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*&%$!@#!!?!(*)#*^%(*^$&%$ UGH ARG!! Combichrist! This is the funniest thing i've s

About Me

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In 2002, Patton, this time fronting Tomahawk at the London Astoria, again exposed his penis and urinated on a bunch of photographers. Officials at the venue were horrified, but Patton claimed after the show that it was merely a squirting dildo he'd shoved in his pants before going on-stage. The admission seemed to satisfy the press. However, in a recent interview Patton was asked if it was real or not and was quoted as saying, "There's a dick. There's piss. You do the math."
with the content of the emails i get i have come to the conclusion that OBVIOUSLY no one reads the 'about you" section.
though bands do make sure to read about your 'music' section and try to promote their shit by saying "HEY my band sounds like this band you love" and they OBVIOULSY don't.
so i have been debating as to what to write in this section on my myspace page. humm let's see...
Formerly Elsa Bangz and a wrestling valet i am about 2 and a half classes short of a Classical Music degree from Vincent D'Indy in Montreal Quebec. (i chose classical music after reluctantly launching myself into Literary studies.) i have co-starred in and co-produced Burlesque Shows under the name Elsa Lee of The Coral Lees with my partner Seska Lee. though the revival of burlesque is quite on the rise, our troop did (for REALZ) differ from anything else available on the scene then and still does.
i am socially incompetent. i have never traveled overseas. i have a housewife complex. i have lived too many lives, but only in my head. i am going through an early mid-life crisis.
i am a fake geek. i wish i was a real one, but it's no use, i have the attention span of a 1 year old.
i have no gag reflex. my boobs used to be bigger. i have weird OCD. i fall asleep with the TV on. i use way too much scrub. my ass has barely any cellulite, which is good for an old lady i guess. i freak out every time the phone rings. i wish i could finish the books i pretend i am writing, and finally be respectable artist. i am scared of logging online. i'm a great weekend host but you can stay home. i wear the same jeans all the time and they have big holes in them (fixed that i got new jeans). i wanna mix the sperm of Maynard James Keenan and Mike Patton as an experiment to see what genius would come out of it. I have no interest in flirting. I have no interest in your band, tattoos, art, wrestling or self. I am only here for vain’s sake, to accumulate online friendships that I will never cultivate. ok that was rude, it’s un true. I do SOMETIMES care. If you’re lucky. Make it good and snappy.
I WONT add you on AIM/MSN/YAhoo and ALL SHILLS in whatever form they can come will be DELETED
tattoo credits go off to Dave Cummings (Pointe St-Charles tattoo Montreal QC), Guillaume Couture (Tattoomania, Montreal QC) and Steve Moore (Sacred Heart Tattoo, Vancouver BC.)
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My Interests

music. art. tattoos. burlesque. 24. porn. bass. pigs. bees. lamp shades. fuzzy stuff. ear plugs. magical pencils. weird smelling perfums. half naked skateboarders. good indy wrestling. flashy colourful things. hello kitty and chococat trinkets. Kiefer FN Sutherland. funny socks. strong bad and related funnies. road trips. singing bon jovi tunes.

I'd like to meet:

people who dont lie, play games. people who are sincere and trust worthee (if there is such a thing).
people who are willing to use the words/expressions:
TRUST
THE CALL
GLAMOROUS
FLOSSY

Music:

Tool, A Perfect Circle

Faith No More, Fantomas, Mr. Bungle, Peeping Tom or anything Mike Patton related. The Shit Terrorist is a genious above Maynard James Keenan and thats saying something.

Big Black, Thrice, The Bloodhound Gang, Social Distortion, Southern Cultures on the Skids, The Vandals, Rocket from the Crypt, Mindless Self Indulgence, Less Than Jake

Hard fi, Ours, Jonathan Fire Eater, Muse, Franz Ferdinand, Tricky Woo, Kaiser Chiefs, Art brut, Artic Monkeys, The Bravery, Pj Harvey, BRMC, Archive, The Smiths, Vincent Gallo, The Servants, Ok Go

Jamiroquai, Incubus, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Primus, Mr. Bungle

The Philosopher Kings, Liquid Soul, Marvin Gaye, Tori Amos, Ramasutra, Remy Shand, The Slackers, Earth Wind and Fire, Johnny Lang, Bill Witthers, Morcheeba, Bjork, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Tom Waits, Grinderman

Combichrist, Covenant, Front242, Ministry, The Swans, Tear Garden, Skinny Puppy, My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult (all this goth revival is sponsored by Mr. Christopher and my full 30g IPOD)

Mozart, Gustav Mahler, Wagner

Old U2, Indochine, INXS, Depeche Mode, Supertramp, Guns and Roses, Air Supply, Bon Jovi

Movies:

Grandma's Boy, V for Vendetta, Kissed, Heathers, Mallrats, The Cell, Quills, Therorema, Un Deux trois Soleil, Dazed and Confused, Saved, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, May,

Television:

24, Lost, House, CSI, Arrested Development, Top Chef

Books:

Preacher, American Psycho, Have a nice Day, and my magazine bible = WallPaper

Heroes:

Powder Toast Man and Chris Hero

My Blog

Faith No More - dont pretend to care, it's insulting.

how do you go about losing all your friends at once without a word why when you, yourself, were honest and clear about your social innadequacies. how do you go about calming a constant anxiety attack...
Posted by Valerie on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 12:51:00 PST

ranting for no reason and no one got me pissed really but it's funny nonetheless

let me say something...let me say something.... baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   alright...i gotta say something. i love this myspace gimmick it really flatters my ego but i forg...
Posted by Valerie on Fri, 14 Jul 2006 11:08:00 PST

LIVE JOURNAL LINK

bah i never find time to just update here cause its useless so here's the link to my live journal bitches. enjoy. SOUL EXHIBITION - live journal...
Posted by Valerie on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST