give yourself a present
#1 OUT NOW
Pro-printed A4 magazine, 52 pages b/w with full colour gloss cover.
TEXTUAL MOLESTER #1 UK/Europe: £2.50
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TEXTUAL MOLESTER #1 Rest of world: £3 Postpaid
(approx $6)
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Touched in this issue...
Anal Cunt unveil new direction, Bob Monkhouse: a candle in the colon, Ronnie Corbett exclusive, Top 10 man v. woman fight scenes, The Monkman Cometh (feat. Terry Nutkins), The Carcass reunion, Sbort, Entertanus, Baldy McShitfag's Movie Guff, Elephant Man's Revue of Things What Pertain to the Imagination, Dr. Hymen-Labia's guide to amateur gynaecology Plus interviews with
The Dwarves, Blood Duster, Kunt & the Gang, Gorerotted, Smothered Brothers, The Glee Club & 100+ new album, DVD, zine and show reviews
TESTIMONIALS
"Funnier than a 10 year old cancer patient finding out she got AIDS from a transfusion."
Josh Martin (Anal Cunt)
"Urinates on other zines. Your zine glassed me in the eye and said "stitch that Jimmy!" In an annoying accent. The reviews are great...and don't get me started on the interviews. You are an inspiration".
Metalshtorm Webzine
"10/10. I'd fuck it no probs."
Goreskin (Gorerotted)
"Your whole fucking zine rules. The reviews are funny, the interviews hilarious, the whole page with the funny covers and made up shit is urine-worthy (that is good by the way) and I shit-puked into my neighbor's cervix when I saw that Dan Lilker corpse photo of his pasty white-ass with that hungry Samoan lad who rules the kingdom of Utter Fuck. All quality, me likey like dead children in my bed. Keep up the quality shite ya cheeky ol' chap. Crikey, bullocks."
Large Gremlin (The Glee Club)
"Well its a cracking read. Me, the wife and kids howled with laughter at the stories and anecdotes...only one problem..not enough...not enough Rory McGrath!!!!!"
Neil, Tyne & Wear
"Best read ever."
Ollie (Japanese Hell Beast)
"Very cool and..sick!"
Markez (Poison Heart zine)
"Anyone who doesn't buy this is fucking retarded."
Matt Blanks (hAppY pAppY/Cephalic Carnage)
"I've only flicked through it, and I'm already disgusted."
Mafro (Debunk zine)
"This thing is so fucked up, I wonder what the old lady will think of it. "Look hon, there's my comic strip...right beneath the kiddie gang-bang article and next to the "Shane Embury = Hymen Abuser" pic...." This thing is fucking crooked, mate. Good job! The goddamn thing looks like the National Inquirer to boot! LOL!! What a piece of work...sheesh. Anyone who is too stupid to get this should have your dick kicked up your ass. "
Soiled Depends (Putrescence)
full article: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21226386
-5006009,00.html#
www.textualmolester.com
ORDER INFO
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CDs
ABSU - TARA UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
AGATHOCLES - ALIVE & MINCING UK:£5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
BIRDFLESH - NIGHT OF THE ULTIMATE MOSHUK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
BRODEQUIN - FESTIVAL OF DEATH UK:£6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
CATASEXUAL URGE MOTIVAION - NEKRONICLE UK:£6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
CEREBRAL TURBULENCY - GERM OF ERRORUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
CEREBRAL TURBULENCY - GRAVYUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
CRIPPLE BASTARDS - DESPERATELY INSENSITIVEUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
DEAD INFECTION - BRAIN CORROSIONUK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
DECOMPOSING SERENITY - LET US SHOW YOU HOW TODRAW BLOOD UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
EMBALMING THEATRE - SWEET CHAINSAW MELODIESUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
ENGORGED - WHERE MONSTERS DWELL UK: £6 / REST OFWORLD: £7
FORNICATOR - S/T UK: £5 / REST OFWORLD: £6
FRIGHTMARE - MIDNIGHT MURDER MANIAUK: £6 / WORLD: £7
FUCK THE FACTS / SERGENT SLAUGHTER - SPLITUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
THE GLEE CLUB - POWDERED DEER PENISUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £5
KUNT & THE GANG - I HAVE A LITTLE WANK AND IHAVE A LITTLE CRY UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
LIBIDO AIRBAG - MISS MELANOMA UK:£5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
LORD GORE - RESICKENEDUK: £6 / WORLD: £7
MACHETAZO - SINFONIAS DEL TERROR CIEGOUK: £6 / WORLD: £7
MANIAC KILLER - AMUSING ANECDOTES FOR THE DEPRAVEDUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
MORTICIAN FINAL BLOODBATH SESSION UK: £5 / REST OFWORLD: £6
NEUROPATHIA - GRAVEYARD COWBOYSUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
OXIDIZED RAZOR - LA REALIDAD SANGRIENTAUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
RUPTURE - CUNT OF GOD UK: £6 / RESTOF WORLD: £7
..
SPLATTERHOUSE / GRUESOME STUFF RELISH - SPLITUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
W.T.N - ROTTING IN PESTILENCEUK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
WACO JESUS - THE DESTRUCTION OF COMMERCIAL SCUMUK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
XXX MANIAK - HARVESTING THE CUNT NECTARUK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
DVD
BLACK SUN: THE NANKING MASSACRE (Region 1)
UK: £8 / REST OF WORLD: £9
GUINEA PIG DOUBLE FEATURE: DEVIL WOMAN DOCTOR / GUINEA PIG'S GREATEST CUTS(Region 1)
UK: £8 / REST OF WORLD: £9
VINYL
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SMOTHERED BROTHERS / PURULENT SPERMCANAL - SPLIT 7''UK: £3 / REST OF WORLD: £4
ZINES
Textual Molester 1 £2.50 (£3ppd world)