Linda profile picture

Linda

Greetings and Salutations

About Me

There are four distinct personalities in me: Linda, when I am working; Daisy, who is giving and kind; Betty, who likes to cook and clean (I fear Betty may be in a vegetative state or dead); and Peggy, who is lewd and viciously cruel. I am old as the hills, young as a shark pup; can be big as I want to be or smaller than a tiny flea's mouth; am wicked and evil, good and sweet; will cut you, tenderly heal your wounds and then throw salt in for some pain. The only things I can't tolerate are ignorance and theft. I love the smells, the sounds and the wind of the ocean. Those I love I love unconditionally. But don't get on the wrong side of me, as I lose all sense of humanity when protecting my space or my brood. I love rock music in its varying forms, and have also slept through the best of the best. To those of you who have shown me kindness, I will never forget you, and am eternally grateful you looked through the bloat of dispair and saw the woman within. To those of you who have treated me like a potted plant, may you be plagued with balanitis gangreous (the total destruction of the external genitalia, to those who have no access to a medical dictionary).... Yes, I am a mean, vicious witch. Favorite quote, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer."

My Interests

I like to watch TV... I am in mourning over "Six Feet Under", "Dead Like Me", "Sex in the City", "Queer as Folk", "Carnivale" and now "The Sopranos". I also like anything scientific (I actually subscribe to Scientific American, Popular Science and Discover magazines and read them. In my next life I would like to be a medical examiner or a brain surgeon. True life puzzles are my greatest challenges. I want to know why everything works.

I'd like to meet:

Ghandi to learn how to find my center; a true shaman to give me strength; DiVinci to pick his brain; the cast of "Dead Like Me" to thank them realizing for my kind of humor; Lady Luck with a huge winning MegaMillions ticket for me. Aside from these people, I have already met everyone I wanted to meet, some only for a moment in time, others that will be within my soul throughout eternity: My beautiful Sally, Boots and his beautiful wife, grandsons Bradley and Tanner; my father, sisters, brother, nieces and nephews; my friends Julius and JoAnne. The rest of you know how I feel about you, good or bad.

Music:

System of a Down, Pantera, Marilyn Manson, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourn, The White Stripes, White Zombie, Rage Against the Machine, Heart, Pitbull Daycare, Genitorturers, Lunachicks, Pink, 4 non Blonds as Linda and Peggy. Betty likes Michael Jackson's Thriller and Phantom of the Opera with Michael Crawford and Sara Brightman to clean and cook with. Daisy likes Billy Holiday, Joni Mitchell, Sarah Vaughn and Phoebe Snow, but she would.

Movies:

Pulp Fiction, Trainspotting, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Silence of the Lambs, Cape Fear (both the old and the new), Sex, Lies & Video Tapes, The Transporter, Ghost, Pretty Woman, Freaks, Thelma & Louise, Snatch, Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias. Again, it's the Gemini.

Television:

The original CSI, Alien, 24, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Dead Like Me, Weeds, Entourage, The Comeback, Queer as Folk, The L Word, Carnivale, Sex and the City, all the Law & Order shows, Lost and almost all the reality shows, even the Real World.... No, I don't have a life.

Books:

GEEK LOVE, which is far and away the finest book on human behavior I have ever read. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and RED DRAGON, which I am so glad I read before the movies, so I could enjoy every bit of the movies. THE PEARL, THE GRAPES OF WRATH, OF MICE AND MEN, all by John Steinbeck. The Vampire and Witch novels by Anne Rice; most of Stephen King; some of Dean Koontz; Dan Brown; Daniel Hecht, up and coming. Any well written forensic novels, Lucas Davenport novels, and thrillers. I also like anything about history.

Heroes:

My friend Julius, my friend JoAnne; Sally for her sharp wit and surprising responsibility; Boots for his compassion towards his family. SOAD for the safe journey leading my girls from the confines of "pleasant valley" to the possibilities of the whole world.