Chris Michael’s Comedy Page profile picture

Chris Michael’s Comedy Page

I would tell the voices in my head to shut up....But they keep me company!!!

About Me

Welcome To My Page One And All!!!...I Am A Stand Up Comedian...Well Maybe...Most Of The Time I Am At least!!!...But I Also Do Other Things Too...I Am A Very Happy And Pretty Much Carefree Person...I know I Hate Me Too!!!...Which Is Weird Because, I Have A Horror Novel Coming Out Soon!!!... Don’t Worry I Still Write Poems For Blind Mice... But They Can Talk Normal, But They Only Speak Spanish, However I Do Not Speak Spanish So I Do Not Know What They Are Saying... But Between You And Me I Do Not Think It’s Very Good...They Can Be Really Mean!!!... I Am Also A Death Metal Singer!!!... Guess I Have A Very Dark Side Too...It Must Be Hidden Behind All Of The Colorful Balloons, And Shinny Lights For Me To Hear It!!!... It Is Called My Own Little World...It Is A Nice Place!!!...There Is This Strange Fear That I Have For "Baby Bottle Tooth Decay," But Yet I Do Not Have A Baby...Nor Even A Baby Baby Bottle...So I Do Not Know What That Is All About!!!... I Have Been Married To My Beautiful And Fun Wife Mandy For 6 Years Now!!!... But We Still Act Like We Just Have Been Married Yesterday...We Have Alot Of Fun!!!... With Our Cats That Act Like Dogs!!!... How Do You Say "Farfulnukulsun" Or Is It Farfulnkulsuton" I Forgot... We Live In A Small Town In Pennsylvania Now...Which Is Weird To Me...I Grew Up In Baltimore City, And I Am Use To Having Some People, Stores, Cars, Buildings, Etc. Around Me....Not Just A Bunch Of Trees!!!...Everywhere I Look There Are Trees, I Think They Are Plotting Something Against Me...But If You Say Anything Don’t Tell Them I Told You...I Hate Bunnies...They Are Cute But They Are Really Evil Furry Things...Flicking Pennies Into The Grass Makes The Ants Rich...But It Ruins There Environment Which Leads Into The Grasshoppers To Overtake There Government...So That Is Not A Good Thing Unless You Like Grasshoppers...Do you???...Sunshine Makes Me Sad When The Gray Clouds Are Happy...But Then The Sun Really Is Never My Friend Anyway!!!
Night of the Living Dead (1968)

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I LOVE ZOMBIES...I USE TO DATE ONE...SHE NEVER BIT ME, BUT HER PUSSY SMELT LIKE SHE WAS DEAD FOR QUITE SOMETIME!!!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:



Books:

“AFTER THE BATTLE” Is My First Novel That I Wrote...It's A Horror Novel Tho...So If You Like That And Want To Check It Out...There Is A Description Of It On My Poetry Page Just Click Here To View My Poetry Page!!!

My Blog

My Hospital Visit

First off I did not have a motorcade that followed me down the road... I don't even think we passed a car the whole way there... Plus going to a hospital in the "Sticks" is always a little scary... E...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Thu, 07 Feb 2008 09:34:00 PST

Beer runs with Granny

Growing up with my Grandmother was great. Not so much then, but looking back on it, it was a blast. My Grandmother was 5'1 and weighed no more then 80 pounds her entire life. But that women could put...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

I Thought It Was A Demon

I have always had a lot of patience since I could remember. Hell if I was any more patient and laid back, my ass would be on stop. My wife has a nickname for me "Her Poky Little Puppy". Most of my pat...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

Dumb Questions And Warm Beer

It was early in the morning, 4:15am. I really thought that it would not be a big deal. I needed more ice the beer was getting warm. So I grabbed the bucket and out the door I went. The ice machine wa...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

Got A Little To Excited

We were partying like rock stars that night Smoking, drinking, even getting into a small fight Bouncing from club to club in the city Then we found that blonde, that was pretty You two talking close,...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

I was not thinking

Wished that it was a zit I found Tried to pop it, just made a sound Unlike one that I have ever made before Freaked out, I started frantically searching for more Found two just below my balls, near ta...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

Bisquick Lump Face

I hate Bisquick with clummpy lumps in it  Neighbor's face looks like it a little bit Pale and dry before you add the water It is not going to look any better The way that it d...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

The Aftermath Of Easter

It happen Saturday night. Just before Easter morning. I got a knock on the door, and seen a bunny there. I asked him "how could I help you?" He replied "I have got some eggs I need to dye for Easter, ...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

How To Make A Freak Mad!!!

 My wife and I went to the grocery store yesterday...And I have to stay in the car...Since I have a messed up foot...And walking around a store like the one we were at would be harder then, a pri...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST

Raw Nipples And Strange noises

Ok...If you read my last blog, you know that I have a neighbor that is annoying...Well I can see them when they walk into the house...So I decided, that I would start going to the door...(every 5-10 m...
Posted by Chris Michael’s Comedy Page on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:39:00 PST