Beef profile picture

Beef

I am here for Serious Relationships

About Me

"Son, one time I had full confidence in a fart; shat all over myself." -Robert Englund, 2001 Maniacs................Hey, so if I don't answer your message or respond to a comment...its because I'm a lazy fuck. Don't take it personally.I am a "professional wrestler". This means that I get dressed up in a ridiculous outfit and roll around with other men wearing ridiculous outfits in front of many fans wearing ridiculous outfits; all of this is done while maintaining a strict regiment of heterosexuality. My penchant for rolling around with/on other men has allowed me to travel to such exotic destinations as New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware and even Toronto, Ontario. I've been wrestling since 2001 and have sold many many T-shirts despite having minimal athletic ability. I'd like to thank all the fans who I've suckered into buying my merchandise over the years and who will hopefully continue to shell out their hard-earned money in exchange for a T-shirt they don't particularly want but will buy just because I'm pressuring them to do so at intermission and they don't want to hurt my feelings.................When I'm not delighting crowds with my madcap antics and making my father proud by punching other men in the ass, I enjoy sleeping, eating greasy food, filing false insurance claims and throwing rocks at the elderly. I am now a proud graduate of Concordia University with a Bachelor of Arts in History. The piece of paper that accompanies this great achievement will look pretty on my wall next to my life-sized Buff Bagwell poster but will, otherwise, serve no purpose.................Fun Fact of the Week (updated every 4 months or so): I record Crossing Jordan on a weekly basis. Miguel Ferrer bitches.

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My Interests

Chalet BBQ, Jardin (Goo R.I.P.), Decarie Hot Dog, Marathons, Kam Do, Baton Rouge, Cage Aux Sports, Du College Pizza, Pizza Nikos, Schwartzs, Buffalo Bills, LaFleurs, KFC, Boustan, A&W, Harveys, Wendys, McDonalds, Burger King, La Belle Province, Kojax, Dic Anns, Jo Jo's, Dagwoods, Au Vieux Deluth, Noodles Express, Various Immigrant Pizza Places...and Assorted Cakes.In the U.S. There is Cracker Barrel, end of story.

I'd like to meet:

People who will buy my t-shirts

Music:

1st and 4most: Billy F'n Bragg, Kevin F'n Federline, Anti-Flag, Less Than Jake, NOFX, Lagwagon, Rage Against The Machine ------------------------------------- AFI (old school), Alice In Chains, Audioslave, Bad Religion, Beastie Boys, Blink 182, Bloodhound Gang, Boogie Down Productions, Brian Austin Green, Catch 22, Classified, Das Efx, Down By Law, Dr. Dre, Dru Down, DVDA, Eazy E, Eminem, EPMD, Face To Face, Flogging Molly, G. Love & Special Sauce, Gang Starr, Good Riddance, Gravediggaz, Green Day, Guns N' Roses, Guttermouth, Helmet, House Of Pain, Insane Clown Posse, John Tesh, Kevin Eubanks, Korn, Linkin Park, Mad Caddies, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, Method Man, Metallica (old school), Millencollin, Molotov, Mr. Big, New Kids On The Block, Nirvana, No Use For A Name, NWA, Offspring, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Onyx, Pearl Jam, Pennywise, Pulse Ultra, Rancid, Rehab, Sex With Furniture, Sharon Lois and Bram, Smashing Pumpkins, Snoop Doggy Dogg (old school), Social Distortion, Soul Asylum, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Strung Out, Sublime, Suicide Machines, Sum 41, Tenacious D, Tha Alkaholiks, The Beatles, The Dan Band, The Vandals, Twiztid, Vanilla Ice, Xzibit, Yanni

Movies:

I do not, under any circumstances, watch pornography. Never have, never will. I'm certainly not watching sweet dirty wonderfully vile pornography right now...nope, absolutely not -------------------------------------- 40 Year Old Virgin, 2001 Maniacs, A Nightmare On Elm Street 1 3 and 4 , Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Airheads, Anchorman, Arachnaphobia, Army Of Darkness, Bad Boys, Bad Santa, Bad Taste, Baseketball, Beerfest, Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon, Best Of The Best, Billy Madison, Blue Streak, Borat, Bordello Of Blood, Born To Ride, Braveheart, Cabin Fever, Candyman, CB4, Clerks, Club Dread, Clue, Cobra, Collision Course, Commando, Con Air, Cool As Ice, Crazy Fat Ethel 2, The Cutting Edge, Dazed And Confused, Dead Bang, Dead Man on Campus, Demon Knight, Deuce Bigelow, Die Hard, Diggstown, Dirty Work, Dogma, Eurotrip, Evil Dead, Fight Club, Freddy vs Jason, Friday, The Frightners, Fright Night, From Dusk Till Dawn, Gladiator (The Boxing Movie with Brian Denehy), Gladiator (That other movie without Brian Denehy that won an oscar), Goodfellas, Grindhouse, Half Baked, Halloween, Hard Rain, Harold N' Kumar, Haute Tension, Hellraiser, Hostel, House On Haunted Hill, Identity, Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason X, Jaws, Jay N' Silent Bob Strike Back, Jingle All The Way, Judgement Night, Kill Bill, Last Boyscout, Lethal Weapon, Long Kiss Goodnight, Lost Boys, Major League, Mallrats, Masters of the Universe, Maximum Overdrive, Monster Squad, Naked Gun, National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1, Necessary Roughness, Never Too Young To Die, No Holds Barred, Office Space, Old School, Orgazmo, Over The Top, Payback, People Under The Stairs, Pet Semetary, Point Break, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol, Predator, Pulp Fiction, Raw Deal, Red Heat, Resevoir Dogs, Return of the Living Dead, Rocky 3, Running Man, Saw, Saw 3, Seven, Shaun of the Dead, Slither, Snatch, South Park, Spaceballs, Suicide Kings, Super Troopers, Tango & Cash, Terminator 1 and 2, The Big Hit, The Faculty, The Thing, The Rock, Three Kings, Total Recall, Toxic Avenger, Tremors, Tresspass, True Lies, True Romance, UHF, Vampires, Van Wilder, Very Bad Things, Waiting, Wedding Crashers, Weekend At Bernies...to name a few

Television:

Arrested Development, 24, The Shield, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Married With Children, Entourage, The Office --------------------------------------- 1 vs 100, 227, 2 Guys A Girl And A Pizza Place, American Gladiators, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Bleu Nuit, BONES!!! (Not really), Boy Meets World, Chappelle's Show, City Guys, Classic Concentration, CSI, Curb Your Enthousiasm, Deal Or No Deal, Family Guy, Fran Drescher's new show where she's nailing some 20 year old dude, Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, Full House, Garfield And Friends, Golden Girls, Hangtime, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, Hunter, Jeopardy, Just The 10 Of Us, Law and Ornder, Law and Order: CI, Law and Order: SVU, Monday Night RAW, Mr. Belvedere, NBA Basketball and NFL Football, Perfect Strangers, Polka Dot Door, Prison Break, Saved By The Bell, Seeing Thing, Seinfeld, South Park, Spelling Bees, Supermarket Sweep, The Nanny, The Simpsons, The Urban Peasant, Titus, Today's Special, Touched By An Angel, Walker Texas Ranger, Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?, Wings, You Can't Do That On Television

Books:

Stephen King's IT The entire Garfield collection

Heroes:

K-Fed, Jack Bauer, Vic Mackey, Steve "Mongo" McMichael, Pennywise The Dancing (and child eating) Clown, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pinhead, Leatherface, Ash, GOB Bluth, Tobias Funke, Billy Bragg, Brandon Iron, PCP Crazy Fn Manny, Danny Cox, John Zandig, Fred Durst, Buff Bagwell, Puma, Mr. Dressup, Al Bundy, John Stamos, Bob Saget and to a lesser extent Dave Coulier.