Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 profile picture

Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0

Gadfly, Dilettante, Author, Temp

About Me

I wrote BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK (NAL - March, 2006) and the upcoming BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG ASS (NAL - June, 2007). I suck at returning emails, cheat at Pictionary, and am far less charming in person than you might imagine. (Except when drinking, which is fairly often.)

My Interests

I can't remember what I put in my first profile but it made me sound interesting, damn it. But I guess I dig reading, writing, cashing large checks, gardening, spying on people, getting pedicures, watching Sandra Lee on the Food Network and laughing myself into an asthma attack over her "recipes", complaining, re-arranging furniture, calling the Alderman to bitch about my neighbors' trees, and attempting to please Maisy, the world's naughtiest pit bull.

I'd like to meet:

The assclapper who erroneously deleted my last MySpace profile. (You know, if I were actually paying for this service, I'd be really pissed.) Also, I'd like to meet readers, writers, people anxious to part with $13.95 USD for each of my books, and anyone who can make me laugh.And before you ask, no, I DO NOT want to check out your webcam. Put your undies back on - you're killing your mother. (P.S. Your band sucks.)BTW, if you want to meet ME, check out my tour schedule under the Appearances link at jennsylvania.com.

Music:

The last ten songs on my playlist are: FREEDOM ‘90 – George Michael, SINCE U BEEN GONE – Kelly Clarkson, YOU SPIN ME ROUND – Dead or Alive, 19 – Paul Hardcastle, HEAT OF THE MOMENT– Asia, CHAINS OF LOVE – Erasure, SWEET CAROLINE – Neil Diamond, STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON – NWA, WASTED ON THE WAY – CSNY, and BRIAN WILSON – Barenaked Ladies, so, um, yeah... I'd say my music taste is a bit schizophrenic.

Movies:

TK - I'm going to pretty up the joint before I get to stuff as important as movies, TV, and books.

Heroes:

Bridget Jones, Becky Bloomwood, Patsy, Edina, and Lucille Bluth, of course.

My Blog

The Never-Ending Tour

Here are the cities and dates for the final leg of the SAPF tour: June 17 - Phoenix June 18 - Denver June 19 - Minneapolis June 25 - Boston I'll post the what-time-and-where specifics when I get them...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Mon, 26 May 2008 11:13:00 PST

Such A Pretty Who?

This morning, I imagine thousands of intellectuals are opening The Paper of Record to peruse the book review section, as they do every Sunday.  I can picture them sipping gourmet coffee in their...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Sun, 25 May 2008 09:01:00 PST

A Big, Fat Self-Indulgent Whew!

* First, a note for you MySpacers - I'll be posting quick blogs from the road because I've sort of figured out how to use my BlackBerry.  I say "sort of" because I can't figure out to cross-post ...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Mon, 05 May 2008 06:43:00 PST

Or Maybe I Should Just Stop Doing Meth Before Bed?

Many authors are inspired by their dreams, creating interesting characters and dramatic plot points courtesy of their subconscious.  Sometimes when they're writing and they can't quite get the s...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:21:00 PST

Fact or Fiction?

Sometimes I wonder if people believe all the dumb things that happen to me on a daily basis.  The thing is, I know I'm credible, but I wouldn't be surprised if others thought, "There's no way h...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:27:00 PST

Smokey, Smokey, Smokey

The last post may have given you the impression that I've been doing nothing but buying cute dresses to prepare myself for the tour.  That's not at all true - it's just that I've purchased almo...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 06:12:00 PST

The Eyes of Minnesota Are Upon You

If I promise to put up a real, has-nothing-to-do-with-pimping-my-own-book related post later today, will you guys help me out for a minute? We're at the tail end of figuring how everything's going to...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:05:00 PST

I Swear This Is a Happier Post

Since Such a Pretty Fat won't be out for another two weeks (woo-hoo!) here are my suggestions for some good reads. First, my friend Allison Winn Scotch's The Department of Lost and Found, just releas...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:01:00 PST

The Opposite of LOL

I planned to post some reading recommendations last night but before I did so, I clicked on the dog version of the Lolcat site because I am all about the procrastination.  Nothing can put me in...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:59:00 PST

This Clip Has Nothing to Do with Anything...

... except that it's from Kids in the Hall, a Canadian sketch comedy show from the '90s.  This program is responsible for helping form a decent sized chunk of my sense of humor.  (I also credit the Co...
Posted by Jen Lancaster, Version 2.0 on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:10:00 PST