I'd like to meet:
WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET? Someone I'd delete my Myspace Account for.
Someone who can walk WITH me. not behind, infront, or AGAINST me.
Someone who isn't afraid of looking 'dumb' for being inlove. Because he values his happiness more than his pride.
If you think there's competition in love,
I bet you're still single.
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I had a love fantasy once..
I even wrote about it once..
I even lived it...once.
from the rooftop downtown standard..
to the rooftop, laguna
.. I'm finally finding who I am and where I want to be in life. I've learned you can't love someone who doesn't love themselves.. So here I stand with more lessons learned and an eager heart. Through each year I learn more about the MALE SPECIES haha.. and accept them for what they give to women.. but more of what they lack.
Some things/people are just INCAPABLE OF CHANGE!!
It's just hard not to believe those promising words you crave from him.. Along the way, learning there is only so much aid you can offer someone.. the rest is up to them if they choose to follow through.. And when they don't follow through.. the disappointment leaves a footprint on my heart.
I've had a long track record of boyfriends, which can be seen as a positive because I know a lot of what I want in a guy. Most important what I DONT want. I'll no longer settle or stay in my comfort zone. If he is the right one, it wont be considered settling anyways.
I want someone who has an interest in ME and not every sleezy whore throwing themselves at them because of WHO they are. It's not a secret that you're an insecure community whore. I WANTED to have amazing passion with him.. I WANTED massive affection.. to not keep our hands off each other.. spontaineous plans to keep the excitement.. Now that I don't live in fantasy land, I can do things for myself, because I deserve it.
Like every lady.. he must make me feel like a woman because he is a MAN... I've never been swept off my feet.. I've never had the fairy tale..
Now I know it's because he hasn't been the one.
TOO MANY SHADY LADIES ON THIS FUCKING SITE....
So IF I settle down in the future, don't FUCK with my man. IF i find him, find your own.
Or do what most of my EX friends do, and choose.. which fits you most?
a) go for my ex boyfriend(s) cuz I'm definitely done with them. And the best you can do is have my used goods.
b) continue a fake friendship with me after scamming with my man, then denying it TO MY FACE. . . wouldn't you like to know who ratted your ass out? trust.no.bitch.
c) keep it a sealed secret, so you think, cuz he told you to. then once you think about it more, you realize a LOT of guys you hook up with tell you that.. coincidence? hmmm..
let me help you out,
you're the town moped.
no one wants to admit they had to use a moped, but if they gotta get somewhere, they'll take what they can get. So shhhhh don't tell anyone..
Just smile to yourself as you look at the roster
.. add up your score..
and realize you've done the whole team.
Way to go coach! Get to a doctor.
OR
d) ALL THE ABOVE.
a trick question for a trick bitch.
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feeling a little negative?
Do Not Read The Following Unless you really want it. so many of you write me about this topic.. friends doing your boyfriend.. hey i've learned that there's nothing you can do about it! With EVERY end of a relationship, I lose a best friend. Repeat: EVERY. and BEST.
I live it, I hear about it happenin to others, and used to dwell on it. Cuz it hurt me that bad to be lied to for so fucking long.. told I'm crazy and MAKE SHIT UP. had me believe in was trippin.. when the whole time IT WAS FUCKING TRUE. IM SICK OF biting my tongue.. I'm sick of shutting up. Fuck that I have a mouth and I'll use it cuz you never hesitated not to use yours~
Why SHOULDN'T I write about it?? Why SHOULDN'T I vent on Space about it? Fuck. It's been so public for so long- now that I finally have confirmation, lets all talk about it together on this powerful tool we call the internet.
my friend. my dude. think its ok. i still cannot fathom the reasoning behind it all. but i don't need to understand what went wrong in their head to actually thinking it was ok to fuck with my head and fuck w/ my dude. because if I could understand a mentality like that, then I would be just like them. Thank God it baffles me cuz It shows a lot about who I am.
How bout an Im sorry? How bout you should shut ur trap cuz i CAN get mad. No, how bout just push me out, take everything from under my feet.. destroy what I built. take her away from me.. take him away from me. I don't give a fuck what you think I've done to JUSTIFY what you did. No Im not perfect. FAR FROM IT. Does that make u sleep better?
I've lost so many because I let it happen, selfishly you watched it all eat at me and slowly kill me.
Well now, how am I getting EVEN? I'm walking away, letting go, and allowing myself the freedom to love again w/out holding back.. yah right that'll take a while cuz you FUCT my head a lil too much to even try this shit over. I'm gonna get even by finding happiness.. not by hurting the many many people who have hurt me, not by reciprocating their behavior with lies and deceit- I'm not wasting one more fucking day on it.
Your welcome. Time to get back to where I left off when I pressed pause on a real life before I got into this mess. I'm ready to press play before it's too late to enjoy life.
I'm smart. I WENT to college. I HAVE an AMAZING family. I LOVE PEOPLE. Fuck you for mamking me loose sight of that.
i thank the ladies who have crossed me, and stabbed me in the back- and to those of you whores who will soon( if not already) betray a fake friendship i once thought was real .. now I know you were never my friend to begin with. Just a filthy cunt.
IT WAS JUST ONE STEP CLOSER TO GETTING HIM BY BEING MY FRIEND. Well I'm fucking Single and you can have him cuz I don't need a "friend" like you. - cuz if its just getting me one step closer to truth.. it's one step further from something that wasn't real.
Yes I vented. I said what needed to be said cuz I'm not scared to.. like the sheep who only baaaaahhh. Have no personal opinions cuz ur too scared to be the outcast. All integrity and morals out the window if it doesn't fit in. HA. It's disgusting that you can believe they are ur friends when they are just your followers. I prefer reality, that's why I've never fit in.
So there, I elaborated for those who wanted more.
With that said, turn all the shit feelings you have by reading this cuz you relate to issues i've covered, and KNOW that only you can control your life and outlook. If you're bummed out over him or her, you are giving them that power over you. Do something for yourself and don't let them turn your day upside down. Sure it affects you and bums you out, but use it as motivation to do something different this time cuz feeling shitty and dwelling on it hasn't gotten you anywhere in the past! you got nothing to loose, so trying something different can only benefit you.. do what you want to do because YOU CAN!!!!!! !
DONE HIDING. DONE DWELLING. NO MORE ENEMIES NO MORE LIES. CUZ TODAY IS A NEW DAY AND TOMORROW IS A BLESSING.
I am territorial and will be the first to tell you how it is... Blunt is spelled
L-E-A-H and I wouldnt have it any other way. So if you don't like it, I probably don't like you.
I make my own footsteps. I don't follow yours.
I know I party and am a nutty drunk, but there's more to me than that. And someone who can see that will see the true me. I enjoy having fun drinkin with my girls, but snuggling up with a movie, candles, and my crush is the ultimate.
oh the train
LOVE MY LIL POP TART
i love alcohol, get over it.
FUCK CHIX WHEN U CAN HAVE DIX LIKE MINE!
Music:
WE ALL GO A LITTLE CRAZY SOMETIMES
Apple is my Tangerine.. Aisle 7
WE LOVE NATHAN!!!
I'm her firecracker!
The Juliana Theory, The Killers, The Faint, Muse, Phantom Planet, The Shins, Rooney, The Smiths, Jimmy Eat World, Saves the Day, Thursday, Something Coorporate, Coheed and Cambria, Early November, MAE, Copeland, Rufio, BRAND NEW, JT, Story of the Year, Taking BAck Sunday, the Used, Get Up Kids, Finch, Steel Train.. The Clash, Tom Petty, Dave, The Rolling Stones,
