About Me
A performance of "The Mighty Dragon Song" at The Porter Cellar Bar,
December 2006. Filmed by Andy Cottle
Out on the streets of Bath with The Dragon Project
You can buy an MP3 of
THE MIGHTY DRAGON SONG
securely for $0.75 By clicking on the soundclick box below and following the links.
WHY THE MIGHTY DRAGON SONG WAS WRITTEN
During a period of unemployment, Ash got hammered by bank charges, wrote The Mighty Dragon Song and used it to win The Bard of Bath competition.
The story goes like this:
Once upon a time:
• Viking village making babies, eating food and having fun.
• Down comes a dragon - swallows the moon and sun.
• The Vikings feed the dragon bank managers and bailiffs.
• The dragon lies on its back for 20 years with stomach ache.
• When nature takes its course, they burn his ring so badly that the dragon coughs up the moon and the sun.
• Viking village making babies, eating food and having fun.
The End
THE LYRICS TO THE "MIGHTY DRAGON SONG"Cold it was when the dragon first came,
With a flapping of wings and a crackle of flames,
Our houses were burnt and our crops were all ash,
Raised to the ground in an almighty flash.For the seasons they have changed,
The seasons they have changed,
The seasons they have changed,
And we are weak and cold.So we called to our allies from far cross the sea;
The brave, the strong, the fierce and the free;
But this was the answer that came back to meThe seasons they have changed,
The seasons they have changed,
The seasons they have changed,
And we cant help you now Mate!The darkness came and he swallowed the moon
And all hell fell upon us from dusk until noon,
For wed hoped for the sun, but he swallowed that too
The BASTARD !!!And our seasons they have changed,
Our seasons are all deranged,
We only have light from our flames
And we are weak and cold.So we went to our wise men... said What shall we do?
And they gave us ideas yes they had quite a few;
But most were crap and the rest were all blue,
Cause they just couldnt get enough. They just couldnt get any muff !Oh such serious studious fools
No lass wanted to shag em or bear em a brood.
For the seasons never change.
The seasons never change,
The seasons never change,
For those who cannot laugh.Then came a young woman; yes Job was her name,
With a big spotty bottom and a wonderful brain
She said Hey boys I know who to blame
Lets get down to the city now lads Down to the city now.And down in the city in the sewers of wealth,
We found all those bastards who knacker your health
BALIFFS ! ! !
BANK MANAGERS ! ! !
(telly licensing too)
AND ALL THE OTHER BASTARDS who live in that zoo !
The ones who lock up your toilets when you need a big POO! ! !And we gathered them all together.Oh! We gathered them up into ten gallon vats,
And we rolled them up where the fat dragon sat,
And he gobbled them up, and then he spat
GO FORTH AND BRING ME MORE ! ! !So we brought him plenty more
And we rolled them to his door.For twenty long years he lay flat on his back
Clutching his belly as sick as a rat
But it hurt even more when the poor dragon shat
Cause the bastards burnt his ringYou should have heard him sing.
With a wail like a banshee he coughed up the sun
And then with the mightiest blast from his bum
The moon it followed soon-oh
The moon it followed soon-ohSo now with our day and our night fresh restored,
We are ready to reap all our worthy rewards
Our crops grow strong in the ash of his waste
And we throw dragon shite in our enemys face ! ! !Copyright The Mandrake Project 2005Disclaimer: If a fictional situation arose in which a mythological creature did appear on the streets of Bath, Ash Mandrake would not condone the feeding of Bank Managers to such a creature, in reality; as he believes that such creatures should be treated with kindness.
BARD TARGETS BANKS IN
POETIC FIGHT FOR JUSTICE
Article in The Bath Chronicle p3, 12 April 2007.
He may be a poet in the tradition of the Celts and Druids - but the Bard of Bath has a very modern foe.While his predecessors wrote of ancient battles, Ash Mandrake is waging war on high street banks.
Yesterday he took his protest poem about bank charges on to the streets of the city, much to the mirth of the assembled public.
Crowds of shoppers in Milsom Street gathered to watch him bellow The Mighty Dragon Song while wearing traditional bardic garb.
The poem, which won him the Bard of Bath competition, is a thinly veiled attack on bank managers, and tells of them being fed to a greedy dragon by their fellow men.
Mr Mandrake said he hoped his protest would persuade banks in the city to reveal what percentage of customers' debts were attributable to their own charges while also raising a smile.
[Comment by Ash. There are inaccuracies in the following section - nobody's fault, but there is a need for correction]"When I was unemployed, four separate standing orders for £30 went out of my account and I ended up being charged for all of them," he said.
"Suddenly my bank account had taken me to an unmanageable level of debt and my bank then refused to close the account.
"This followed more than six years of being charged full whack whenever I went a few pounds overdrawn.
[Comment by Ash: In fact, my JSA went in one day after the due date for my standing orders. Each of the 4 standing orders was for £1. I got charged £30 pounds for each, and then they continued charging me £20 each month because I couldn't find the money to close the account]
"I want banks to know that these excessive and immoral charges cause anger and distress for people who are on very low incomes anyway and they must be held accountable for this."
Via the on-street performance and his website Mr Mandrake is hoping to act as a mouthpiece for others similarly affected by the charges.
I want to hear stories from people whose banks have been brutal with them and put those tales across if they don't want to do it themselves," he said.
"Banks need to feel shame for the things that happen to these people after they hit them with these charges."
Mr Mandrake said he wanted disgruntled customers to email him and he would then compile a letter which they could send en masse to the banks urging them to reveal how much their charges had cost individuals.
"People can then know how much of their debts are actually caused by the banks," he added.
In addition to his poetic duties, he is currently trying to break on to the south west gigging circuit with his band The Mandrake Project.
