Hi boys and girls! I'm Sarah Beeny of Property Ladder fame! Check out my new series on Wednesdays on Channel 4 at 8pm. If there's one bit of advice I could offer people taking on their own project it would be to give the builders sexual favours to get that extra special finish that young professionals love. I like to take my builders round the back. Didn't earn my millions by giving the builders cups of tea! And I didn't get the nickname 'Slutty Slut' at school for nothing! Grr! Watch how I sneer and laugh as fools who ignore my expert advice loose thousands of pounds! Also see if you can count how many times my hair style and colour change in the same episode. Don't bother with my Streets Ahead programme though cos that was crap.
***You may have noticed my rival Kirstie Allsopp from that boring-as-shite programme Location...whatever, has set up a pathetic myspace profile blasting me. I'm not bothered Allsopp. You can never even dream of reaching my level of success, fame and beauty!!! I have men constantly lusting after me and my body and was even rated in the top ten women fathers would like their son's to date.***
My arch nemesis:
Looking for a date? Why not try my online dating service www.mysinglefriend.com - 'Bringing Sluts Togther'
If you look carefully you can see my knickers:
