Jared profile picture

Jared

being cool is not trying to be cool

About Me

Some quotes I like:
"I'll be all around in the dark - I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look - wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad. I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry and they know supper's ready, and when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise and livin' in the houses they build - I'll be there, too."
Tom Joad in John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath
"One must go where the unfaltering spirit goes, there must be no balking the issue, because of fear." DH Lawrence

""The next real literary 'rebels' might well emerge as some weird bunch of anti-rebels, born oglers who dare somehow to back away from ironic watching, who have the childish gall actually to endorse and instantiate single-entendre principles. Who treat of plain old untrendy human troubles and emotions in life with reverence and conviction. Who eschew self-consciousness and hip fatigue. These anti-rebels would be outdated, of course, before they even started. Dead on the page. Too sincere. Clearly repressed. Backward, quaint, naive, anachronistic. Maybe that'll be the point. Maybe that's why they'll be the next real rebels. Real rebels, as far as I can see, risk disapproval. The old postmodern insurgents risked the gasp and squeal:shock disgust, outrage, censorship, accusations of socialism, anarchism, nihilism. Today's risks are different. The new rebels might be artists willing to risk the yawn, rolled eyes, the cool smile, the nudged ribs, the parody of gifted ironists, the 'Oh how banal.' To risk accusations of sentimentality, melodrama. Of overcredulity. Of softness. Of willingness to be suckered by a world of lurkers and starers who fear gaze and ridicule above imprisonment without law. " David Foster Wallace
"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don't hoard it. Don't dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke." Brendan Francis
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
"Live as brave men; and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts." Cicero
"Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be." Anton Chekhov
"Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves." Blaise Pascal
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." Carl Jung
"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity." Francis Maitland Balfour
"A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." Jack London
"Now if you gonna stay cool, you got to wail. You got to put something down. You got to make some jive. Don't you know what I'm talking about?" Marlon Brando as Jonny in 'the Wild One'
Also, if anyone wants to stalk me then you can find me in West St Live on West St, Sheffield, where I put on gigs featuring 3 or more cool bands every night (except weekends when i don't work). It's free to get in most nights unall. Look in my 'Top 8' section and add Know Your Onion promotions (I DO NOT DO gig bookings through this page unless it is a band that's played for me before or someone i know doing the asking- messages must strictly go to the KYO page). Alternatively, for anyone who isn't so bold then e-stalking can be done care of MSN Messenger, my email is [email protected]

My Interests

I'm into:

your mother,

making the world a better place,

the joys of vegetarianism (been one for over two years now-quorntastic!),

menthol cigarrettes,

navy rum,

real ale,

charity,

political activism,

disability rights,

enjoying my youth before I get old,

talking,

complimenting people,

honesty and sincerity,

internet (am a complete net geek),

the actress Dominique Swain,

girls with strawberry-blonde or ginger hair,

people with big brains and even bigger hearts,

people who may not have a big brain but have a big heart,

thinking lots,

the clothes' shop chain Envy and Freshmans too, a lot,

people who are amazing but don't know it,

people who are amazing but do know it and are humble with it,

Sheffield, Sex City,

surprise messages off people who read my profile/blog but I don't know either well or at all (hint! that means you!),

people who apologise when they are wrong or fook up,

dreaming that I am a superhero akin to Angel or Spiderman,

realising that if I work hard enough I kinda am gonna be a Superhero but without the Superpowers,

IRN BRU,

being proved wrong and learnin' summat as a result,

making people smile,

buying friends drinks,

lipstick-lesbianism,

all soap-operas (except Channel Five's Family Affairs-never got into that),

celebrity gossip (apparrently pop star Will Young is secretly dating Manchester United's John O'Shea, and Jackie Woodbourne-who plays Susan 'Milf' Kennedy in Neighbours- is a lesbian!),

having the piss took out of me by friends (a sign of endearment),

Butlin's holiday resorts' comedians (eg Billy Pierce, Jimmy Cricket, Jim Bowen, Stan Boardman, Keith Harris and Orvile and Cuddles, Roger DeCoursay and Nookie Bear, Cannon and Ball and Little and Large)

twats getting their comeuppance,

nice things happening to nice people,

being vain and fat, ugly and ginger (a bit of an oxymoron),

self-deprecating humour,

swearing like a feckin trouper, mis-spelling words deliberately cos it's reight kool (sic),

being deliberately pretentious and having a Toni and Guy haircut (pretentiousness is the nu kool, kidz- you heard it here first),

being daft, being boring and/or weird at times when really I'm not,

being shy a lot of the time when really I'm not,

making new friends,

being aware of the irony of hating Gordon Brown and most of his cabinet yet still being a member of the Labour party,

picking fluff out of my belly-button,

finding out what other people think about me,

cd-mixtapes,

cottage cheese,

dandelion and burdock,

being messy and unorganised

and last but not least,love (in all it's forms)- and if you think that's soppy you can insert a baguette up your starfish, haughty snobbiness is so passe

I'd like to meet:

anyone who has heard of and likes either Scott Walker or the Wolfhounds or who is very anal about indie/alternative (eg they love the Errol Alkan version of DFA1979's Romantic Rights, they respect Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music cos Lester Bangs thought of it as being the most punk album of all time or they love the obscure Jeff Buckley song Forget Her) anyone who is good at conversation in a witty, lucid and intellectual way, anyone who reads intelligent and thought provoking books and would like to talk about them, girls that fancy me and anyone who is a fellow initiative laden, compassion driven genius and who wants to join me in a massive crusade to help other people that are in need of help cos it pisses them right royally off when others suffer needlessly.

Music:


Scott Walker
the Wolfhounds

lots of unsigned/signed Sheffield bands
lots of offbeat indie/alternative, bits of rock, bits of hip-hop, french stuff
lots of stuff you maybe haven't heard of but you'd like if you had

Movies:

my favourite 3 films of all time are Simon Birch, the World According to Garp and Rebel Without A Cause.I also absolutely adore Richard Linklater's Before Sunrise and Before Sunset

Television:

Angel, Our Friends in the North

Books:

Favourites- picking out a favourite book should by rights be a mammoth if not impossible task, but strangely enough I find it particularly easy at the moment- the best book I've read thus far is One by Richard Bach- read it if you want a life changing and confidence inducing epiphany- heck, message me and I'll prolly buy it on Amazon for you and have it posted to your house if I think you might learn from it. Edit: After reading Bach's other books I feel the need to temper my fervour, they are often all too consistently laden with subtle prejudices and preachy new-age sentimentalism. However I still steadfastly believe that as stand alone work 'One' is great and very accessible. It should be on the national curriculum cos kids would love it and grow as people as a result of reading it... other books/authors that have made me cry, entertained me or change my life in some large or small way include: the Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery, Douglas Coupland, JD Salinger, JT LeRoy, The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving, , Identity by Milan Kundera, Bonjour Tristesse by Francoise Sagan, The Perks of Being a WallFlower by Stephen Chbosky, I Spit on your Graves by Boris Vian, ,DH Lawrence, F Scott Fitzgerald, the Republic of Trees by Sam Taylor, Heartland by Neil Cross and The Incredible Adam Spark by Alan Bisset (funniest book ever!)

Heroes:

I have only one hero: Myself. However, people I admire include Jesus, Mohammed (from a non-religious point of view), Aung San Suu Kyi, Marlon Brando,James Dean, Steve McQueen, the Chuckle Brothers (straight outta Rovrum!), John Irving, Ian McCulloch, Clement Atlee, Pancho Villa, Robin Hood, Emilio Zapata, Douglas Coupland, John Rafferty, Serge Gainsbourg, Jacques Brel, Richard Bach, Leslie Parrish

My Blog

I, Hart, Hurt Huckabee

I, Hart, Hurt Huckabee   Celebrations are today taking place all over America after 26 year old Taylor Hart was cleared of the attempted murder of disgraced vote rigging president Mike Huck...
Posted by Jared on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 03:49:00 PST

an eye for an eye

    An eye for an eye   "The day we met I was crying on a step. She asked me what the matter was, placing her slight frame gently next to me. I told her that my big brother had thro...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 10:31:00 PST

Arche de Triumph

  Arche de Triumph "Lunja..." she sobbed "Is mama really dead?" "Aww, no my sweet she’s not. Don’t listen to what they tell you my Kwella. They are bad people". "But why wou...
Posted by Jared on Sat, 27 Oct 2007 10:21:00 PST

Forever Untitled

Forever UntitledSplash! I can hardly believe it's been 14 years since we were last together! The water is lovely! She's lovely! It's all lovely!  The sun and my hair glowing as yellow as my now b...
Posted by Jared on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 09:33:00 PST

The Camera always lies

The Camera always lies   Natalie Wood was so beautiful in Rebel Without A Cause. My inspiration. Lying with an innately seductive yet vulnerable posture, she’s saying "kiss me" just wit...
Posted by Jared on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 05:40:00 PST

A New Rose

A New RoseI stand close by and admire. You don't know I'm there. You take another drag.  I once bought you a rose.  But you're older now and the memory's faded.  There were so many thin...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 11:36:00 PST

the candidate

"Here you go Boss" said Tom, as he placed a folder on his employer's desk "It took us an age or three but we've finally found some suitable candidates" The Boss carefully opened the folder, looked an...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:34:00 PST

Father and Son

Dear Son, I'd be lying if I said your father lived as a good man, but he died as one. Together we were quite the Romeo and Juliet. Me the white daughter of a rich white farmer, him the black son of ...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:39:00 PST

the shoe's on the other foot

"Can you spare some change please" said the bum at Lisa's feet.  He looked like a gnome that never bathed which made her cringe.   "Sorry, I don't have any" she replied politely, even th...
Posted by Jared on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:32:00 PST