My penis is coming! |
Hey guys,Sorry I haven't written a blog in a while. The reasons why not are the following:a) lifeb) lazinessc) see aAlso, I got a fancy new IMAC, but for some reason, I can't use advanced editor and ...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:01:00 PST |
Whores, handbags, and IKEA: now with OMEGA-3!!! |
Here is the full version, as opposed to the rough draft earlier.Why am I writing this? Why am I dealing with such a cliche premise?Simply put, I feel that the blogs on Myspace are, in general, ...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:05:00 PST |
Sewth Effreekah, Paaht 3: Disturbin’ the Durbans |
The flight to Durban was shittaceous. I'm no fancy meteorologist with a degree from a community college, but the cross-continental air currents seemed as confused as the people. For most of the journe...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:26:00 PST |
Handbags and Handjobs |
No shit.I get tired of the same old ’men and women are different’ thing, but it’s inexhaustible.I bet you go back to the stone age, the first almost standing upright comic probably ...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Sun, 06 Apr 2008 07:04:00 PST |
TITS AND COCKS AND FOOD FOR THOUGHT |
I had a first date the other night and, back me up guys, there’s always ONE thing that fucks up first dates: women.Recently, I was on a date with a woman who showed up with big, fake boobs...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:43:00 PST |
While You Were Out Raping... |
For the record, I didn’t cheat. Over a hundred people wrote me with their suggestions, and not one of them picked both jokes. Although some came close. For all you poor-guessing losers out there...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:03:00 PST |
Sewth Effreekah, Paaht 1 |
"We've had quite enough of YOU!" The words came booming over the God mike, conspicuously ordering me off stage in front of over a thousand similarly confused audience members. Where the fuck was th...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 10:45:00 PST |
Lesbians, Lily Tomlin, and ’THE BIG SHOW!’ |
Hello loyal readers, I wanted to take a couple minutes to thank all twenty-four of you for your loyal support and to drop some knowledge on your blog-reading asses.First, I am working on a two or thr...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 05:27:00 PST |
sluts, lesbians, and fat bitches from Maine. |
I'm fucked up. I keep getting mad at stupid people. I keep dealing with lying sluts (see Katrina blog), drunks, skanks, groupies, wannabes, gossips, and the tragic outcome is the meniscus ...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:05:00 PST |
Project Runaway: The Amnesia Ex |
I am not much of a reality TV guy, but recently, at the behest of many of my friends, I tivo'd an episode of "Project Runway" on Bravo to watch Elisa Jimenez; the bizarre, beautiful, worn, alien, "spi...
Posted by Bill Dawes on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:58:00 PST |
