Space Monkey - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I like to smoke weed and fly around space. I'm constantly playing with my balls. They're so fun! I like to go out as a vigilante, dressed as the Hamburglar and beat up bad guys with a frozen duck. I'm straight out of Compton's with a check cashing card, bitches. I fling poop. Eat my stool.

My Interests

Smoking weed, floating around space, playing with my balls, collecting chinchilla dip recipes, bananas, chaos, glory and watching the Bush administration being sodomized by a hippo one by one. Dick Cheney gets it twice.

I'd like to meet:

Hot human chicks, people who still give a shit, generally offensive types who can spew horrible, socially unacceptable things from the anonymity of an anonymous screen name and laugh their asses off about it. I'm sick like that, too. Equal opportunity sense of humor FTMFW!1!!11!1 Everything has a funny side. Everything.

Music:

Dirges, documentary soundtracks, Pink Floyd, Porcupine Tree, Mr. Funballs, I NV ME, showtunes, porno music (heavy on the alto sax and wah-wah guitar please!)

Movies:

Movie, hold stillie... I really don't care... just take it ALL, bitch!

Television:

Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama, Daily Show, Seinfeld, Space Documetaries, Bill Mahr, Weeds, and some other shit. The History Channel owns my face, too.

Books:

Lots and lots of different ones.

Heroes:

Gengis Kahn, Kahn from Star Trek, Ricardo Montalban, Tattoo, R2-D2, Yoda, other space monkeys, Bill Mahr, George Carlin, Edwin Hubble, that astronaut dude... ummm... Tom Hanks!, people who detest elitist yuppie snobbery as much as I do, Cheech, Chong, Jeff Spicoli, that little dude on the Zig Zag paper package, cows, Nikki Dial, anyone who fucks the Enron guys in the ass whilst in prison, whoever the reporters are who finally bring down the Bush administration in Nixonian fashion, VOTERS!

My Blog

Election Day Reflections

Well, here it is upon us. Election Day 2006. We can finally get all the juvenile, mud-slinging, character assassination attack ads off our TVs and radios. Won't that be a fucking relief?What does it s...
Posted by Space Monkey on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 09:38:00 PST

A Conflicted Society

I can not grow a plant or two of marijuana on private property for my own personal use and still be on the right side of the law. I cannot be in possession of marijuana without being a criminal. This ...
Posted by Space Monkey on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 09:49:00 PST

The Sociology of the Belle Meade Kroger

So I went to the grocery store this morning. It's Sunday as I write this. My wife is always intent on beating the majority of the after-church shoppers, so we went about the time most of them are stil...
Posted by Space Monkey on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 01:03:00 PST

The more you know, the less stupid you look Vol 1

So this uhhhhh whole Rapture thing, you know?Lot's of people believe it, I suppose. The Left Behind books have sold well. Never read one, never will, personally, but I am aware that they were popular....
Posted by Space Monkey on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:08:00 PST

Nashville Police Chief

So Nashville gets this new police chief in 2004. Ronal Serpas. He's not even a Nashvillian. Came here via Washington state via New Orleans. Not being a Nashvillian doesn't seem like it would be a big ...
Posted by Space Monkey on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 11:23:00 PST

Beware The Hairless Monkeys!

Humans are crazy. Your first mistake was ever leaving the trees. Lions and cheetahs and shit started chasing your little arrogant monkey asses so you had to learn to fight. That made you mean. After h...
Posted by Space Monkey on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 12:03:00 PST

SPACE MONKEY FOR GOD IN 2006!!

SPACE MONKEY FOR GOD IN 2006I'm up in the skyI'm friendly and loving if I like you and vengeful if you piss me off!I'd totally tell one guy to write down one thing and then tell another guy to write d...
Posted by Space Monkey on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 11:41:00 PST

Elitist Yuppie Scum

So, OK. I don't really understand exactly when the shift happened. Maybe it started in the 80's. It certainly was cemented in the 90's. But when exactly did going into debt up to your shit-filled head...
Posted by Space Monkey on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 07:33:00 PST

Free Weed!

I don't remember where I found this. I was probably stoned. Some of it is kind of wacked out, but it's a fun read. Peppered throughout the madness is some truth and common sense. Enjoy!***************...
Posted by Space Monkey on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 07:06:00 PST