Textual Molester magazine profile picture

Textual Molester magazine

gypo gang sexed up my grandfather

About Me

give yourself a present
#1 OUT NOW
Pro-printed A4 magazine, 52 pages b/w with full colour gloss cover.
TEXTUAL MOLESTER #1 UK/Europe: £2.50 (free postage)
TEXTUAL MOLESTER #1 Rest of world: £3 Postpaid (approx $6)
PayPal is a 100% secure method of ordering .. via credit/debit card. If you don't have an account yet, sign up now at www.paypal.com
Other accepted forms of payment:
-Cash (in sterling and at own risk)
-Cheques (payable to L. Barker)
L. BARKER, TxMx HOME FARM COTTAGE, HIGH STREET, CLAVERING, ESSEX, CB11 4QR, ENGLAND
Touched in this issue... Anal Cunt unveil new direction, Bob Monkhouse: a candle in the colon, Ronnie Corbett exclusive, Top 10 man v. woman fight scenes, The Monkman Cometh (feat. Terry Nutkins), The Carcass reunion, Sbort, Entertanus, Baldy McShitfag's Movie Guff, Elephant Man's Revue of Things What Pertain to the Imagination, Dr. Hymen-Labia's guide to amateur gynaecology Plus interviews with The Dwarves, Blood Duster, Kunt & the Gang, Gorerotted, Smothered Brothers, The Glee Club & 100+ new album, DVD, zine and show reviews
TESTIMONIALS
"Funnier than a 10 year old cancer patient finding out she got AIDS from a transfusion."
Josh Martin (Anal Cunt)
"Urinates on other zines. Your zine glassed me in the eye and said "stitch that Jimmy!" In an annoying accent. The reviews are great...and don't get me started on the interviews. You are an inspiration".
Metalshtorm Webzine
"10/10. I'd fuck it no probs."
Goreskin (Gorerotted)
"Your whole fucking zine rules. The reviews are funny, the interviews hilarious, the whole page with the funny covers and made up shit is urine-worthy (that is good by the way) and I shit-puked into my neighbor's cervix when I saw that Dan Lilker corpse photo of his pasty white-ass with that hungry Samoan lad who rules the kingdom of Utter Fuck. All quality, me likey like dead children in my bed. Keep up the quality shite ya cheeky ol' chap. Crikey, bullocks."
Large Gremlin (The Glee Club)
"Well its a cracking read. Me, the wife and kids howled with laughter at the stories and anecdotes...only one problem..not enough...not enough Rory McGrath!!!!!"
Neil, Tyne & Wear
"Best read ever."
Ollie (Japanese Hell Beast)
"Very cool and..sick!"
Markez (Poison Heart zine)
"Anyone who doesn't buy this is fucking retarded."
Matt Blanks (hAppY pAppY/Cephalic Carnage)
"I've only flicked through it, and I'm already disgusted."
Mafro (Debunk zine)
"This thing is so fucked up, I wonder what the old lady will think of it. "Look hon, there's my comic strip...right beneath the kiddie gang-bang article and next to the "Shane Embury = Hymen Abuser" pic...." This thing is fucking crooked, mate. Good job! The goddamn thing looks like the National Inquirer to boot! LOL!! What a piece of work...sheesh. Anyone who is too stupid to get this should have your dick kicked up your ass. "
Soiled Depends (Putrescence)
full article: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21226386 -5006009,00.html#
www.textualmolester.com
ORDER INFO

All items are new (and sealed where possible). Postage included in price.
PayPal e-mail: [email protected]
SPECIAL OFFERS:
BUY 3 CDs, GET 1 FREE
BUY 2 CDs, GET TEXTUAL MOLESTER MAGAZINE 1 FREE!!!

CDs
ABSU - TARA
UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
AGATHOCLES - ALIVE & MINCING
UK:£5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
BIRDFLESH - NIGHT OF THE ULTIMATE MOSH
UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
BRODEQUIN - FESTIVAL OF DEATH
UK:£6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
CATASEXUAL URGE MOTIVAION - NEKRONICLE
UK:£6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
CEREBRAL TURBULENCY - GERM OF ERROR
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
CEREBRAL TURBULENCY - GRAVY
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
CRIPPLE BASTARDS - DESPERATELY INSENSITIVE
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
DEAD INFECTION - BRAIN CORROSION
UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
DECOMPOSING SERENITY - LET US SHOW YOU HOW TODRAW BLOOD
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
EMBALMING THEATRE - SWEET CHAINSAW MELODIES
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
ENGORGED - WHERE MONSTERS DWELL
UK: £6 / REST OFWORLD: £7
FORNICATOR - S/T
UK: £5 / REST OFWORLD: £6
FRIGHTMARE - MIDNIGHT MURDER MANIA
UK: £6 / WORLD: £7
FUCK THE FACTS / SERGENT SLAUGHTER - SPLIT
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
THE GLEE CLUB - POWDERED DEER PENIS
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £5
KUNT & THE GANG - I HAVE A LITTLE WANK AND IHAVE A LITTLE CRY UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
LIBIDO AIRBAG - MISS MELANOMA
UK:£5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
LORD GORE - RESICKENEDUK: £6 / WORLD: £7
MACHETAZO - SINFONIAS DEL TERROR CIEGO
UK: £6 / WORLD: £7
MANIAC KILLER - AMUSING ANECDOTES FOR THE DEPRAVED
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
MORTICIAN FINAL BLOODBATH SESSION
UK: £5 / REST OFWORLD: £6
NEUROPATHIA - GRAVEYARD COWBOYS
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
OXIDIZED RAZOR - LA REALIDAD SANGRIENTA
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
RUPTURE - CUNT OF GOD
UK: £6 / RESTOF WORLD: £7

..
SPLATTERHOUSE / GRUESOME STUFF RELISH - SPLIT
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
W.T.N - ROTTING IN PESTILENCE
UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
WACO JESUS - THE DESTRUCTION OF COMMERCIAL SCUM
UK: £5 / REST OF WORLD: £6
XXX MANIAK - HARVESTING THE CUNT NECTAR
UK: £6 / REST OF WORLD: £7
DVD
BLACK SUN: THE NANKING MASSACRE (Region 1)
UK: £8 / REST OF WORLD: £9
GUINEA PIG DOUBLE FEATURE: DEVIL WOMAN DOCTOR / GUINEA PIG'S GREATEST CUTS(Region 1)
UK: £8 / REST OF WORLD: £9
VINYL
..
SMOTHERED BROTHERS / PURULENT SPERMCANAL - SPLIT 7''
UK: £3 / REST OF WORLD: £4
ZINES
Textual Molester 1 £2.50 (£3ppd world)

My Interests

www.textualmolester.com

I'd like to meet:



Music:

Glee Club, The Zombies, Sun City Girls, Magma, Flaming Lips, Frank Zappa, Mutiilation, Cripple Bastards, Silver Apples, Macabre, Purulent Spermcanal, Dead Infection, Squash Bowels, Repulsion, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, Can, Yes, Dwarves, The Macc Lads, Nick Drake, The Fall, Os Mutantes, Captain Beefheart, Anal Cunt, Cro-Mags, Daniel Johnston, Television, Beach Boys, Pile of Eggs, Minch, Scatman John, Bad Brains, Slayer, Gentle Giant, Le Orme, Cherry Five, Devo, Wu-Tang Clan, NWA, Dr. Octagon, MF Doom, Shapeshifters, Ultramagnetic MCs, Mr. Blobby, Autopsy, GG Allin, Squarepusher, The Stooges, Venetian Snares, Darkthrone, Beherit, Burzum, Roy "Chubby" Brown, DRI, Lawnmower Deth, The Smurfs, Johnny Rebel, Gronibard

Movies:

The Holy Mountain, Spinal Tap, Cannibal Holocaust, Stroszek, Aguirre: Wrath of God, Braindead, Don't Look Now, Walkabout, Taxi Driver, Bad Boy Bubby, Mr. Nanny, Fantastic Planet, El Topo, Santa Sangre, J'irai Comme un Cheval Fou, Evil Dead, The Beyond, Wings of Desire, The Thing, Dellamorte Dellamore, Robocop, Deliverance, Billy Madison, Mad Max, Kwaidan, Faust, Blues Brothers, Paganini, Women in Love, Bartleby, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead, Dead Man, Oldboy, Guinea Pig: Mermaid in a Manhole, Des Morts, Ichi the Killer, Pig Fucking Movie, Goodbye Uncle Tom, Three Men & a Baby

Television:

Brass Eye, Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, South Park, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Fort Boyard, Peep Show, Real Ghostbusters, A-Team, Married With Children, SNL, Adam & Joe

Books:

Burroughs, Ellis, Ballard, Herbert, Lovecraft, Bulgakov, Schreber, Self, Kharms, The Metabarons, Viz

Heroes:

Martin Kemp's brain tumor

My Blog

ATTN webzines/print zines: promo copies of issue 1 available

send us your postal address/url and a review copy of TxMx will be granted....
Posted by Textual Molester magazine on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:33:00 PST

TxMx's "ABBO" pic provokes Aussie police scandal (no joke!)

full article: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21226386 -5006009,00.html#...
Posted by Textual Molester magazine on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 09:58:00 PST

Free copies of .1

Free copy of TxMx #1 when you buy THE GLEE CLUB - "POWDERED DEER PENIS" CD £5/$9 PPDhttp://myspace.com/hearingaids / http://myspace.com/thegleeclubFREE copy of TxMx #1 when you buy any 2 CDs...
Posted by Textual Molester magazine on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 06:51:00 PST

Interview with THE DWARVES

http://www.textualmolester.com/main/index.php?option=com_con tent&task=view&id=29&Itemid=35...
Posted by Textual Molester magazine on Sun, 09 Jul 2006 07:02:00 PST