Ray Devito profile picture

Ray Devito

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I'm a stand-up comedian, originally from Cleveland, OH.

Now I'm living in the ethnic friendly confines that is Queens, NY.

You may have seen me on MTV, Entertainment Tonight, and the Lifetime Network.

My CD '1647 Waterbury' gets air play on Ch. 150/151 on 'XM' Radio.

I've probably performed in your town before, and I'll probably be there again.

You can check out DVD clips and more on my website:

Insane Plea, one of my favorite jokes. Comedy Forum in St. Peters, MO

Comedy short I wrote, filmed and edited by Rob Paravonian

Here's me performing in Denver, Colorado; jokes included in this set include: hooters ad, confidence, chest shave, eyes, sea world, and many other hilarious jokes of mine ;)

My Interests

I'm a coneseur of life, not neccessarily a coneseur of spell-checking devices. Also I exercise a lot, and begrudgingly a sports fan.

I'd like to meet:

Does Alan Greenspan have a page on myspace?

Music:

Primus, Weezer, Beck, Jay-Z, Eminem, Beatles, Jimmy Eat World, David Bowie, Sublime, Bob Dylan, Fall Out Boy, Buddy Holly, Mando Diao, Nirvana, Kanye West, Beastie Boys, Jane's Addiction, My Chemical Romance, Allman Brothers, Public Enemy, The Used, A Tribe Called Quest, Wheatus, Green Day, Frankie Valli and all other music that doesn't suck.

Movies:

Big Lewboski, Scarface, Goodfellas, Better Off Dead, Tombstone, and the Jazz Singer; and pretty much anything w/ Edward Norton in it, that guy's good.

Television:

Family Guy, Curb Your Enthusiasim, The Sopranos, Daily Show, South Park, Arrested Development, and any show I'M ON!!

Books:

I admit I don't read much outside the USA Today Sports Section, but when I do I'll go through a kick where I'll a bunch of classics that I should've read in High School. The best of those: Catch-22, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Catcher in the Rye....I know I really went out on limb w/ those three, but I will say this the Jungle by Upton Sinclair not a fun read very long, boring, and deppressing! There I nay-sayed a classic that was responsible for the FDA.

Heroes:

the guy who when I was drunk and had no money, he bought me 2 BBQ Pork sandwiches in the parking lot of Froggy's Nightclub in Paducah, KY

My Blog

Road Story: Bring out the Septic Tanks!!

Road Story: Bring out the Septic Tanks!!  7/20/2007 "I like fireworks therefore I like Tennessee, since it's the only state that has more 24 hour firework warehouses than gas stations. If your...
Posted by Ray Devito on Sat, 21 Jul 2007 06:12:00 PST

Road Story: Recruited to beat my own ass

  Road Story: Recruited to beat my own ass5/23/07 This was a gig was a casino gig in Walker, Minnesota. I was actually on the casino floor, a side stage ten feet away from penny slot machines, n...
Posted by Ray Devito on Thu, 24 May 2007 04:08:00 PST

To my first Girlfriend, lets trade your explanation, for my manhood..

To my first Girlfriend, let's trade your explanation, for my manhood..2/1/07 High School Sweetheart, I had one, Katherine from Westlake, OH, and not such a romantic ending. After a couple months of d...
Posted by Ray Devito on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 02:28:00 PST

Ronnie Lott: Leave it all on the playing field

12/26/06 In 1985 Ronnie Lott did not want to sit out a football game, so he had the team doctor amputate his finger. That is tough! Tougher than me anyways because I played sports and would quit game...
Posted by Ray Devito on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 08:55:00 PST

V.I.P.

V.I.P.10/7/06 Never understood V.I.P. sections at nightclubs, suppose to be for important people, but it never is, it's just whoever spends the most time and money at the bar, and anyone getting wast...
Posted by Ray Devito on Sat, 07 Oct 2006 09:27:00 PST

Hooters Billboard

Hooters Billboard7/12/06 Not sure if youve seen these billboards on the highways, but they annoy the hell out of me, Hooters: Where everyone gets to hang w/ a Cheerleader! Hey awesome, thanks for imp...
Posted by Ray Devito on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 10:30:00 PST

Hypochondria & Cell Phones

Hypochondria & Cell Phones5/28/06 I developed hypochondria at age eight. During a family vacation to Niagra Falls, we went to the Ripleys Believe It Or Not wax museum. One of the displays were of ...
Posted by Ray Devito on Sun, 28 May 2006 01:01:00 PST

Appleseed 2006

Appleseed 2006 4/3/06 I think we all try to be good people, thats why its not cool to over credit someone for their good deeds, like Johnny Appleseed. Breakdown his life, Johnny was a loiteri...
Posted by Ray Devito on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 06:52:00 PST

Road Story: Is Greg Allman Still Alive?

Road Story: Is Greg Allman Still Alive? 2/15/06 November 2003, Roswell, GA, working the Funny Farm, I noticed an autographed picture of Greg Allman behind the desk at the Sheraton. Anyways, I'...
Posted by Ray Devito on Wed, 15 Feb 2006 03:14:00 PST

Censorship

Censorship & American Kids Some people believe Censorship in America is needed to protect the children, but break it down logically it makes no sense. The argument for censorship is that...
Posted by Ray Devito on Wed, 08 Feb 2006 11:26:00 PST