MVP Yoda Action Figure profile picture

MVP Yoda Action Figure

Most Valuable Puppet

About Me

This profile was created using MY ASS. A toy I am. My head spins around backwards it does.
***THE YODA CODE, AMENDED***
1. Yoda, being over 800 years old, does not feel the need to log onto myspace every day or even every week. In fact, months may go by where Yoda does not appear. In fact Yoda is busy (wasting time). Yoda has a job (another time waster). Unfortunately the job of Master Jedi (albeit an action figure Master Jedi) does not come with a top-notch salary (because Mace stole the money that was supposed to go to our salaries to finance his cocaine addiction) and therefore Yoda must find other means to support herself (selling cocaine to Mace). Makes Yoda very busy this does.
2. Please don't ask Yoda to add you. Add Yoda yourself. When Yoda stops being busy and remembers this place, add you she will, unless you're a Sharks or a Yankees fan (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) then you can go jump into a Sarlaac pit.
3. Please don't ask Yoda to join your group. Yoda is busy and unfortunately cannot spend her time signing autographs or doing lap dances at your group meetings. Instead, ask someone like Anze Kopitar or Dustin Brown to join your group. They're nice local boys. Plus they won't have much to do once April rolls around (OH SNAP).

The Yoda Code:
YODA WILL NOT:

~Listen to your band's music
~Like your band's music
~Go to your band's shows
~Be friendly and hospitable with people who assume (incorrectly) that SHE is a HE
~Put up with politics
~Put up with spelling errors
~Put up (another) picture of herself in non-Yoda makeup
~Delete you (unless she's really bored heh heh)
~Not reciprocate any Holiday Greetings unless she has time or unless it's a holiday she actually celebrates in a joyous and happy kinda way (like Earth Day)
YODA WILL:
~Tell you about how much the prequels suck (correct she is)
~Send add requests on very rare occasions
~Practice bigamy by marrying Seth MacFarlane and Rodrigo Santoro at the same time. Eechiwawa!
~Tell you how much the Yankees suck
~Complain about eating habits of Rancor
~Beat you at Jeopardy
~Beat you at Trivial Pursuit
~Put up pictures of Gollum even though he's not a Star Wars character (Jar Jar should be stricken from the record and replaced with Gollum)
~Dance naked in the rain. No pictures, please. Yoda is no longer accepting applications for Sexy-Beast-of-the-Month-Club. The position has been filled:
Mr. and Mrs. Englebert Yoda request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Action Figure Yoda and Mr. Jar Jar Binks Friday, the twenty-second of April Two thousand and five at six o'clock in the evening Jedi Temple Coruscant

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


SEXY=

UNSEXY=

Music:

I hate this crap on the radio nowadays. It's shit. Almost all of it. Hurts my sensitive ears. What I do like (besides Max Rebo) is U2, classic rock, 80s, Rat Pack, musical theatre and lotsa instrumental stuff. Dig it.

Movies:

THE BEST: Braveheart, Sleeping Beauty, Monty Python anything, Muppet anything, Empire Strikes Back (duh), LOTR:The Two Towers (liked this one the most), Sixteen Candles, Princess Bride, South Park and my new favorite KUNG FU HUSTLE which should have won Best Picture at last years Oscars DAMMIT!

Television:

Band of Brothers is the best thing ever made on any channel in any universe. Besides that, History, Comedy, Baseball, Hockey. Um....yeah. Get many channels here on Dagobah we do not. Told that damn Luke to call the cable company I did, lazy bum.
SAM! WATCH TV! GOOD DOG!

Books:

I burn them. HAHA! Just Kidding! I make Luke do it for me. It's freaking freezin here.

Heroes:

Guybrush Threepwood. Gabriel Knight. Bella Goth. And this guy:

My Blog

quack quack quack

So the mighty ducks just won Mr. Stanley's used jock strap. Where the fudge was Emilio Estevez? I dunno. Maybe he was there. I've been drinking since 5PM Dagobah Standard Time alllllllllllllllll...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:21:00 PST

Jesus and the llamas

1.You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays? Uhh....Yoda and Jesus go out to dinner together? NOBODY pays. Our meal is comped through a fascinating combination of Jedi Mind Tricks, celebrity, and God ...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 04:25:00 PST

IS THERE ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE?

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Snicker. Dude. Seriously. He's on the Ducks. Check it. Ryan, it's you in ten, twenty, eighty years...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 10:10:00 PST

a long long time ago. in a galaxy far away naboo was under an attack

and i thought me and qui gon jinn could talk the federation in to maybe giving them a little slack but their response it didnt thrill us they locked the door and tried to kill us but we escaped from t...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 09:51:00 PST

AVASTAHOYARRAYEAYEAYE

Talk like a pirate day it is. And talked like a pirate today I have not. Luke, spank me you must. Last year, drunk I was and stumbling through Vons looking for key lime pie with one eye (the othe...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 09:46:00 PST

Help I'm an addict....

"The Anaheim Ducks begin their preseason schedule on Monday at 7:05 p.m. against the Los Angeles Kings at the Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim."  IT'S ABOUT FREAKIN TIME  ...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 05:35:00 PST

akljsdfkljaskdfjklasdjfkjasdkfjaksdfjkasdl. Exactly...

Dude. The Temple sent me on a goodwill tour to recruit new Jedis to...ah fuck that. Wanted to try out Asian alcohol I did. Some pictures for you I have. Me in Shanghai this is. Only a four-star...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Sat, 01 Jul 2006 10:26:00 PST

Vin Diesel paints the M's on M&Ms.

Vin Diesel uses moose scented deodorant to attract "horny" women. Vin Diesel's eyebrows are home to more than five generations of white lice. The original Children's Television Workshop pilot for Sesa...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

And now for something completely different

Detective Michael Chiklis was in my parent's house. And he had to leave due to some big case involving a cross-dressing hemophiliac Frodo. I wanted to come to, but he wouldn't allow it. I resiste...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

royale wit cheez

Out of work early. HAHA! Seven pages of people who want to be 'friends' with Yoda. Going back a month or so. Bah. Can't be bothered to make new friends. Reached my breaking point. Someday soon I'll ap...
Posted by MVP Yoda Action Figure on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST