Tom Segura profile picture

Tom Segura

Ask your mom

About Me

Check out my bio over there ------ other than that I'm a really tall 6-time olympian and a certified spiritual psychologist. Layout Created at Mspremade.com

My Interests

My girlfriend and her sweet, sweet milk flaps...and i love kids and watching insane people interact with their sane, imaginary friends.

I'd like to meet:

Extremely tall and extremely short people. But only the very extremes of either category. Also, athletic dismembered people and all the Murder Ball guys. They’re fantastic. And also Coach Tim "ICE" Harris at Booker T. Washington High School in Miami (congrats on the 4A Title coach -RESPECT). That guy does not fuck around. Nor does Mickey Andrews, so I’d like to meet him. I’d also like to meet the Silver Lake "walker" who walks around silver lake and los feliz all day reading newspapers, for what seems to be 12-16 hours a day. seriously. Thanks to my buddy Full Charge and some other noteworthy locals, I’ve discovered that this seemingly schizophrenic drifter is actually an anesthesiologist - for reals. I do not want to "go under" in this dudes hands, which I can’t even imagine happening since ALL he does is walk. I also like stories about crazy people or crazy shit, so go ahead share those if you have any.

Movies:

Happiness is probably the funniest goddamn movie i’ve ever seen. You will laugh till you cry if you haven’t seen that. "Year of the Bull" is great. "Cutman" is the best. I really love the writing there. Oh and the BBC 7 UP series is phenomenal. And porno too, but only ones with asses and feet. You MUST see "Hated" --G.G. Allin is the craziest sumbitch to ever walk the earth! Oh and Fool’s Gold is Pure Gold! Really! Also, you should clean your eyes with razor blades. I don’t love Fight Club even though you’re supposed to. I can’t believe Keanu Reeves gets 25 million a movie. I think actors should be paid based on ability NOT ticket sales. I think Keanu, Cameron, and Cage should each get 7, 13, and 19 dollars per film, respectively. I also think Philip Seymour Hoffman, Naomi Watts, and Belladonna should get 58 million per movie.

Heroes:

Mister Alexander, Teddy Loons, and Harvell Jenkins!

My Blog

Murder at the Zoo

I went to the Los Angeles Zoo yesterday. I haven't been to a Zoo in years. I can't even remember which zoo I went to when I last went, but I do know that I've been to a zoo before. I was really excite...
Posted by Tom Segura on Fri, 29 Aug 2008 07:27:00 PST

WELCOME BACK TO LOS ANGELES!

Over the weekend I went to Vero Beach, Florida and I headlined a fundraiser in this quaint, adorable, little beach down. It went very well, thank you for asking. I couldn't help but notice how friendl...
Posted by Tom Segura on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 10:51:00 PST

FRIENDLY PILOT

Yesterday I went out for a pilot. For those of you not in the "biz" a pilot is code for "show that won't air." I haven't been on many of these so naturally I was a tad nervous. I immediately recogniz...
Posted by Tom Segura on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 10:31:00 PST

CUTMAN TRAILER!!!!

Check out the new trailer for CUTMAN, my new movie coming out this spring!!! http://www.ftmproductions.com/contact/Movies/cutmantrailer.m ov apparently you have to copy and paste it, so do that, then...
Posted by Tom Segura on Sat, 25 Feb 2006 07:52:00 PST

Last Comic Audition!

So I went out for Last Comic Standing, uh 4, and let me tell you, if you didn't get a chance to go in there and tell some jokes, you did better than me! I came to the conclusion that I was not "what t...
Posted by Tom Segura on Wed, 22 Feb 2006 02:58:00 PST