Asparagus King profile picture

Asparagus King

I am for Asparagus !

About Me

I love to hunt for asparagus, and I also like appraising asparagus and stuff.

My Interests

Drinking Clubfoots. Hanging with my fans, looking separate directions with my eyes. Keeping quiet and smiling a lot. I like to travel and think about asparagus. I am also partial to crawling back in the sleeper and drinking a little buttermilk! Don't mess with me, cuz I have sharp, sexy corners, and I Love Wood.

I'd like to meet:

All asparagus lovers, Everyone that is willing to submit to my hypnotic gaze, or can get me some work!

Music:

I got an ear for it.... one ear that is...Zwol is my personal favorite. I'm so Green!

Movies:

Haven't been in any yet, but I am always looking for work. I can act my ass off, and I did, as you can see. I am trying to break into the porn industry. My back is made of rather hard wood. I am also covered in latex, and you know that is HOT!

Television:

I starred in a few campaign commercials back in 1982. I would love to star in my own sack race!

Books:

"In Search Of The Wild Asparagus" by Roy Lancaster "Stalking The Wild Asparagus" by Euell Gibbons "The Talking Asparagus" by Nipper McPherson "Asparagus Christ: An Overview" by Tray Ortiz

Heroes:

Walter Zwol, Rock God of Asparagus! Moni, #1 Fan of Asparagus

My Blog

Home for Christmas

I will be away from my space for a week or so, as I am going home to Colorado for some crazy merriment! Don't forget to eat your asparagus during the Holidays. See you after Christmas, and have a grea...
Posted by Asparagus King on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 05:00:00 PST

my damn map!

Alright, I see there are still some of you that still have not signed my map yet....if you are one of them, I beg of you to do it NOW! I got this brand new, super cool, extra special haircut just for ...
Posted by Asparagus King on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 08:33:00 PST

RIP Hughie-we will miss you

With great sadness, we must announce the passing of our friend, Hughie Thomasson. Hughie died unexpectedly late Sunday night of an apparent heart attack at his home in Brooksville, Florida....
Posted by Asparagus King on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 01:06:00 PST

Gathering Of The Vibes!

Tomorrow is the first day of The Gathering Of The Vibes Festival in Bridgeport, CT. Anyone that is going, feel free to stop by and take a picture with me. It will be a blast, and be safe, and have fun...
Posted by Asparagus King on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 05:51:00 PST

Bellstock!

Yes, it's that time again! Bellstock! We will be there tomorrow until Sunday, posing with all our friends, and wallowing in 3 feet of beer. Get your asses up there and check out the madness!
Posted by Asparagus King on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 05:34:00 PST

Stonehenge Festival & Hawkwind in Allentown, PA

I will be attending both events, so stop by and say hi! 
Posted by Asparagus King on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 06:44:00 PST

Happy Easter!

Have a Happy Easter everyone!
Posted by Asparagus King on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 06:23:00 PST

new appearance!

I will be at the Heaven And Hell show tomorrow night (3/30) at Radio City Music Hall, NYC. If you happen to be there, don't be shy!
Posted by Asparagus King on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:39:00 PST

Langerado!!

I am currently at the Courtyard Marriott in Weston. Everything is swell. Hails Asparagus!!
Posted by Asparagus King on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 01:04:00 PST

I will be away from 3/2 to 3/13!

I am leaving today for sunny south Florida. I plan to be photographed often, terrorize the beach, and of course go to the Langerado Music Festival next week. Until then, keep the asparagus firm and hi...
Posted by Asparagus King on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 07:50:00 PST