Dr. Nick - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hiii everybody! My name is Dr. Nick Riviera. I am a clinical doctor, rhinoplastologist, surgeon, bone-thingy guy, inventor, part-time janitor, and I'm also a drug dealer! Oh wait, nevermind that last one, whoopsie. You may have seen me on such television shows as "Wow! I Can't Believe They Invented It!" or, well, that's about it actually. I need to find work. There are many things that I enjoy. First and foremost, I love to make money for doing next to nothing! Hehe. I am very good at helping people develop a diet. Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon! And, you can brush your teeth with milkshakes (thank you Bart). And remember, if you're not sure if you should eat something, rub it on a piece of paper. If it turns clear, it's your window to weight gain!

My Interests

I love to drive fast sports cars, sleep with lots of beautiful women, perform operations, and make lots of money (not earn it, that is for suckers). Also, I like to sniff gas. Hey, I think I'll go do that right now! *turns gas on* Mmm. Hey wait, that's not gas, that's new car smell. Hold on a minute. *turns off gas, turns on other gas* Mmm, that's better. Pleasant gas...night night gas...

I'd like to meet:

I want to meet a wealthy man who is on dyalisis and loves crazy medical cures. Plus, if he's senile, he can't tell anyone about my poor judgement or lack of any medical knowledge, training, or basic skills necessary to functioning! Oh jeez, I just got another lawsuit in the mail. Let's see, it's for...oh boy, malpractice. What is that, the word of the day??

Music:

My favorite song is the one about how the body works. Come on, everybody! Sing along! The leg bone's connected to the...knee bone. The knee bone's connected to the...something. The something's connected to the...red thing. The red thing's connected to my...wrist watch

Movies:

I am a big Troy McClure fan. I remember him from such films as, The Revenge of Abe Lincoln, The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West, The Erotic Adventures of Hercules, and Dial M for Murderousness. I also remember him from such educational films as, Lead Paint: Delicious, But Deadly, Here Comes the Metric System!, Earwigs, Eww!, Alice's Adventures Through the Winshield Glass, and, The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot. Man, what a guy. Jack of all trades

Television:

When I do have time to watch television, I'm usually watching Oprah or Maury. Those poor, abused women. STOP TRYING TO CONFRONT ME ON THE SHOW! I also like many old TV show spin-offs with Troy McClure, like, Son of Sanford and Son, and, After Mannix.

Books:

What the hell is books? Oh wait. Are those all those big square things on my shelf? Oh boy. I've been using them as coasters and paperweights. Who needs to read anyway? When in doubt, just wing it. No one will be the wiser.

Heroes:

Dr. Jack Kevorkian, Martha Stewart, the people at Enron, people who don't sue, my brother Geraldo, stupid sick people, anyone who will give me money, Jasper, for letting me know that flammable is the same as INflammable. Man, what a country. Also, Waylon Smithers...ahh, if only I were as open about myself as you. I love you man.

My Blog

Hi Everybody!!

Hi everybody! I'm new here on MySpace, but I thought I would just say hi. I think I will have many more of these blog thingy's to come. I can ramble on for hours! Sometimes whe...
Posted by Dr. Nick on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST