JA Konrath profile picture

JA Konrath

If you can't beat 'em, wait until they turn their backs...

About Me

I write thriller novels about a Chicago cop named Jack Daniels.
The first in the series is called WHISKEY SOUR.
The second in the series is called BLOODY MARY.
The third in the series is called RUSTY NAIL.
The fourth in the series is called DIRTY MARTINI.
The fifth in the series is FUZZY NAVEL , and it's currently available in a reasonably priced hardcover edition.
I also have a short story download available on Amazon.com for only 49 cents called A FOUR PACK OF JACK and another called A SIX PACK OF CRIME.
Buy my books. Please. I love this job. They're available as hardcovers, paperbacks, audiobooks, and ebook downloads. And they're really good. I promise.
Jack Daniels chases serial killers. Really creepy ones. The books are scary enough to make you lock all your doors and turn on every light in your room. They are a lot like James Patterson, Patricia Cornwell, Kathy Reichs, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, or Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal Lecter. My villains make Lecter look like a Boy Scout.
But the books are also laugh aloud funny, similar to Dave Barry, Janet Evanovich, Christopher Moore, and Carl Hiaasen. If you drink milk while reading, the milk will come out of your nose. If that's something you enjoy, rush right out and buy some of my books, and a gallon of moo joice, and spend an entire week squirting your brains out.
Plus, if you buy my books, we'll be Best Friends Forever.
Don't you want to be BFF with a bestselling author? Sure you do! Stop playing around on the Internet and go read a book. If you do, I'll love you for all eternity. If you don't, I'll start to cry. Please don't make me cry.
I'll tell you what... how about you try four of my books for free?
Click on any of the above book covers to learn how to download free copies.
Yes, I said free! Does Stephen King give you free books? How about James Patterson or Patricia Cornwell? And they can afford it, too. But they just don't love you like I do.
Speaking of love, I recently edited an anthology called THESE GUNS FOR HIRE. It's a collection of hitman stories from the top thriller writers in the business, including David Morrell, Max Allan Collins, Jeff Abbott, PJ Parrish, Ken Bruen, Reed Farrell Coleman, Ed Gorman, MJ Rose, Victor Gischler, Sean Doolittle, Jeremiah Healy, and many others. Get it. You'll love it.
Also, please check out my pics and my really stupid video. It's on the gory side, but pretty amusing.
And remember to visit JAKONRATH.COM for all of your JA Konrath needs, and A NEWBIE'S GUIDE TO PUBLISHING for all of your writing questions answered. There are hundreds tips, hints, and tricks about the creative writing biz, plus contests, freebies, tour dates, downloads, bad jokes, and information about my books.
JA's Guestbook

Here you can add pictures of you, or your books, or your pets, or Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

My Interests

Writing, reading, drinking, not necessarily in that order.

Besides being an author, I brew my own beer, which may be the best hobby in the world.

I MAMEed my Xbox, and love to play old arcade and console classics with my son. Pengo rules!

I spend waaaaay too much time on the computer.

The only sports I'm any good at are swimming and racquetball.

Got a new novella coming out, called SUCKERS. It's a tie-in with my Jack Daniels series, and is co-written by the very cool Jeff Strand. They're only printing 300 copies, then it's gone forever. Read my blog for more info. Here's what the cover looks like:

And yes, it's about vampires. Sort of.

I'd like to meet:

Tom Clancy, to tell him I found the Red October and to call off the hunt. (It was under my bed.)

People I'd like to have a beer with:
Robert B. Parker (the reason I became a writer)
Gary Larson (still the best)
Cassandra Peterson (I still have the posters)
Invader Zim (fear the fist!)
Andrew Vachss (superhero)
Jackie Chan (incredible performer)
Janet Evanovich (the master)
Chow Yun Fat (Inspector Tequila)
James Patterson (the other master)
Laura Gemser (Emmanuelle forever)
Bill Mumy (Art for Artie's sake)
John Carpenter (best director ever)
Weird Al Yankovic (been a fan forever)
James Cameron (best director ever)
Miko Mido (La Blue Girl)
Sam Raimi (best director ever)
Robin Williams (funny as hell)
Tom Waits (genius)
Seth MacFarland (creative madman)
Leonard Cohen (genius)
Dario Argento (best director ever)
Bruce Campbell (the chin)
Bob Walkenhorst (The Rainmakers)
Neil Diamond (Hell Yeah!)
Master Shake (a brother from another mother)
Sigorney Weaver (that's who I picture when I'm writing Jack Daniels stories)
Stephen Lynch (Damn he's funny)
Thomas Harris (3 out of 5)
Groucho Marx (though he probably wouldn't have much to say)
Any and all booksellers (you rock!)

Music:

I play a little piano. It's 8 inches long.

And so's the piano.

I love Tom Waits, because his early stuff is the absolute best "drink too much and feel sorry for yourself" music ever written, and his later stuff is so damn eclectic it's mesmerizing.

The Rainmakers are a personal favorite since my teenaged years. Their song Long Gone Long is the greatest song ever written.

Leonard Cohen, for his way with language. I'm Your Man and The Future are both perfect albums.

They Might Be Giants, the giants of nerd rock.

Roky Erickson and the 13th Floor Elevators. I'm not a big fan of the Grateful Dead or Phish (too much improvisation, not enough catchy beats.) Roky is the opposite: psychedelic rock that is very singable, but also flat-out drug-induced. If you start listening to him, you can't get the tunes out of your head. Ever.

Alice Cooper, for having more diverse music than any other artist in the history of rock. Plus his live show kicks ass.

Currently on my iPod are the complete discographies of Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Devo, Iron Maiden, Men Without Hats, Alanis, Motorhead, Raven, and Twisted Sister. I'm on a bit of an 80's kick it seems.

I also enjoy Shriekback (Big Black Nemesis is the song), The Plasmatics (the first time I heard WOW I thought she was a guy), Weird Al Yankovic (who has his fingers on the pulse of modern pop music trends), and Neil Diamond. In fact, my dog is named Neil. My other dog is named Jack, for obvious reasons...

The Cramps, The Dead Milkmen, The Dead Kennedys, The Meatmen, and early Suicidal Tendencies still rock after all these years.

Barnes & Barnes, Wildman Larry Fischer, and Wesley Willis, when I'm feeling goofy.

And I was into hip-hop PE (pre Eminem), and still listen to Ice-T, Run DMC, Sir Mix-a-lot, Hostyle, UTFO, Beastie Boys, NWA, House of Pain, and Public Enemy, dog.

JA on Blogtalkradio

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Yakking about books, self-promotion, and coping with incredible wealth, fame and success. Hypothetically.

Movies:

Movie rights for my books are available. Serious inquiries only.
Okay, non-serious inquiries are welcome too.
Favorite films: anything by James Cameron or Sam Raimi or John Carpenter or Wes Craven. I also love John Woo, Ringo Lam, and Takeshi Miike.
Foreign: Run Lola Run, Dobermann, Hanzo the Blade, Lone Wolf and Cub, Versus, Stacy, Junk (everybody fights!), Old Boy, Battle Royale, A Better Tomorrow 2, Full Contact. And any chambara, HK Cat III, and hentai when it used to be clever.
Old School Horror: Last House on the Left, Last House on Dead End Street, any Romero, Deodato, Fulci, D'Amato.
Westerns: Django, Leone, Keoma, Run Man Run, Magnificent Seven, Quick and the Dead.
Musicals: Jesus Christ Superstar, and I've seen Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living inParis more times than I'd like to admit.
Anime: Violence Jack, Fist of the North Star, Golgo 13, Gatchaman, Devilman, La Blue Girl, Urotsukidoji.
Cult: Primer, August Underground, Sweet Movie, Emmanuelle in America, El Topo, Singapore Sling, Godzilla and Gamera.
Aliens and The Abyss are two perfect movies. Terminator and T2 are also perfect. True Lies...not so much.

Television:

Television rights for my books are available. Contact my agent, or just drop by my house with a six pack, and we'll talk.

When I have time to watch TV, it's usually the Discovery Channel or TLC. I also manage to sneak in House, The Simspons, Drawn Together, Sealab 2021, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Just got into Harvey Birdman. Damn, that show is funny!

Also, lately I've been bit torrenting shows from my youth. The Banana Splits, Space Giants, Spectreman, Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot, The Herculoids, Ultraman, and Speed Racer. I'm not sure if I'm embracing my inner geek, or using memories as a form of entertainment....

Books:

Go to Amazon.com. Search for "JA Konrath" and buy my books.
Some authors I read include:
Steve Alten (Meg, The Loch)
Janet Evanovich (Stephanie Plum)
James Patterson (Alex Cross)
Lee Child (Jack Reacher)
Barry Eisler (John Rain)
Melanie Lynne Hauser (Supermom)
Jeff Strand (Andrew Mayhem, Pressure)
Harlan Coben (Tell No One)
Harry Shannon (The Pressure of Darkness)
Dave Barry (heh heh)
John Sandford (Lucas Davenport)
Tess Gerritsen (Jane Rizzoli)
Marcus Sakey (The Blade Itself)
Tasha Alexander (And Only to Deceive)
Ridley Pearson (Lou Boldt)
Thomas Harris (Hannibal Lecter)
Blake Crouch (Locked Doors)
David Morrell (Creepers, Scavenger)
David Ellis (Eye of the Beholder)
Raymond Benson (James Bond)
Rebecca Drake (Don't Be Afraid)
Jackie Kessler (Hell's Belles)
MJ Rose (Dr. Morgan Snow)
Jack Kerley (The Death Collectors)
Jeff Abbott (Fear, Panic)
Jay Bonansinga (Frozen, Twisted)
Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston (Pendergast)
James Rollins (Sigma series)
Robert W. Walker (Instinct series)
Brian Wiprud (Stuffed), and so many others...
If you like any of the above authors, chances are you'll also like my books.
If you want to try one of my Jack Daniels series for free, simply click on the Whiskey Sour cover below and dowload the complete novel as a PDF file to read on your computer, PDA, Blackberry, cell phone, tablet PC, ebook reader, Mobi Pocket, etc. It can also be printed.
This is only available for a limited time, so act now.

Heroes:

The person I most admire is my wife, because she was smart enough to marry me. Clever girl.

I also admire people who make donuts. I mean, don't you?

My Blog

Halloween Contests for Free Scary Books

A few announcements to make on behalf of me and some good friends, and then a chance to win cool free stuff.STUFF TO BUY:WOLFSBANE & MISTLETOE, edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni LP Kelner. This ...
Posted by JA Konrath on Wed, 22 Oct 2008 02:15:00 PST

Website Relaunch!

Hello!I recently overhauled www.JAKonrath.com, and invite you to stop by for a chance to win twenty million dollars! (Void where prohibited, which is where you live.) It was designed by Jack Passare...
Posted by JA Konrath on Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:52:00 PST

New Message Board

I've always wanted to message board, where fans could interact and newbie writers could ask questions.My new website will launch soon, but in the meantime feel free to play on the board--it's awful lo...
Posted by JA Konrath on Thu, 07 Aug 2008 01:08:00 PST

Fuzzy Navel Book Trailer

I sold a kidney $29,883 to produce this video for my fifth Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel. I know it was worth it, because this will easily convince thousands of people to buy my book. It's a mast...
Posted by JA Konrath on Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:13:00 PST

New Videos

I sold a kidney $29,883 to produce this video for my fifth Jack Daniels thriller, Fuzzy Navel. I know it was worth it, because this will easily convince thousands of people to buy my book. It's a mast...
Posted by JA Konrath on Fri, 01 Aug 2008 02:32:00 PST

Plea For Help

I didn't join MySpace to sell my books. I joined because I truly enjoy being friends with you. In fact, you're my very favorite friend out of all of my 13,000 MySpace friends. You're easily the cooles...
Posted by JA Konrath on Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:30:00 PST

Newsletter 8

 Straight Up - The Official Newsletter of Author J.A. Konrath 8In this issue:--Introduction--Book Launch Party--The Fuzzy Navel Tour--Reviewer Contest--Free E-Books--MySpace--Speaking Engagements...
Posted by JA Konrath on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 07:07:00 PST

Contests

If you're a fan of the Claire Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne mysteries written by friend and literary dynamo Julia Spencer-Fleming (and you should be) she's giving away free books on her website.If you ar...
Posted by JA Konrath on Tue, 13 May 2008 10:31:00 PST

Free Books! For Real!

I just finished writing Jack Daniels 6 (Cherry Bomb, coming July ’09 from Hyperion) so now it’s time to get back into promotion mode.To kick things off, I’ve got a lot of free stuff ...
Posted by JA Konrath on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 08:08:00 PST

Limited Edition Pre-Order Available

Greetings all of my close and personal MySpace Friends who are more important to me than my family. I hope you’re doing well. Really. I’m sitting here and hoping it right now. Since we&rs...
Posted by JA Konrath on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:55:00 PST