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The Hoff

1) I am a superior male as a result woman adore me. 2) I'll kick your ass!

About Me

NOTICE : The Hoff is very selective, even though he wants to add so many of his loyal obsessive fans, he does however need to uphold his uncompromising stature. Only special fans will be granted access to his realm of knowledge & self love adoration. strong

To all my friends, welcome!

Ladies, I will start loving you soon. xxx.

This is a true life encounter and insightful look into the everyday life of The Hoff, he is also known as Time magazine's "Man of the Year"
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Interviewed & Published by Judy Jackson - Time Magazine
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Day 2 - "Man on a mission"

Hoff opens his door and hears the sound of female playful cheering. This intrigues him. The sound is coming from the backyard, right next to his golf course. A decision is made to inspect as he collectively strides over whistling 'Born to Wild'. Beautiful people laughing in his estate is not an uncommon experience. A rush of excitement comes over him as he sees his very own sponsored Swedish female volleyball team, play fighting in the heated pool. The whole team is out to impress, as they wear 'The Hoff is Boss' bikini bottoms. He smirks as he recalls the effects caused by the underwater sound system. "Good vibrations" he thinks to himself. But it's no time to play as he's a badass on a kickass mission!

On his way to the superstyle kickass automobile he gets stopped by another team of groupies. They recognised his presence by the sound of his badass boots and irresistible sent of passion (Hoffsteen 1985 - Lure woman, for real men) Pleading for his undeserved attention, they request a bouncing competition on the trampoline as they pull on his huge silver belt buckle. Hoffsteen resists with the remark "Wait here for daddy to come home" however still takes a 20 minute break before moving on.

*fast forward*

Now in his car, the V8 beast is awaken. It's purrs like a lion on heat. The tape deck is turned on, already tuned to funk. His car has an expensive smell to it, a mix of leather upholstery and chocolate essence. The Hoff has another panic attack as he realises he is just too good looking, spotting himself in the rear view mirror. Calming himself, he switches to action mode."Hoffsteen! Youre a freight train on speed about to crush a bunny on the rails" He reconfirms getting ready for some ass kicking....

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My Interests

The Hoff on Hobbies: "Being irresistible to woman & setting the standard for people like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt etc. See everyone needs a role model. I polish & wax the only thing worthy of my time. She would be my kickass Pontiac Firebird V8. I do so with no shirt on. Ha! Just wanted to give you ladies something to dream of really. And last but not least I master the perfect art of Hoff love making ;) Ps: Paris stop calling me, your getting annoying."

The Hoff on ideal night out:
"Fine ladies, fine wines followed by a cruise on my yacht and ending with a moonlight beach walk on my private island. But seriously it's what you make of it."

Miss Jackson: Anything else you would like to add?
The Hoff: "Hmmm, one day pershaps go to a glamour party wearing a paper bag over my head and see how many woman still pass out in my presence?!"


Sport

I've already perfected everything in life that is achievable; however I will mention that I 'practice' things in order to make lesser mortals relate to me. Yes, I am the Hoff, and my body is so fine, I make Greek gods jealous. So I'll humour you with things like, I'm perfecting my kickass fighting style. I exercise my hands and body on woman.... regularly. When it gets too much I run..... from my obsessive fan club etc."

The Hoff on watching sport:
"My sponsored Swedish Volley ball team & woman jelly wrestlers. Mostly I get watched by others due to my charm, wit and sex appeal"
Diet "I'll nibble on anything, including you ;) No-no just teasing your not worthy of the hoff, BUT if you were, I would do things to your body that would normally be only available in your wildest fantasies. x that was a kiss to my fans! Anway I rarely cook, but do spitroasts!? Yeah I can pretty much do all meats. haha - no seriously, if I was too cook woman will never leave me in peace."
Travel "I travel all the time, across the globe to kick some crime lords ass. My dream holiday would be spending hot summer nights with my clone ;) It's hard to determine what holdiay would be memorable when you live a life of luxurious bliss everyday."
Art "Body Paint & posing for sculptures"

I'd like to meet:

"No one! is worthy. If I died and got re-incardinated and somebody else became the old me, I would like to meet myself. Psst, but miss come see me after ;)"

Music:

"Hoff's lovemaking groans - the remix by Me.
My rating: *****
Different decibel levels, good to get any lady hot n flustered - The Hoff Guarantee, if not, see me xxx" The Hoff on music, again:
"Love making is a huge passion of mine..... it all sounds like music to me. I have a very diverse taste. This will include: Pleasuring to R&B, house, well composed classical, hard rock & of course Barry White (use to invite him to my private parties) etc."

Movies:

New Music Video From David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff - "Jump In My Car"



Who is your daddy? The Hoff is your daddy.

Miss Jackson: "What is the last movie you saw?"
The Hoff: "Well that would have to be Knightrider Delux My rating: ***** 5 Stars, Outstanding, Perfect, Awesome & Inspiring."

Miss Jackson: "What would be one of your favourites?
The Hoff: "I should slap you for your ignorance! Knightrider Delux the set! Viewed in one of my pool cinemas.

Television:

Miss Jackson: "Err yes apologies, what about television?"
The Hoff: "Baywatch of course!"

Books:

Miss Jackson: "Do you read Mr Hoff?"
The Hoff: "I do as a matter of fact, *grin* the last book I read/wrote is the Karma Sutra redefined version. My rating: *****
Was a few flaws in it originally, it's now perfect.
Too busy being a fantasy for others to read anything else."

Heroes:

Myself, The Hoff Hoffsteen - defending all for which justice stands for & pleasing woman in the name of love.

My Blog

Day 1 - "The Night After"

The Hoff opens his eyes and looks up at his Michael Angelo's painted ceiling (Called the creation of Hoff). He has a slight headache from last nights par-tay. It hardly bothers him as he's a har...
Posted by The Hoff on Thu, 13 Jul 2006 06:10:00 PST

How to make woman ADORE you, tune in and learn - The Hoff.

Here is one of my pick up lines, it always works:   The Hoff squeezes his well defined bum cheeks together and arches his muscular back ready to pounce like a tiger on heat. Prrrr!   Lots o...
Posted by The Hoff on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 04:57:00 PST

Hoff's thoughts to meditate on:

 Children:  The Hoff is probably your daddy. Commitment I'm commited to being A) a stud, B) a stud. It's not my fault though.: Communication: Well I'm on here aren't I??? Drugs: ...
Posted by The Hoff on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 04:54:00 PST