Ruby Collins profile picture

Ruby Collins

I dressed my Zwinky like a whore.

About Me

I have inverted nipples and my lips are venomous poison. I like to sleep with one hand in my pants.

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My Interests

crossword puzzles, roast beef sandwiches, cheese, belt buckles, comic books, irish whiskey, guitars, poker, lemonade, the awesomeness that is a stupid stripper, ninjas, talk radio, inappropriate haikus.

I'd like to meet:

A totally super-sweet ninja who is totally pumped and ready to party. Hard.

Music:

the bee gees, elvis, weezer, t-rex, willie, johnny cash, quiet riot, william hung, beatles, sex pistols, stevie tombstone, acdc, honky, johnny horton, lita ford, blondie, saves the day, styx, barry manilow, the who, the rolling stones, talking heads.

Movies:

lawrence of arabia, old school, goodfellas, city of god, sabrina(the original), saturday night fever, italian job(the original), the usual suspects, indiana joneses, star warses(really only the old ones), monty python and the holy grail, pee-wee's big adventure, edward scissorhands.

Television:

i dont have electricity. just kidding. i love too many television shows to list here.

Books:

right this second i’m reading my alcoholics anonymous book, how to win friends and influence people, the sandman, y the last man, sinestro corps, american gods, and the portable dorothy parker. the last book(s) i finished was preacher.

Heroes:

i’m holding out for one ’til the end of the night, but he’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight. i do need a hero. i’m holding out for one ’til the morning light. i guess he’s gotta be sure, but it’s gotta be soon and he’s gotta be larger than life. yeah, you know, a hero.

My Blog

that noise was richie.

i havent had the internet for more than 10 minutes since last monday, so this is absolutely not going to do this trip justice, but here goes...we left boston for albany last sunday. i dont remember t...
Posted by Ruby Collins on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:05:00 PST

boston to albany. stage one. i need pants.

our last night in boston we did a show at a punk rock ice cream parlor. i did not eat ice cream there, but i hear it was wonderful. i just cant eat ice cream in 40 degree temperature.the show was fo...
Posted by Ruby Collins on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:04:00 PST

so, i’m in boston. should have packed some socks.

thursday april 3rd we had an awesome kick-off show at headhunters. thanks to everyone who was there. it was a good time.then...so, i had planned to go home as early as possible so i could pack. i h...
Posted by Ruby Collins on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 11:49:00 PST

a day in the life of a hairdresser-to-be

some of you have wondered where my stripper quotes have gone. well, i done went to school.beauty school.here’s what i did today:9:45-12:45: a fist full of fingerwaves.1:00-1:30: ate chicken.1...
Posted by Ruby Collins on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:47:00 PST

Stripper Quote

Me: "I want to learn the Superman dance." Stripper 1: "You can look it up on YouTube."Stripper 2: "I heard YouTube gives you diseases!"Long PauseMe: "...like, a computer virus?"Stripper 2: "What?...
Posted by Ruby Collins on Sun, 02 Dec 2007 02:32:00 PST

i dont "hate" dr. juan

sometimes i overreact.
Posted by Ruby Collins on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 11:20:00 PST

Quiet Riot and how much I hate Dr. Juan

I love Quiet Riot.  Whatever.  I love them..   It's a band, yeah.  I love that band.  Just as much as you love your favorite band. What am I supposed to say? I loved Kev...
Posted by Ruby Collins on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 03:22:00 PST

Stripper Quote

Stripper 1:  "I like your new Subaru.  Those are 4 wheel drive."Stripper 2:  "No, it's ALL wheel drive."Stripper 1:  "Whoa.  That's awesome."
Posted by Ruby Collins on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 05:57:00 PST

Stripper Quote

"He's kind of an asshole.  He has little people's syndrome." (guy being discussed is not, in fact, a midget/"little person")Napoleon complex.  Whatever.
Posted by Ruby Collins on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 01:07:00 PST

Stripper Quote

"It's stupid when a girl be namin' herself Hennessey when she look like a 40"I guess the same could be said for a girl who names herself Mercedes when she looks like a Buick.
Posted by Ruby Collins on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 08:07:00 PST