Les Dawson - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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I was born in Manchester in 1934 and rose to fame with jokes insulting my wife and the mother-in-law, a staple, if rather un-PC, type of British humour. I left the Army after my National Service and as I had had a short story published I moved to Paris to become a writer. What in fact happened was I started to play the piano in a brothel to pay the bills (although for weeks I thought it was nothing more than a cabaret club!)
My act was bright and breezy and went down well with most audiences (although there was always one or two where I died on stage, one time being when I had to follow two minutes silence in respect of the recently deceased club chairman!), but the act really turned the corner when I was engaged at a Hull club, and after a whole week of performances, I got drunk at the last gig, and came on bemoaning life, and slumped over the piano. 'I don't have to do this for a living, I just do it for the luxuries like bread and shoes'. On this my new act was born, but it didn't make too much difference until I entered Opportunity Knocks! in 1967 and won, I never really looked back.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Visit my website at http://www.lesdawson.biz/

and here http://www.lesdawson.com/

There is also a Les Dawson DVD available 'Comedy Greats' which was released in 2004.
Meantime, Here are a few old chestnuts for you to enjoy!
"I didn't sleep a wink last night, I kept getting this hideous, recurrent nightmare that I was an old sports car -the wife's mother had her foot on my throttle."
"The wife was sleeping like a log - she had her head in the fireplace"
"As usual she was snoring with all the rhythmic grace of a gastric bullock"
"I'm not saying the wife is ugly, but last Christmas she stood under the mistletoe waiting for someone to kiss her and she was still stood there at lent."
"I came from a very poor family - up until the age of fifteen I thought knives and forks were jewellery."
"I can't forget those days..I never had any shoes - my father used to black my feet and lace my toes up."
"The problem was I came from a big family in fact there were so many wet nappies in the kitchen there was a rainbow in the lobby."
"I once had a very upsetting experience in the army and that was the fact that I couldn't get up in the morning - I was court marshaled and the officer at the court martial said "Don't you hear the bugle?" I said No, they play when I'm asleep."
"My name is Les Dawson - that's a stage name actually I was christened Friday Dawson because when my father saw me he said to my mother 'I think we'd better call it a day'."
Tuesday afternoon last week the local vicar called to say that he was leaving the parish the wife said we'll all be sorry to see you go reverand- you've done a lot for us because none of us knew what sin was till you came."
"For years my wife thought the Charge of the Light Brigade was the electricity bill."

Television:

Obviously Blankety-Blank because I was in it, but right now I enjoy Deal or No Deal, that Noel Edmunds deserves the break, he's a good kid, i remember him when he was on 'Swap Shop' in the '70s.
I also enjoy 'One Foot In The Grave', 'Rising Damp', and 'Coronation Street'.
Recent comedy, what can i say? It's changed since my day! I quite like what the young uns like Peter Kay, Steve Coogan, Ricky Gervais, Katherine Tate and the 2 boys from Little Britain are doing these days, but its just so different from my era...I long for those days really.

Books:

Here is a list of all the books i wrote, you can still buy some of them from Amazon if you're interested!A Clown Too Many (autobiography, 1986),
No Tears for a Clown,
Hitler Was My Mother-in-Law,
Well Fared My Lovely,
Come Back with the Wind,
Blade and the Passion,
Malady Lingers on and Other Great Groaners,
Les Dawson's Lancashire,
A Time Before Genesis,
Les Dawson Gives Up,
Cosmo Smallpiece Guide to Male Liberation.

Heroes:

All of the new friends and old in the friends section of this page!