK WILL SOLVE THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS, PEOPLE MUST STOP BEING ADDICTED TO RETAIL AND BLING.TIME DICTATES THE AGENDA HERE. GROWN MEN IN TOYSTORES LIKE KIDS IN CANDY STORES....MEN 35, 40 BUYING PS3'S REDUCED TO BOYS...GROW UP AND FOCUS ON SOLVING THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS. RAPPING AND ACTING ARE ALSO BEING ADDED TO MY ENTERTAINMENT ARSENOL AS MY GOAL IS TO MAKE ALOT OF MONEY, GIVE AWAY MOST OF OF IT TO CHARITY, AND TALK ABOUT IT ON LARRY KING. CHECK ME OUT ON WWW.GENESIMMONS.COM: http://www.genesimmons.com/fanstories/letters10/index995.htm l, http://www.genesimmons.com/fanstories/letters11/index1009.ht ml I WAS VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE PREVIOUSLY WORKED IN THE HEALTHCARE INDUSTRY FOR 9 1/2 YEARS FOR WHICH I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR AND LOOK BACK ON WITH PRIDE.I JUST TRIED OUT FOR FOR "LAST COMIC STANDING" AND ENDED UP BEING THE "FIRST COMIC SITTING".HERE I AM PERFORMING AT THE BRAINWASH CAFE IN SAN FRANCISCO, CA WHERE I APPEAR EVERY THURSDAY AT 7PM WITH MANY OTHER COMEDIANS HOSTED BY TONY SPARKS:CHECK MY STANDUP COMEDY ON YOUTUBE AND WWW.ROOFTOPCOMEDY.COM. DO A COMEDIAN SEARCH ON "JOHNNY SQUIRES"WELCOME TO THE FASTEST GROWING SELF PROMOTING, TEAM ORIENTED WEBSITE ON THE INTERNET. THE PURPOSE OF THIS SITE IS PROMOTE MYSELF AS WELL AS OTHER PEOPLE CAUSE "EVERYBODY GETS TOP BILLING". THE 2 WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE I HATE/DISPISE THE MOST ARE "LAZY" AND "SELFISH". IF WE ALL WORK TOGETHER AND DON'T TAKE PEOPLE/RESOURCES FOR GRANTED, I BELIEVE THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS WILL BE SOLVED MUCH SOONER. LOOKING FORWARD TO TALKING ABOUT THAT ON OPRAH ONE DAY. I AM MOTIVATED TO MAKE ALOT OF MONEY AS AN ENTERTAINER AND GIVE AWAY MOST OF IT TO CHARITY/RESOURCES TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. YOUR COMMENTS ON THIS SITE AND FRIEND ADDS ARE WELCOME. DO NOT SEND EMAILS, COMMENTS OR FRIEND REQUESTS WITH OVER R-RATED CONTENT, THEY WILL BE REJECTED LIKE DIKEMBE MUTOMBO AND YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, THIS IS MY HOUSE.ASK ME TO READ YOUR SCRIPT, YES I WILL AUDITION FOR YOUR MOVIE. DO NOT ASK ME TO INVEST IN ANYTHING. REQUEST INTERVIEWS HERE. GIVE MONEY TO HOMELESS PEOPLE LIKE I DO. YES I WILL ACCEPT TICKETS FOR KISS, PUBLIC ENEMY AND CYPRESS HILL SHOWS. NOT TRYING TO BE DIFFICULT. LET ME BE CLEAR-YES THIS IS THE REAL JOHNNY SQUIRES. DO NOT HAVE AN ATTORNEY AND HAVE TRAFFIC TICKETS. IT TAKES A NATION OF COMEDIANS/RAPPERS/ACTORS TO HOLD ME BACK. STANDUP COMEDIAN SEEKING TO JOIN THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD. PROUDLY ATTEND ABUNDANT LIFE CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY IN MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA. WITH PASTOR PAUL E. SHEPARD:DRIVE A 1990 VINTAGE YELLOW TOYOTA CELICA WITH THE CHECK ENGINE LIGHT ON. BEEN DOING STANDUP COMEDY SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IN 1985. IF U WANT TO BOOK ME FOR A SHOW, EMAIL ME AT [email protected]. A PERCENTAGE OF MY SHOW FEE ALWAYS GOES TO CHARITY. I STARTED DOING COMEDY MY SOPHMORE YEAR IN HIGHSCHOOL WON THE GUNN HIGH SCHOOL COMEDY COMPETITION IN 1985 MUCH OF MY SENSE OF HUMOR HAS COME FROM MY DAD/FAMILY. I BELIEVE IN DIVINE INTERVENTION. WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME IT WAS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH IT WAS DIVINE MENSTRUATION....PERIOD. I AM LEARNING TO SPEAK SPANISH SO HERE GOES: "MI CARTERA TIENE NO DINERO". I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO STUB MY TOE AND SLIPPED AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. I USED TO BE OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE I DATED 2 WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME: SARA LEE AND AUNT JEMIMA. I GUESS I AM TO NAIVE TO KNOW WHAT EVIAN SPELLED BACKWORDS IS. VERY MOTIVATED TO MAKE ALOT OF MONEY AND GIVE AWAY MOST OF IT TO CHARTITY TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. TRY TO UPDATE MY MYSPACE PAGE EVERY DAY JUST LIKE WWW.KISSONLINE.COM. "WE NOT ME" - KEVIN GARNETT (A LIFELONG INFOMERCIAL). BE A TEAM PLAYER. "NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS" - HARRISON FORD (ME TOO). "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE SENATOR" - CHEECH MARIN. "LET'S PLAY 2"- ERNIE BANKS. JOHNNY SQUIRES IS AS ENTHUSIASTIC TO BE A WORLD TEAM PLAYER AS KIRBY PUCKETT WAS TO PLAY BASEBALL. "BASKETBALL PLAYERS NEVER GET FAT" - SYLVIA. LIVE ALONE IN THE OAKLAND HILLS IN CALIFORNIA.BORN AUGUST 23, 1968 IN PASADENA, CA.GREW UP IN THE BAY AREA WITH MY BROTHER AND MOTHER. AT AGE 12 WAS WINNING PITCHER IN 1981 PALO ALTO LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL CITY CHAMPIONSHIP. ALSO THE SAME YEAR WON 6TH GRADE PALO ALTO BASKETBALL CITY CHAMPIONSHIP AND SCORED 19 POINTS. AT THE TIME 5'10 WITH GREASY FACIAL MUSTACHE HAIR AND HAIRY LEGS. MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL PERFORMED IN A RAP GROUP TRIO AT SENIOR FROLICS: TRIBUTE RAP SONG TO LEN BIAS AND ANOTHER DOPE JAM CALLED "SNEEZE". COMPETED IN A STANDUP COMEDY COMPETITION AT SAN FRANCISCO STATE UNIVERSITY THAT WAS WON BY MARGERET CHO. STANDUP COMEDY AND MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH IS SOMETHING TRULY ENJOY DOING AND HOPE TO BE ABLE TO PERFORM FOR AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE TO SEE THE FOLLOWING ARTISTS IN CONCERT: JERRY SEINFELD, BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT, KISS (TWICE), GREG MADDUX (SEVERAL TIMES), PETE ROSE, BILLY JOEL, MODERN ENGLISH, JULIAN LENNON, BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE, THE SUGAR CUBES W/BJORK, STYX, JANE OLIVER, THE IRISH TENORS, THE BEASTIE BOYS, FISHBONE, THE UNTOUCHABLES, DIGITAL UNDERGROUND, NEW ORDER, PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED."THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU GET" - PAUL MCCARTNEY"YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT...BUT YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED" - THE ROLLING STONES. "CHECK OUT THE STORY OF THE GLORY OF THE REAL ESTATE" - CYPRESS HILL. I AM AN ACTOR/COMEDIAN. "ANGELS FLY BECAUSE THEY TAKE THEMSELVES LIGHTLY" - RALPH BARBIERI "IF THE KNICKS ARE WINNIN', THEN SPIKE LEE'S GRINNIN' " - HOUSE OF PAIN. "I JUST GOT BACK FROM RED LOBSTER" - ISIAH THOMAS. "I GOT PLATINUM RECORDS ON MY WALLS, YOU GOT 2 CHESSEBURGERS IN YOUR TOILET STALLS" - CYPRESS HILL. "I AM TERRIFIED OF DISSAPOINTING MY WIFE" - RUSSEL CROWE "YOU WANNA DO YOUR WAY? DO IT MY WAY!" - GIL FERREIRA. "IT AINT BRAGGIN' IF YOU CAN BACK IT UP" - WILL CLARK. "LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH" - TED NUGENT. "I NEVER SAID WHAT I SAID" - YOGI BERRA. "AWESOME BABY" - DICK VITALE. I PERFORM EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT AT 7PM AT THE BRAINWASH CAFE AT 1122 FOLSOM STREET IN SAN FRANCISCO, CA WITH MANY OTHER COMEDIANS.I APPEARED IN "ANNIE" IN 1981 IN PALO ALTO, CA."THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU GET" - PAUL MCCARTNEY"CONTENTMENT STINKS, STAY FOCUSED" - CARNEY LANSFORD"EVERYBODY GETS TOP BILLING" - JOHN SQUIRES"WE AINT GETTIN' NO PLACE FAST" - MOE HOWARD"JOHN, THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING YOU SAID THIS WHOLE SEMESTER" - MY VIRTUAL FAN CLUBCARRY THE TORCH FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE NO LONGER HERE.GOD BLESS EVERYBODY.DO NOT TAKE ANYBODY OR ANYTHING FOR GRANTED.JOHN 3:16 : "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE" I AM A TRUE BELIEVER IN GOD AND I FEEL THE BIBLE ALONG WITH OTHER RELIGIONS MAKES THE WORLD A WONDERFUL PLACE TO LIVE IN. "GOD BLESS YOU" IS MY FAVORITE AND MOST MEANINGFUL THING TO SAY/WRITE TO ANYONE AS I ONLY WISH THE VERY BEST OF THINGS TO HAPPEN TO ANYONE. HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY BECAUSE TODAY ONLY HAPPENS ONCE. JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.GO TO CHURCH. JOEL OSTEEN IS THE MAN. JUST RECEIVED AN AUTOGRAPHED DICK VITALE BASKETBALL ORDERED FROM WWW.DICKVITALE.COM. "AWESOME BABY!" HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I AM SINGLE AND ATTRACTED TO FILLIPINA/ASIAN/LATINA WOMEN. CURRENTLY HAVE A GF. LADIES, IF YOU WISH TO MAKE THE TOP 40 ON MY HOMEPAGE, MAKE SURE YOUR PHOTO IS IN GOOD TASTE. DO NOT SEND EMAILS/COMMENTS THAT ARE IN BAD TASTE, THEY WILL BE REJECTED. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE DIFFICULT, YES I AM THE REAL JOHN SQUIRES, I DO NOT HAVE AN OFFICIAL WEBSITE....STAY HERE.PEACE OUT, GOD BLESS EVERYBODY. VERY HAPPY TO SAY I AM WORKING OUT REGULARLY NOW AND BEING VERY HEALTH CONSCIOUS.

My Interests

STANDUP COMEDY/MOVIES/ACTING. JUST SAW "21" WITH LAURENCE FISHBOURNE AND KEVIN SPACEY, GOOD MOVIE. NETWORKING ON WWW.FACEBOOK.COM ,STANDUP COMEDY:MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH IS SOMETHING I TRULY ENJOY. COMEDY ALONG WITH ACTING, SINGING AND RAPPING GIVES ME MOTIVATION TO MAKE ALOT OF MONEY AND GIVE AWAY MOST OF IT TO RESOURCES TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE (SUCH AS CANCER RESEARCH, WORLD HUNGER/POVERTY ASSOCIATIONS, ECT.) AND BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT ON LARRY KING SOMEDAY. PICKUP BASKETBALL (NO I CANNOT DUNK, ONLY DONUTS CC: ACE FREHLEY), WORKING OUT AT THE GYM, GOOD CONVERSATION, BLASTING PUBLIC ENEMY IN MY 1990 YELLOW TOYOTA CELICA, DOING NICE THINGS FOR OTHER PEOPLE, GIVING SOMETHING BACK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN POSTIVE INFLUENCES IN MY LIFE E.G. ANGELS ON EARTH. I REALLY CAN'T SEE TELLING JOKES ABOUT BLIND PEOPLE AND IF I EVER HAD A RACIST JOKE WRITTEN DOWN I WOULD ERASE IT WITH WHITE OUT.THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU GET.I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN LIPOSUCTION. I WOULD RATHER BE PH-PHAT THAN OVERWEIGHT. I APPLIED FOR A TARGET CREDIT CARD AND WAS DENIED BUT RECEIVED A FREE ALARM CLOCK, A WAKEUP CALL TO FIX MY BAD CREDIT. PROUD TO SAY AM NOW WORKING OUT AT THE GYM REGULARLY. STANDUP COMEDY, MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH,BUYING MY MOM AND BROTHER HOUSES, GIVING MONEY TO CHARITY, JOINING THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD.HERE ARE SOME REALLY BAD JOKES: SANTA ONLY WORKS 1 DAY A YEAR BECAUSE HE HAS A CLAUSE IN HIS CONTRACT. IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT MANUAL LABOR IS NOT A MEXICAN NAME. I APPLIED FOR A JOB AT BURGER KING THE OTHER DAY AND THE PERSON WHO INTERVIEWED ME SAID "YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT AND HAVE A BAD COMPLEXION....GREAT, YOU CAN BE THE MANAGER!" I PLAN TO BE THE FIRST ASTRONAUT TO LAND ON THE SUN......I WILL GO THERE AT NIGHT. THE OTHER DAY MY PET FISH GOT MAD AT ME AND GAVE ME THE FIN. THEN I GOT MAD AND TRIED TO DROWN HIM. I SAW THE SAME COW 2 DAYS IN A ROW AND IT WAS DEJA MOO ALL OVER AGAIN. I HAVE BEEN WORKING OUT LATELY, I AM UP TO 1000 CRUNCHES PER DAY (20 CANDY BARS). WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? COLONEL SANDERS WAS CHASING HIM. I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH MY 69 YEAR OLD ROOMATE THE OTHER DAY AND I SAID....."MOM?". JUST WROTE A HAIKU: "JUNK FOOD IN GOOD TASTE KEEPS YOU SLIM......FAT CHANCE OF THAT." WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.STANDUP COMEDY, SPORTS. HERE IS A LINK TO AN ARTICLE ON MY STANDUP COMEDY RELATED TO MY ATTRACTION TO ASIAN WOMEN: http://www.asianmediawatch.net/rosecrownpub/CHECKOUT WWW.KISSONLINE.COM -UPDATED EVERY DAYDO NOT WASTE MY TIME WITH FRIEND REQUESTS OVER R-RATED THAT ARE F-A-K-E. THEY WILL BE REJECTED LIKE DIKEMBE MUTUMBO. THIS IS A FAMILY ORIENTED PAGE. NO BATHROOM HUMOR..THOSE JOKES STINK. DRUG JOKES: ARE YOU HIGH? YES THIS IS THE REAL JOHNNY HARRINGTON SQUIRES. PEACE YO. PH-PHAT.

I'd like to meet:

DIANE ANNE. JOEL OSTEEN. ROSE. SPIKE LEE. JAY MOHR. SIMON COWELL.KAREN NGUYEN. GRACE KOSAKA. VIRGINA CHA. UMA THURMAN. LARRY KING. LORNE MICHAELS. ANY DIRECTOR WHO WILL PUT ME IN A MOVIE OR TELEVISION SHOW OR TV COMMERCIAL. AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. KISS. NIDA. BARRY BONDS. KAL PENN, WILLIAM HUNG, FRED WIILARD. MIA SMILES. WILL FARRELL. LACEY TOM. DICK VITALE. OPRAH WINFREY.NAUTICA THORN,MONTEL WILLIAMS. KENNY MAYNE. JAY MOHR. DAVID LETTERMAN. JAY LENO.SAMUEL LEROY JACKSON. PRINCE ROGERS NELSON. BJORK. THE BEASTIE BOYS.JAY ROACH.MILLS LANE. LUCY THAI. ELLEN DEGENERES. BOB DENIRO. QUENTIN TARANTINO. PAM GRIER. SEAN PENN. GENE HACKMAN. MICHAEL MANN. JEFFREY WIEGANT. JAMES LIPTON. ANYBODY WHO GIVES MONEY TO CHARITY.

Music:

FLAVOR FLAV:PUBLIC ENEMY:KISS, DIGITAL UNDERGROUND, LADYTRON, BEACH BOYS,,QUEEN LATIFAH, QUEEN,PRINCE,DJ MAGIK MIKE, SNOOP DOGGY DOG, SMASHMOUTH, HIP-HOP. SUBLIME, DEEP FOREST, METALLICA, THE STRANGLERS, 2 LIVE CREW, RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, ACE OF BASE, MODERN ENGLISH, P.I.L., COLD PLAY, MORRIS DAY THE TIME, KITARO, CLASSICAL, ART OF NOISE, SANTANA, THE WHO. THE CLASH, BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE, PETER MURPHY, SUPERTRAMP FISHBONE, EVERLAST, MY FIRST RAP PH-PHAT CD WITH DOPE LYRICS.

Movies:

MEN OF HONOR:IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT:THE NATURAL:RUDY:DANCES WITH WOLVES:FARGO:TALLEDEGA NIGHTS:THE LAST SAMURAI,FAST N FURIOUS TOKYO DRIFT,FAST N FURIOUS, OLD SCHOOL, HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE, THE COOLER, STRANGER THAN FICTION, TRANFORMERS, THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE,FIRE DOWN BELOW,THE SOUND OF MUSIC, THE WIZARD OF OZ, KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, THEY CALL ME BRUCE, THE LAST EMPERROR, KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM, TOKYO DECADENCE, WALKING TALL, COPLAND, PURPLE RAIN, FRED CLAUS, REIGN OVER ME, POOLHALL JUNKIES, MIDNIGHT RUN, PULP FICTION, NAKED GUN, AIRPLANE, HEAT, GOODFELLAS, OLD SCHOOL, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, TALLEDEGA NIGHTS, THE NATURAL, JERRY SEINFELD COMEDIAN, UNBREAKABLE, SEXY BEAST, MALICE IN THE PALICE. KISSOLOGY VOLUMES 1 AND 2 AND 3 ,BREAKING AWAY, RUDY, 1408, MR. BROOKS, ALI, HOOSIERS, STAR WARS, STARSKY AND HUCH, GHOST RIDER, NEXT, DISTURBIA, LETTERS FROM IWA JIMA, FRED CLAUS, GLADIATOR, CINDERELLA MAN, SNAKES ON A PLANE, CHANGING LANES, WHO'S THE MAN, REMEMBER THE TITANS, BEAUTIFUL MIND, TITANIC, MEN OF HONOR, ROCKY BALBOA, GOODFELLAS, DONNIE BRASCO, TRUE ROMANCE.

Television:

CNN......CNN.......CNN......LAST COMIC STANDING, AMERICAN IDOL, ESPN, 60 MINUTES DISCOVERY CHANNEL, ANIMAL PLANET CHANNEL,SOPRANOS,LARRY KING LIVE, OPRA WINFREY, JUDGE JUDY, THE WHITE SHADOW, WHAT'S HAPPENING, KING OF QUEENS, ESPN, RUN'S HOUSE, WHAT'S UP THAILAND, PLANET IN PERIL, THE JAMIE KENNEDY EXPERIENCE, AMERICAN IDOL,,SEINFELD, GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS, TILA TEQUILA ON MTV, CALIENTE, SANFORD AND SON, VH1 KISS SPECIALS, PLAYBOYS GIRLS NEXT DOOR, DAVE CHAPPELLE SHOW, PARDON THE INTERRUPTION, COLD PIZZA, GOMER PYLE, BUGS BUNNY, FAT ALBERT, THE COLBERT REPORT.

Books:

BECOME A BETTER YOU BY JOEL OSTEEN. PSYCH0 CYBERNETICS BY MAXWELL MALTZ. YOU CAN NEGOTIATE ANYTHING BY HERB COHEN. THE BIBLE.THE PERFECT STORM BY SEBASTIAN YOUNG.SEABISCUIT BY LAURA HILENBRAND,THE OUTSIDERS BY S.E. HINTON, TEX BY S.E. HINTON, A HERO AINT NOTHIN BUT A SANDWICH BY ALICE CHILDRESS, COBB BY AL STUMP, DIANETICS BY L. RON HUBBARD, GIANT STEPS BY KAREEM ABDUL JABAAR, COMIC BOOKS. KISSTORY VOLUMES 1 AND 2. A MILLION LITTLE PIECES BY JAMES FREY. DIANETICS BY L. RON HUBBARD....ARE WE CLEAR HERE? (CC: JACK NICHOLSON, TOM CRUISE).

Heroes:

DICK VITALE (2008 BASKETBALL HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE):ROBERTO CLEMENTE:STEVE IRVIN:JOEL OSTEEN, LARRY KING:TIGER WOODS: RODNEY DANGERFIELD:BABE RUTH:JERRY SEINFELD:MUHAMMAD ALI: PETE ROSE: MY MOM/FAMILY, MY GRANDMOTHER IN HEAVEN, JEANIE, SMILEY FACE, BARRY BONDS, BOBBY BONDS, WILLIE MAYS, LUKE WILSON, PAUL SORVINO , EDDIE GAEDEL, JACKIE ROBINSON, CURT FLOOD, SEABISCUIT, MR.ED, STEVE RICH, GRAHAM SMITH OLYMPIC MEDAL WINNER, BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE FOR HELPING TO REBUILD NEW ORLEANS, STEVE IRWIN, PASSENGERS OF UNITED FLIGHT 93, JIMMY GUNN, NINA ABLANG, PUBLIC ENEMY (MY 41 CENTS), JAMES EARL JONES, UNDERDOG, DICK VITALE, PAUL E. SHEPARD, JOHN BELUSHI, DUANE WADE, BEN FRANKLIN,RICHARD PRYOR, ROBIN WILLIAMS, JOE MONTANA, THE THREE STOOGES, SAMUEL L. JACKSON, GENE SIMMONS AND THE REST OF KISS, JERRY SEINFELD, TOM SIZEMORE, DUSTY BAKER, BILL WALSH, THE BLUES BROTHERS, GREG MADDUX, BABE RUTH, KIRK GIBSON, BRUCE LEE, JACKIE CHAN, LARRY BIRD, BILL RUSSELL, DAVID LEE ROTH, OPHRAH WINFREY, LESLIE NIELSON, WILL CLARK, RANDY SNOW, TROOPER JOHNSON, BILL RING, RUDY RUDIGER, TIM BROWN, NOLAN RYAN, CHRISTY MATHEWSON, PHIL HARTMAN, CHRIS PENN, MARS CALLAHAN, CHAZZ PALMENTIERI, PAUL STANLEY, RALPH MACCHIO, CHER, YOKO ONO, RUSSEL CROWE, CHRISTOPHER REEVE, MOE HOWARD.

My Blog

NEXT STANDUP COMEDY DATE JOHNNY SQUIRES 5/12/08 7:00 PM TOMMY T'S, PLEASANTON, CA

5/12/08 WITH OTHER COMICS 7:00 PM             
Posted by Johnny Squires on Fri, 19 Oct 2007 10:02:00 PST

IF YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT STOP DATING SARA LEE

ph-FAT WORD TO YOUR ARTERIES I USED TO TELL JOKES ABOUT FAT PEOPLE BUTT I AM TONING THOSE JOKES DOWN TO A SMALLER SALE. FAT PEOPLE ARE WEAPONS OF MASS CONSUMPTION WITH A STINKY ENDING.   &nb...
Posted by Johnny Squires on Thu, 10 Apr 2008 02:48:00 PST

IT TAKES A NATION OF HECKLERS TO HOLD ME BACK

JOKES 1. VIAGRA 2. LOYAL HECKLERS 3. FRIED CHICKEN 4. MY 69 YEAR OLD ROOMATE   BEATS 1. WE NOT ME 2. MY MOMA 3. UNITED WE SOLVE 4.  FAT JOKES NEED TO BE TONED DOWN    ...
Posted by Johnny Squires on Thu, 03 Jan 2008 10:38:00 PST

MY GOAL IS TO BE A WRITER/CAST MEMBER OF SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ASAP

I AM OBSESSED WITH THAT AND CAN NOT AFFORD OBSESSION COLOGNE. JUST TRYING TO BE CIVILIZED CC; CHARLES BARKLEY, SCARY SPICE, IS THAT GOOD STICK? HOW DID KOJAK BREAK HIS NECK? KING KONG USED HIM AS A BA...
Posted by Johnny Squires on Fri, 18 Jan 2008 03:37:00 PST

TEAMWORK WILL SOLVE THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS THE FASTEST

WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU BETTER AGREE OR ELSE!!!!  CHECK OUT MY NEW MYSPACE PAGE "WE NOT ME"  
Posted by Johnny Squires on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 09:38:00 PST