unemployment, disappointment, new jokes, nachos, mountain goats, finding my voice (figuratively), losing my voice (literally), staying single, celeb gossip, parallel parking, bargain shopping, the saltine challenge, listerine, making frenemies with LA comics, not copywriting the term "frenemy" in time, discovering new music, rediscovering old music, requesting "i don't wanna lose your love toniiiight" to unamused djs, defending britney, pointing out incorrect grammar on signs and billboards (sticklers unite), picking scabs, sinus infections, rock to fakies, my parents' cheesesteaks, polka dots, kind of breakdancing, spooning with splinter, writing down odd situations and mediocre punchlines on tiny slips of paper, losing tiny slips of paper, and trying to find music that gives bands like the call a run for their money. remember the call? of course you don't.
I'd like to meet:
i'd like to meet people who laugh too loud and never refer to tattoos as "tats." i'd also like to meet anyone who gets as excited for "reality show clip time" as i do. mankini? hamwinkie? good morning, good morning, good morning, and good morning. stay with me. my "dream" guy is good at crowd work, wears t-shirts that fit him properly, doesn't have a haircut with a name, and played drums for the who. he doesn't exist. i've looked into it.
Music:
i tend to be into musicians who died "before their time" and songs that make me feel something no matter how many times i've heard them. the kinks. the police. casiotone for the painfully alone. nick cave. love. spoon. pavement. depeche mode. the boggs. huey lewis. ween. nick drake. hot snakes. genesis (phil or peter). john vanderslice. hockey night. the outfield. dinosaur jr. can. talking heads. the shins. tears for fears. richard marx. neutral milk hotel. inxs. the karl hendricks trio. dando. journey. the velvet underground. the hold steady. pedro the lion. the cars. they might be giants. badly drawn boy. dylan. chaka kahn. bryan adams. kleenex girl wonder. roxy music. the zombies. donovan. bowie. syd barret. elliot smith. van halen. the who. the smiths. the mountain goats.
Movies:
eternal sunshine, best in show, high fidelity, the big lebowski, life aquatic, fargo, raising arizona, mystery men, waiting for guffman, emmet otter's jug band christmas, office space, adaptation, ghost world, magnolia, say anything, sherman's march, spaceballs, labyrinth, royal tenenbaums, howard the duck, once bitten, three amigos, the peanut butter solution, the worst witch, a christmas story, the lost boys, teen witch, the sword in the stone, the monster squad (wolfman's got nards), anything with bill murray
Television:
the soup (i long to be one of the laughers in the background), the office (british), reno911!, the state, strangers with candy, flight of the conchords, arrested development, curb your enthusiasm, unsolved mysteries, csi miami, cold case files, my so-called life, the hills, E! news, to catch a predator, extras, the colbert report, and wonder showzen
Books:
the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, a confederacy of dunces, into the wild, anything by david sedaris, nick hornby, j.d. salinger, chuck klosterman, and just about any memoir. i thoroughly enjoyed jane magazine (RIP) and i'm impressed with anyone who can make a 200-page book about poor grammar so captivating. eats, shoots, and leaves, bitches. my all-time favorite book is flanimals. more flanimals is a close second, and deep sea flanimals ranks third.
Heroes:
the sedaris family, the teacher who invented airborne, christopher guest, clementine johnson, stephen colbert, stagger lee, joe hatch, david cross, parker posey, mitch hedberg, thomas lennon, ross mcelwee, lauren conrad, ricky gervais, trey parker, people who see the similarities between hitler and madd, and anyone who knows the difference between it's and its.
