Mel Bain profile picture

Mel Bain

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Father, Son, Husband, Brother, Friend, Lover, Cousin, Uncle, Highland Scot, Desperado, Bastard, Writer, Comedian, Actor, Sailor, Rogue, Biker, Historian, Outlaw, Working man, Executive, Bluenose, Shellback, Navigator, Gunner, Historian, Scholar, Warrior, Poet, Funny (haha, not gay), Rancetouer, Adventurer, Dealer, Rambler, Cowboy, Scrapper, Liar, Honest, Globetrotter, Forward thinker, Enlighted, Humanist, Unionist, Democrat, Jailbird, Yardbird, Punk rocker, Psychobilly, Hardcore, and I have a penchant for what Dan Brown refers to as the "sacred feminine," including a positive attitude for menstration. yes every 28 days I welcome the onslaught of that spotty rust colored river. I secretly celebrate its primary trickle to its then much anticipated Amazon-like flow which serves as the forward to the novel which is the freaky deakiness of the union between man and woman.N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N ..

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My Interests

Motorcycles esp: bobbers, Old School Caferacers, Choppers, and dirt racers, Film, Laughing till I cry, stand-up, Gettin’ my freak on, Travel, Mi Familia y Espousa, Writing, Work, O.K. I’ll say it-Pussy, Baseball, the Red Sox, Punk Rock n Roll, Ladies, History, Ships, Trombonists (Yeah), driving like a fuckin’ bat out of hell, Tacos, Brasil, Spain, Tangiers, Mersin, St. Thomas, DivebarsNot Getting mauled by a pack of rabid, swollen red assed, angry and violent fuckin’ Babboons.

I'd like to meet:

Well, before December ’06, I would have loved to meet Richard Pryor, but considering the current circumstances, Fuck That! I met Michael Madsen a while back, and that was fuckin’ cool. I told him that he was my Robert Mitchum, which at the time seemed like a really cool thing to say, you know serious and complimentry yet not ass-kissing, and not all lame and embarrassingly actorish. However, as I just now read the whole Mitchum thing, it just dawned on me how it sounds really fuckin’ retarded. Sigh. Seriously though, I’m willing to meet just about everyone, especilly those who are not nardbarker

Music:

IGGY POP, Early 7th Century B.C. Assyrian Scream Singing, Slim Whitman, Dropkick Murphys, Johnny Cash (from when I was a kid, not Jacquin Phoenix), Social D., Bad Religion, Jimmy Cliff, Dwight Yokham, Nick Cave, Black Flag, X,The Sonics, Rose Tattoo, Buck Owens, Jim Reeves, All, Meteors, Agnostic Front, The Pistols, Patsy Cline, The Specials, Tom Waits, Bob Dylan, Stones from '68-72, The Who, U2, Peter Tosh, U.S. Bombs, Circle Jerks, Ray Charles, Merle Haggard, The Seeds, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Slanderin, Descendents, Pennywise, Refused, Elvis, The Rev Horton Heat, Jesus Lizard, Howlin' Wolf, Too many to mntion them all.value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PfMGxR4Oy6U" ..MAN'S RUIN
..

Movies:

Noir, Silent, Hollywood’s Golden Age, Italian Realism, French New Wave, 1950’s Rock n Roll, Indie, Hammer, AIP, American NewWave (1966 - 1979), Biker, Mexican Wrestling, Blaxploitation, Chop Socky, Comedies, Italian Horror, Japanese Samurai, Western, Foreign, Dragonfly, Pat Garret and Billy the Kid, The Getaway, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Raging Bull, Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip, Which Way Is Up, The Last Detail, The Sand Pebbles, Caligula, Le Mome, Bonnie and Clyde, Sexy Beast, City of God, The Wild Bunch, Night of the Hunter, SinCity, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Braveheart, Rob Roy, Stir Crazy, Bad Santa, The Hidden Fortress, The Bicycle Theif, Life Aquatic..., Bottle Rocket, The Cabinent of Dr. Caligari, Galolipoli, Alexander Nevsky, Road Warrior, Quadrophenia, Sid and Nancy, Repo Man, Dead Man, Jarmusch, Anderson, Cohen Bros., Blue Velvet, Smoke Signals, The Propostion, Tetsu he Iron Man, Brother, Sonatine, Road Warrior, Stranger Than Paradise, swingers, Friday, Gangs Of New York, The Rivers Edge, Good Fellas, Blue Velvet, Eraserhead, The Rat Catchers, Trainspotting, Intermission, farenheight 911, Reds, Thank You For Smoking, Taxi Driver, 40 year Old Virgin, True Romance, Ran, The Sand Lot, Paper Moon, Blow Out, The Omega Man, Frankenstein, Bram Stokers Dragula, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Girl Can’t Help It, Caligula, Double Indeminity, The Emperor And The Assassin, One False Move, Sling Blade, The Perfect Storm, Crash, Syrinana, Its A Mad,Mad World, The Life And Times Of Judge Roy Bean, Coffee, The Man Who Would Be King, The Unforgiven, High Plains Drifter,Josie Wales, Mr. Majestic, Cuckoo’s Nest, Goin’ South, THE DEPARTED etc,etc,etc. Way Too Many To Fuckin’ Mention!!!!

Television:

The Simpsons, The Daily Show, The Shield, PBS, The History Channel (despite its many flaws), Build or Bust (Russ Mitchell is the shit), Some of the shit on Discovery Channel, Baseball tonight, The Red Sox when they’re on. Most T.V. is truly out and out fuckin’ shit though. We should actually force the prisioners in Gitmo to have to watch the hours and hours of crap that we pass off as entertainment.

Books:

Of course nothing can beat an evening of a little Joyce, Mozart and a good round of auto erotic-aphyxiation. ROAD WORTHY HUNGRY AND MEAN by that devilishly handsome and immeasurably gifted Lord Mel Bain, Bukowski, Stienbeck, Hemmingway, Poe, Conrad, Qian, Heroditus, Homer (not who orginally came to mind), Frost, Madsen, Zinn, Franklin, Miller (the perv), H.S.T., Rimbau, Stoker, Paine. I think that everyone should read Studs Terkle's WORK. Its fuckin' brilliant and could truly be a nhilist bible. It just dawned on me how Maya Angelo can always be counted on for a righteous fart, or dick joke, Sherman Alexie, Thereou (FUCK HOW DO YOU SPELL THE MAN'S FUCKIN" NAME), Stevenson, London, The old National Lampoon magazines, The Horse BC, Outlaw Biker, David Mc Callulm, Tacitus, The Han historian family Ban, Rumi. I'm a huge fan of diaries, and primary sources. The whole America Firsthand and Slave Narrations collections are fucking awesome! I mean awesome in the classic sense too, not in a Jeff Spicolli way.

Heroes:

All working people who struggle everyday to go to work, pay their bills, raise their eventually rotten kids, and hopefully can save enough money to take some time off, My Dad, Mum, Richard Pryor, IGGY, Bono, Thomas "Chocolate Thunder" Jefferson, Lewis and Clark, Shackelton, I really dig Michael Madsen, Yaz, Ted Williams, Tony Gywnn, About 90% of the knobs that served alongside me on board the USS Talbot FFG-4, Everyone who manages to hold onto and retain their dignity despite the overwhelming odds against it, Those who’ve served and came out smarter than what they were when they went into the military, Dr. Ha who every year is forced by his hipocratic oath to perform his duty and is therefore forced to man up for my prostate exam (You’re a very brave man Doc) and force his bejeweled fingers up past my "sugar walls" especially -if you remind me I’ll make sure you get your class ring back, My sister Becky’s fortitude and wicked spin-kick, My genitals for showing their strength to come back from their years of abuse and social afflictions (The bastards have show the determination of the gawd damn Energizer Bunny), The delicate woman who looks like George Takei and waxes my Boyzillian at my local nail salon

My Blog

Resume, of sorts

MEL BAIN STAND UP Comedy Factory Outlet Starvation Cafe Aroma Comedy Works Cowgirl Theatre Enlisted Men's Club Philadelphia Naval Shipyard Sassy's Video Drone The Attic Improv FILM Dragonfly  Uni...
Posted by Mel Bain on Fri, 23 May 2008 09:24:00 PST

A self important list of cats Ive worked with and met, as a means to establish feeble

I fully acknowledge this is totally self-fullfilling, and nothing more than bullshit public masturbation, but this is also a feeble atempt to establish a minor form of credibility as I once again put ...
Posted by Mel Bain on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:33:00 PST

Yeah and Im fucked up

I just got stared down and browbeaten today because I was wearing my kilt.  This Bob and Judy muther fucker with the glaring stare was wearing a powder blue, argyll sweater vest.  This ...
Posted by Mel Bain on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:18:00 PST

Chap My Hide

Poolhalls of my mind Filled with masculine femme-fatal The next game is mine Come give me a ride   Hot, black sweaty and mean Kick on the lever, your softtail warmly purrs alive Throw my leg over...
Posted by Mel Bain on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:39:00 PST

Motor City Chrome (for Gary)

The summer drive started as usual Dad in the drivers seat, with a Big Gulp in his lap The twins in their identical car seats back aft The road twisted and turned reptillian-like snaking through the v...
Posted by Mel Bain on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:03:00 PST

105 things about myself, the right honorable bastard know as Mel Bain

Because I am no different than anyone else, I have included as a form of introduction, 105 things about myself. ************************************************************ * 1. I swear like a fiend. ...
Posted by Mel Bain on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 11:34:00 PST

Money doesn't always gaurantee us anything, but general uneasiness

Earl felt very, very uncomfortable When the prostitute noticed he had wet his bed.
Posted by Mel Bain on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 12:31:00 PST

In Dreams

Harry Dean Stanton and I were riding piggyback on lemurs. The Lemurs were wearing leather helmets, and goggles.  A long silk scarf was neatly tied off around their necks. We rode to Machu Pichu, ...
Posted by Mel Bain on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 10:52:00 PST

Could Be The Best Thing I Ever Had In My Mouth

Well, once again a total freakscene I dreamt I was at an upscale cocktail party The air was filled with the typical fucking bullshit People passing off opinions that I had already read in rags as dive...
Posted by Mel Bain on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 09:28:00 PST

William Blake

Last night I dreamt of William Blake His paintings, prose, and philosophy He was the rockstar artist And frankly his approach to stardom Is much more refreshing than this current mourning of "my talen...
Posted by Mel Bain on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 10:06:00 PST