Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) profile picture

Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years)

Oh sure, it was all free love and ukeleles until they developed a taste for monkey meat

About Me



Myspace Editor

Myspace Editor A Rapidly De-Evolving MonkeyBoy. A Pariah From The Isle Of Man. A Mystery Wrapped In An Enigma Covered In Anguish Sauce Inside Of An Anger Box. A Hooker With A Heart Of Gold. A Sullen Sociopath Drifting Towards Murder. A Happy-Go-Lucky Lad In A Five Dollar Suit. An Aging Drunkard With A Chip On His Shoulder. A Foul Mouthed Fucker That Would Crawl Over Your Dead Mother To Bang Your Sister. A Sorrowful Sinner Washed In The Blood Of The Sweet Pink Wiggling Baby Jesus. Your Dream Date. Your Worst Nightmare. Your Retarded Best Friend. Your Annoying Next Door Neighbor. Hater Of Hipsters. Lover Of Chihuahua's In Funny Outfits. My Name Is Legion. My Name Is Mud. My Name is Sir Basil Weaselteats. I Love You All And Wish To Have Carnal Time With Each Of You. Thanks For Stopping By. Now Piss Off. " ..Banana Barrage

MySpace Games

My Interests

.. My Chubby Weirdo Cats, Silent Movies, Carnies, Freaks, Educational Films, Ephemera, Flappers, Reading, Japanese Culture, Posessed Nuns, Fall, Hard-Boiled Fiction, Chili-Dogs, Kinky Nerd-Girls, Sexual Tension, Secondhand Stores, Small-Town Diners, Monkeys in Outfits, Old-School Punk Rawk, 20's,30's Crooners, Smartasses, Cloudy Days, Fruity Pebbles, Delusional Eccentrics, Nylons W/ Garters, Seventies Porn, Weimar Berlin, Klaus Kinski, What a Load of Shite.

Music:

.. .. .. ....Tom Waits, David Bowie, John Coltrane, The Fall, Sham 69, Dick Powell, Russ Columbo, Go-Betweens, Firewater, Throbbing Gristle, Swell Maps, Slint, Einsturzende Neubauten, Gene Krupa, Cab Calloway, X, Gary Numan, Klaus Nomi, Cliff Edwards, Jack Teagarden, 100 Flowers, Futureheads, Charles Aznavour, Moldy Peaches, Roky Erickson, Aimee Mann, Modest Mouse, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Nina Simone, Abba, Curtis Mayfield, Bjork, Chet Baker, Lou Reed, The Who, Billie Holiday, Fad Gadget, Minimal Man, Mistinguett, Tuxedo Moon, Nick Cave, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Belle & Sebastian, Mission of Burma, The Ramones, Blur, The New York Dolls, Kate Bush, Badly Drawn Boy, Ruth Etting, Captain Beefheart, Magnetic Fields, Lothar & Hand People, Pulp, Neutral Milk Hotel, Rasputina, Milla, Joy Division, Satie, Velvet Underground, The Stooges, Suede, Decemberists, The Shins,Nico, Annette Hanshaw, Elvis Costello, Weakerthans, Serge Gainsbourg, Esquivel, Patti Smith, Edith Piaf, Stranglers, Ian Dury, The Dead Boys, Nat "King" Cole, Louis Jordan, The Modern Lovers, Mario Lanza, Birthday Party, Marianne Faithful, Marlene Dietrich, Gogol Bordello, Vera Lynn, Johnny Hartman, Lee Wiley, Cold War Kids, Joan Jett (Runaways), Hank Thompson, Sharkquest, and last but certainly not least......... DEVO, DEVO, DEVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Movies:

.. Apocalypse Now, A Clockwork Orange, The Graduate, Quadrophenia, Happiness, The Evil Dead, Escape from New York, Rushmore, The Asphalt Jungle, Mean Streets, M, Freaks, Hedwig & the Angry Inch, Miller's Crossing, Dog Day Afternoon, Once upon a Time in the West, Dead Ringers, God Told Me To, Bad Boy Bubby, Grey Gardens, Picnic at Hanging Rock, Chuck & Buck, If, At Close Range, Barton Fink, Point Blank, Night of the Hunter, Midnight Cowboy, Day In The Death Of Joe Egg, Sunnyside, Nightmare Alley, Aelita Queen Of Mars, Laugh Clown Laugh, Alphaville, Judex, Danger: Diabolik, Kiss Me Deadly, El Topo, The Ninth Configuration, Ravenous, Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!, Near Dark, SANTA SANGRE, The Apartment, Badlands, Opening Of Misty Beethoven, Alias Jimmy Valentine, King Of Hearts, Wild Zero, Five Easy Pieces, Female Trouble, La Dolce Vita, Big Crimewave, Wicker Man, Last Picture Show, Valley Of The Dolls, Titticut Follies, Marat/Sade, Thin Man Series, Cafe Flesh, Leave Her To Heaven, Careful!, Jesus' Son, Saddest Music in the World, Glengary Glen Ross, The Reflecting Skin, Black Caesar, Hell Up In Harlem, Motorpsycho!, Liquid Sky, Woman In The Dunes, Solaris (orig.), Northville Cemetary Massacre, A Bell From Hell, Mother's Day, The Vanishing (orig.), Cabinet of Dr Caligari, Laura, Fight For Your Life, The Bicycle Thief, Fanny and Alexander, The Seven Beauties, Pandora's Box, The Blue Angel, The Hills Have Eyes, Orphans of the Storm, Eyes Without a Face, Last Life in the Universe, Greed, Prime Cut, Repulsion, Poor White Trash I & II, Abar: Black Superman, The Killing, Gangster No.1, Forbidden Games, Day of the Locust, Clean, Shaven, Celine & Julie Go Boating, Gun Crazy (Orig), Electra Glide in Blue, In a Lonely Place.

Television:

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Strangers with Candy, Sopranos, Oz, The Shield, The Prisoner, Da Ali G. Show, Cops, The Avengers, The Andy Griffith Show, Freaks and Geeks, The Wire, Carnivale, Mr. Show, Homicide, Conan O'Brien, Antiques Roadshow, Firefly, Pee Wee-s Playhouse, Deadwood, Rescue Me, Penn & Teller's Bullshit, Lost, Battlestar Galactica - New, My Name Is Earl, Big Love, Six Feet Under, Life On Mars, Weeds, Lucky Louie.

Books:

Wise Blood, The Sun Also Rises, The Stranger, The Wasp Factory, Carter Beats the Devil, Andrew Vachss, Goethe, Coin Locker Babies, Theodore Sturgeon, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Flannery O'connor, Farewell, My Lovely, Devil in the White City, William Faulkner, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, James Ellroy, George P Pelecanos, Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, Vernon God Little, Invisible Man (Ellison), Tolstoy, The Day of the Locust, Brothers Grimm, Jim Thompson, Journey to the End of Night, Deptford Trilogy, CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, Origin of the Brunists, Struggles & Triumphs (P.T. Barnum), Apocalypse Culture I & II, Monster Midway, Up in the Old Hotel, Tales of Times Square, Black Spring, Iceberg Slim, Vintage Scandal & Exploitation Magazines, Harry Crews, Chester Himes, Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay, Car Crash Culture, Almost Transparent Blue, Miss Lonleyhearts, John Fante, William Maxwell, Phillip K. Dick, The Conformist, Georges Bataille, J.G. Ballard, Baudrillard.

Heroes:

Flannery O'connor, Theda Bara, Liberace, Billie Holiday, Rasputin, Robert Mitchum, P.T. Barnum, Johnny Eck, Jim Thompson, Clara Bow, Louise Brooks, Lon Chaney Sr., Egon Schiele, My Dead Cats: Pasquale, Clutch, Scalpel, & Johnson, Carl Panzram, Lewis Carroll, Klaus Kinski, Federico Fellini, Diane Arbus, Edward Gorey, Anna Mae Wong, Hanussen, Nick & Nora, Coffin Joe, Greta Garbo, Weegee, Monkeys Who Were Shot Into Space, Sam Fuller, Guy Maddin, Henry darger, Sam Peckinpah, Marx Brothers, Billy Tipton, Tod Browning, James Whale, Wilhelm Reich, Dolemite, Gloria Grahame, Don Siegel, Charles Bukowski, Busby Berkeley, History's Pricks, Suicides, Tricksters, Freaks, Deluded Visionaries, & Insane Artists.

My Blog

To All My Friends On Shore...

Sailing the rough Ocean of Boredom and navigating the Straits of Ennui, I have been sorely lacking in  my Myspace duties lately.  I send this missive as a greeting to all I have neglected.&n...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 09:24:00 PST

The Emperor’s Lonely Xmas

So here's the sad truth....I find myself drunk and alone on Christmas Eve. I have no family....well I do but they're a Southern Gothic nightmare and i haven't had any contact with them in years. One ...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Tue, 25 Dec 2007 05:25:00 PST

Martin Scorceses Taxi Santa? Sleigh Driver? Christmas re-post

Forget It's A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, etc. The Emperor's all-time favorite xmas movie hands down is Christmas Evil aka You Better Watch Out aka Terror In Toyland.I'm not being a wiseass I...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 09:31:00 PST

Shoot That Poison Arrow.....Day 5 (PARTIAL POST)

Shoot That Poison Arrow.....Post 5THAT'S ME IN THE CORNER LOSING MY VIRGINITY OR "COATUS" INTERRUPTUSI'm not really sure if Reba was inbred. Her eyes were a bit close together, but with the monobrow ...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 01:49:00 PST

URGENT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Think Twice Before You Take A Dump In Your Yard This Sunday Morning! A Friendly WORM Reminder From Your Humble Emperor...... ...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Sun, 18 Mar 2007 03:04:00 PST

POOR INNOCENT BIMBO BECOMES THE LATEST VICTIM OF THE MIND-FUCKING SCIENTOLOGY RECRUITMENT TECHI

POOR INNOCENT BIMBO BECOMES THE LATEST VICTIM OF THE MIND-FUCKING SCIENTOLOGY RECRUITMENT TECHNIQUES! ...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 11:26:00 PST

Shoot That Poison Arrow.....Day 4

Shoot That Poison Arrow........Day 4The Countdown To Eviltines Day Continues...LOVING AND LOSING IN THE '80'S OR THE PITFALLS OF MAKING OUT TO GARY NUMAN. Believe it or not, back in the '80's your...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 08:48:00 PST

Shoot That Poison Arrow.....Day 3

TOWN WITHOUT PITYChapel Hill is a lousy town to be single in. If you're not a drunk or an indie musician you're fucked. Actually, you have to be both because I used to be a drunk and it didn't reall...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:21:00 PST

Shoot That Poison Arrow....Day 2

Shoot That Poison Arrow Post #2!Sometimes I think I'd rather have a rancid banana lodged in my colon than to ever fall in love again. Then valentine's day comes along to remind me that no matter how ...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 07:42:00 PST

Shoot That Poison Arrow....Day 1

Since once again I find myself an alone and bitter monkey as Valentine's Day approaches I figured I would post some of my favorite "love" songs over the next few weeks.....Enjoy you lovesick fuckers!!...
Posted by Emperor of The Apes (The Hard-Boiled Years) on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 07:21:00 PST