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KeiTh

I am here for Friends

About Me

I was about 12 when I happened into the neighboring town of Scrooby. A church service was in progress, which astonished me by its fellowship and its lack of ritual. Time and again I returned, drawn to the congregations fervor for reform. By the age of 17 I was a fully committed member, sharing the radical idea of separating from the official Church of England - a dangerous decision, for Separatist leaders were hunted and imprisoned.
In search of new challenges and the big bucks, I entered the service of the Duke of Milan, abandoning my first commission in Florence, "The Adoration of the Magi." I spent 17 years in Milan, leaving only after Duke Ludovico Sforza's fall from power. It was during these years that I hit my stride, reaching new heights of scientific and artistic achievement.
Anxious to combine the themes of personal transformation found in the works of Arthur Rimbaud with the politics of Karl Marx, I joined the French Communist Party in 1927, from which I was expelled in 1933. During this time, I survived mostly off the sale of paintings from my art gallery.
In 1933 I appeared in several of the Lone Star westerns featuring young John Wayne, alternating between heavies and comedy roles. Wayne is among the many cowboy stars who credited me with giving them valuable acting tips in their formative days.
My Russian language proficiency was described by all the Russian witnesses as borderline coherent, but Russians in general are highly critical when characterizing linguistic abilities. Russians who encountered me when I first arrived in Moscow unanimously recalled that my Russian was incoherent beyond basic phrases such as, "I need a fork."
In 1964, I ran and was elected to the New York State Legislature. I then ran as the Democratic candidate for New York's 12th District congressional seat and was elected to the House of Representatives in 1968. I defeated Republican candidate James Farmer, to become the first African American woman elected to Congress.
I was convicted of the murders of Steven Parent, Abigail Folger, Wojciech Frykowski, Jay Sebring, and Sharon Tate at the Tate residence on August 8, 1969, and also of Leno and Rosemary LaBianca at the LaBianca residence the next night. Sentenced to death on October 21, 1971, I escaped execution when the California Supreme Court's People v. Anderson decision resulted in the invalidation of all death sentences imposed in California prior to 1972.
During my short speed skating career, I won three World Allround Championships and four World Sprint Championships. I three times broke the 1,000 metres world record, twice in the 3,000 metres, and once each in the 1,500 metres and 10,000 metres, and I broke the points world record in both allround and the sprinting distances. I finished my speed skating career by finishing second behind Hilbert van der Duim at the 1980 World Allround Championships in Heerenveen.
Near the end of 2002, I was the first celebrity to get Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher. Also, I became the first celebrity and the first victim to appear on the show more than twice. During my first appearance, Ashton Kutcher's crew members, disguised as IRS authorities, seized my properties in Los Angeles, California, Orlando, Florida, and Memphis, Tennessee, because I did not pay more than $900,000 in back taxes. Three episodes later, I set up singer Kelly Osbourne, as a revenge for being laughed at by her during the 2003 American Music Awards. I have also appeared on Saturday Night Live, where I spoofed Ashton Kutcher and Punk'd by tricking rapper 50 Cent, played by Finness Mitchell.

My Interests



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Books:

William S. Burroughs

David Foster Wallace

Don DeLillo