Brian Vermouth

I've shit my pants about 7 times in 5 years, once at my current job and a couple times on tour. At a rate of shitting my pants 1.4 times a years I'll have shit my pants 80 times by my 80th birthday. When I was on tour with Death by Stereo I got real sick and I was throwing up alot. We were in Cleveland and I slept in the van while dudes stayed at somebodys house. I was in the backseat and woke up to throw up and their was not slowing it down. So I pushed the back door of the van open to throw up. I threw the back door open so hard it hit the trailer on the van and flew back and hit me on the roof of my head. The door hitting me pushed me back, I managed to throw up out the back but somewhere in trying to not throw up on myself/the van I shit my pants. The van was parked by this small park, so I got bottom less and cleaned up. This old couple in matching track suits saw all of this. The gross part is when you shit your pants is that your shit itself is really hot on your inner thighs.