Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser)

About Me

"According to my thirteen-year-old son, every superhero has an origin. My origin is a little embarrassing. I wasnâ€™t put into a rocket and sent to Earth by my parents. I wasnâ€™t bitten by a radioactive spider. No, I was merely the innocent victim of a Horrible Swiffer Accidentâ€¦"
Thus begins my story, the story of an average hard-working single mother of two teenagers, PTA lackey, cleaning product junkie, accidental superhero. When I'm not out saving the world from evil, reptilian villains, I have to come home to do battle with - gasp! - teenagers! (Not to mention, figure out how to fight crime while wearing high heels.)
Read about my adventures in CONFESSIONS OF SUPER MOM and SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD!
The film rights have just been optioned, too, so maybe someday Super Mom will be on the big screen. (Although I'm sure they won't let me play myself; they'll probably get one of the Olsen twins or someone else whose dress size is a negative number.)
To order the book, find out about contests, and see what my alter ego, mild-mannered author Melanie Lynne Hauser is up to (she likes to boast about the time she was invited to a Swiffer-sponsored Hollywood party and got to swap carpet cleaning tips with Robert Sean Leonard), visit her website. You can also view Melanie reading from the book on YouTube.
CLICK HERE TO GET A PRE-MADE MYSPACE LAYOUT

My Interests

Keeping the world save for democracy; reading the National Enquirer and InStyle Magazine; trying out new Swiffer products. Also gardening and discovering new one-skillet meals that everybody will eat. (Talk about a superhuman feat!)

I'd like to meet:

Wonder Woman, because I really want to know if that golden girdle is necessary, and if it's true she's had quite a lot of plastic surgery; The Green Lantern because he's a total hunk (plus he appreciates jewelry, what with that ring of his), Aquaman because I really want to find out what makes a man want to communicate with fish. As for mortals, I have a secret crush on Jon Stewart, and most of all, Alfred. Batman's butler. Because I'm a single mom with two teenagers - I'm the one who needs a butler. Not some rich bachelor.

Music:

I am DYING to get my own theme song - do you hear that, John Williams? I know you have a MySpace account! Other than the usual superhero movie music, I also love Johnny Cash - can't get enough of the Man in Black! Nanci Griffith is a favorite, as well as anything by Hank Williams. (You may not be aware, but most superheroes dig country music.)

Movies:

The Incredibles - laughed my a** off, so true to life! Napoleon Dynamite - my kids like it, and to my great surprise, so do I. Edward Scissorshands - I have a lot of empathy with someone whose hands act like machines. (Mine do, too, only they clean instead of cut.)

Television:

Amazing Race, American Idol, Gilmore Girls, The Sopranos, Project Runway, House, Teen Titans, Smallville, What Not to Wear (Because I don't always wear a costume, you know!)

Books:

Confessions of Super Mom, Super Mom Saves the World, the instruction manual for my Swiffer WetJet. I'm trying to start a JLA bookclub (which isn't easy; try getting a bunch of superheroes to read anything but their own comic books!), and some of the books we're considering are Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods," anything by Jane Austen, and "She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb.

Heroes:

My kids. Seriously. Oh - and Alfred. (Are you reading this, Alfred? Don't you want to come work for me??)

My Blog

Be the Parent

Here in Chicagoland, the headlines are all talking about the conviction of two parents who allowed teenaged drinking in their house, resulting in the deaths of two of these teens in a car accident imm...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Wed, 25 Jul 2007 04:23:00 PST

Deep Thought from Family Vacation

Did you know that if you're in a nice restaurant with teenagers, and you order a steak, and your steak is served to you not quite the way you ordered it (say, you like it just barely walked past the f...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:32:00 PST

Jumble Pie - My Gift to You

If you've ever visited my other blog, you might have noticed the big image of a cherry pie over to the right of this page. That's a button that will take you to a page where you can download a free -...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:08:00 PST

Make it Work - a Writing Story

OK, today's post is in answer to a comment on another post. Emily asked me if I'd ever shared the story of how I became published before. And I don't know maybe I have. But I couldn't remember, and ...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 11:44:00 PST

Fan Question #2

Starting to get fan questions about SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD, so I thought I'd answer them one by one. Do you think the Little League will sue you? Why? Just because, ...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 07:32:00 PST

Fan Question #1

Starting to get fan questions about Super Mom Saves the World, so I thought I'd answer them one by one. Do you think Ryan Seacrest will sue you? Why? Because I imply, in the book, tha...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 07:36:00 PST

Launch Party Pics!

OK, don't hate me - I'm posting pictures here because 1) I'm a techno dunce and 2) I'm getting ready to drive to Michigan for a book signing. So I'm breaking one of the MySpace Commandments and ...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 06:21:00 PST

The Curse of the Thin Mirror

Recently, Super Hubby and I were in Cancun while the rest of you were freezing your butts off and digging out of a foot of snow. Tee hee! Cancun was lovely. Now, here's a sad detail I'm hoveri...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 10:51:00 PST

Shameless Self Promotion

So I have a new book coming out - SUPER MOM SAVES THE WORLD. And I have to indulge in a little shameless self promotion. The thing about publishing today is, authors have to do a whole lot of th...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 09:21:00 PST

A Star is Shorn

I just got a great idea for a book - the next Valley of the Dolls! A surefire bestseller, it's the harrowing first person account of life in the celebrity fast lane; a rags to riches story...
Posted by Super Mom (Secret identity: Melanie Lynne Hauser) on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 10:43:00 PST