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Links to domestic violence websites and helpful organizations.... THERE IS A WAY OUT!!
US Justice Dept. - Violence Against Women Office
Survivors By Choice
Women in Need Foundation
The Safety Zone
Feminist Majority Foundation
Speak Out Against Domestic Violence Foundation
THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE
Tension Building Stage:
Tension begins to increase and controlling gets worse; incidents get progressively worse.
Explosion stage:
Physical violence: hitting, shoving, slapping, choking, etc. Threatening with or using weapons.
Loving Stage:
Batterer becomes loving and acts remorseful; sending flowers, taking you out. May even go to counseling so you will take him back. Also called the “honeymoon stageâ€.
THE TENSION BUILDING STAGE BEGINS AND THE CYCLE IS REPEATED.
AN ABUSER’S POWER & CONTROL CAN TAKE MANY FORMS
Isolation: Controlling where she goes, what she does, where she lives; isolating her from family and friends.
Intimidation: Putting her in fear by using looks, actions, gestures, smashing things, destroying her property.
Emotional Abuse: Insulting and putting her down, jealousy and possessiveness. Playing mind games.
Economic Abuse: Trying to keep her from getting a job. Taking her money, making her ask for money.
Sexual Abuse: Making her do things against her will. Treating her like a sex object. Attacking her body/sexual parts.
Spiritual Abuse: Not letting her go to church or church functions. Not letting her worship in her own way.
Threats: Threatening harm/kill her or other family members. Threats to harm or take the children from her.
Animal Abuse: Neglect or physical abuse to family pets or farm animals.
EVENTUALLY ALL OF THESE CAN LEAD TO PHYSICAL ABUSE: PUSHING, SLAPPING, CHOKING, ETC
Myths of Domestic Violence
Click here to learn how to keep an abuser from tracking your internet activity
WANT OUT?
If you are living with domestic violence, there IS help.
~Get practical and emotional advice from the National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline: 0808 2000 247. It's confidential, free and operates 24 hours. The helpline may also be able to help you find emergency accommodation.
~Talk to a trusted friend or family member. They may be able to offer you a safe place to stay if you need a break or if you decide to leave.
~Keep a list of essential phone numbers in a safe place. These should include the 24-Hour National Domestic Violence Freephone Helpline 0808 2000 247, your local police station and a solictor's number.
~Always keep your mobile fully charged or your card topped up.
Checklist for preparing to leave:
Keep a bag packed with the following important items:
Personal items:
A change of clothes and toiletries for you and your children
Some money
Duplicate car key
Medication for you and your children
A child's special toy
Jewelery
Mobile phone charger
Address book
Photographs
Key documents:
Passports
Benefit books
Driver's licencse
Any court orders/injunctions
Birth certificates for yourself and your children
Divorce papers/marriage license/custody papers
Bank details/account numbers
Credit cards/cheque books
Mortgage or housing details
National insurance number
Medical cards for you and your children
Pack these items over a period of time. Only you will know when this is safe to do so. Keep the bag in a safe and secret place, perhaps at the home of a relative or friend.
Survivors of Domestic Violence:
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Stories of Survivors