9-10-94 my Sobriety date addicted to alcohol,cocaine and anything else i could get my hands on. 13 years of AA, NA, and 7 years of Al-Anon With the help of my higher power changed my life.
Have done 12 step calls for over 10 years (getting Alcoholics & addicts to go to meetings) have done Interventions profesionally for over a year. my success rate is well over 90% thanks to my higher power!
Have worked ALL the 12 steps in all 3 programs what a difference that's made in my life not only as an addict but also an enabler of addicts (family members).
Create Your OwnThe main reason I am writing this is because I know that families need it.And fortunately I have been able to stay sober for many years (double digits) I don't really want this to be about myself, although I feel that the readers deserve to know a little bit about me. I was born in 1962, and it was my mother and father's second marriage each. I'm one of somewhere between nine and 11 children I’ve never met all my brothers and sisters. My father was married five times. It may have been 4 I am not really sure my father was a sergeant in the Korean War. My mother was a clerical worker. One of the first memories that I have is almost like one of those out of body experiences, where you just remember it happening. But you don't know how you can remember It. It was my Uncle Mickey and my father fighting in our living room and my Uncle Mickey,pulled a knife on my father to make him stop beating my mother. Things never changed much in my childhood from that point on. I have vague memories of my mother being beaten and my brothers and sisters being beaten and also myself, I was beaten with belts, boards,And fist. My father was a chronic alcoholic. He also from what I understand molested two of my sisters. When I was somewhere between nine and 11 years old, is when I first started taking drugs. My sister Tammy and my brother Tom used to argue jokingly about whom got me high first i guess they though it was funny watching a little kid on drugs like blowing your dog shot guns. The one thing I don't want to do is make any of my problems sound like they were because of my father or my mother or brothers or sisters or the way I was raised. I own every drop of alcohol I put in my body, every joint I smoked, every line of cocaine that I did,every pill that I took every needle i shoved in my vein. I in no way was a good person. I stole,I lied, and I beat people up. I stole from my neighbors. I stole from the church. I stole from anybody I could; I was a thief. I had been in jail in the Lake Station Police Department. The Merrillville Police Department, the Laporte County Police Department. The Kenosha County Police Department, and that's just what I can remember. I ended up in my first treatment center, right after my sophomore year in high school.I had been thrown out of high school for having explosives. At that time. Apparently they considered a firecracker to be an explosive, and it was basically a juvenile prank. I set off a firecracker in the bathroom,(my friend was taking a crap and i threw it under his stall, i can still picture him jumping off the toilet) and they threw me out of school, although they had many, many problems with me at that school. I had been caught with marijuana. I had been thrown out for taking Quaaludes etc. so they had their reasons. I ended up in my first treatment center after the Laporte County Sheriff’s Department arrested me, I had been at a double kegger, and I had been tripping on Angel dust All that day, and at night I decided to go to a party. My dog also got killed that day, following me across the street to go snort Angel dust. When I got to the kegger I met some guys there that I didn't really know and asked them if they wanted to go to another party in Chesterton. They said yeah, unfortunately, I was so drunk and high I had no idea how to get back to Chesterton. So I ended up at somebody's house, knocking on his or her door and telling my imaginary mom to let me in. Someone called the police, and after chasing me around the house and me fighting with the police officers I was arrested. When my mother and father picked me up from the Laporte County Jail. I knew that I had to do something so that I wouldn't have to go back to jail. My father at that time was sober. He had quit drinking when I was nine years old, and to the best of my knowledge, had only relapsed one time. He was working in the employee assistance program at USX, He was also a grievance committeeman at USX. So I told my dad that I thought I needed some help, although the only reason I said this was so I wouldn't have to go to jail. I was sent to Chicago Lakeshore Hospital and continued getting high, even while I was there, after about two or two and half weeks at Lakeshore, We had a family counseling session. At that time. My counselor there whose name I don't recall told me that I needed long-term drug treatment. I'm sure that I told them about most of the drugs that I did, and about my friend’s back home. That's when they decided that if I went back home. I would just end up getting high again. So they recommended long term treatment for me. Gateway House was the second treatment center that I found myself in. It was definitely culture shock for me. I came from a lily-white area, although my father had many black friends because of his job. But I didn't have any black friends, and roughly 99% of all of the people in Gateway House at that time were black and not necessarily nice black people. Not only that I was the youngest person too ever be put in Gateway House. At that time, Gateway was called A therapeutic community or a TC. At Gateway House, Most of the people there were sent there from jail and from what I understand,It was either finish Gateway House, or do your maximum sentence. So they felt Gateway House was probably easier than staying in jail,I’m not sure if that’s actually true, many of the things that they used to do at Gateway House have since been banned since When I was there which was roughly 1977. I guess the things that they banned They found to be too degrading and humiliating like walking around with signs on, and other various things that were meant to humiliate you. Also at Gateway there might have been one or two like myself who were not sentenced there. A lot of them were gang bangers, etc. Almost all were heroin addicts. They looked down on me because I took everything. I found it to be funny, because I looked down on them because they were mostly heroine junkies. I never got high, while I was a Gateway House I stayed sober there for seven months until, I met my first love. At the end of my stay I ended up getting in trouble over a remark that I had made about a staff member at Gateway and they wanted to take away all of my privileges. There was no way that I was going to have that happen, Especially since I wouldn't be able to see my first love, so I left and within two weeks. I was getting high again. I continued to use drugs and get drunk as often as I possibly could, my first love had broken up with me over me, stealing her pain killers. That was devastating. I just lost my first love. I had no desire to go back to school, or actually do anything constructive with my life that's when I meant Linda. There was only one problem with Linda. My parents couldn't stand her at all, due to the fact that she was 18 years older than I was. I lived with Linda for about two and half years. There were lots of drugs. Lots of alcohol, and lots of chaos, one of the things that I think I've discovered is that I wasn't necessarily addicted to the drugs or the alcohol, but it was the chaos. I think that that happened, because my childhood was so chaotic. I'm not sure that's just what I think I know that I created almost all of the chaos in my childhood, again i'm not going to blame anybody for what has happened to me. At 19 years old because my life was out of control again. I found myself going back to Chicago Lakeshore Hospital, where after two weeks. They threw me out. I was having, what they call a rehab romance. And that was it once I left there I continued, getting high and drinking. Then at 22. I met my wife Paula. I can't emphasize enough how much I loved her and to this day still love and have the utmost respect for her, her parents led me to Christ and for that. I am eternally grateful. When I met Paula. The second true love of my life. I prayed every day that God would give her to me. (When I talk about praying. It was instilled in me a very young age by my mother that there was a God and that he was on my side. Even though I was raised Catholic and many people believe that Catholics have a punishing God. That’s just not true. That’s not how my mother taught me about God. I did know that my God loved me, and even though I had stolen money from the church.) I knew that my God loved me and I also knew that God was going to give me Paula. As my wife. I met Paula on June 6 and married her on July 27. The same year, she was always the anchor in our marriage, and I was always the screw up. Paula and I stayed married for 16 years, and through out those years. I know that I must've put her through hell through my drug abuse through my alcoholism and through my adultery Paula stuck with me through thick and thin. The main reason that Paula and I got divorced, was simply because I did not want to hurt her anymore. We have one daughter, her name is Emily, although Emily has never seen me drink alcohol or use drugs. She has seen the effects it's had on my life, including the divorce. I believe drugs and alcohol were also the cause of my major depressions, which Emily has witnessed. With that said, I just wanted to give the reader some type of background of the kind of person that I was. I cant tell you how rewarding it is to be an Interventionist and help people who where just like me get sober, I believe some people do it for the money that's not me! it's about saving lives people that are in it for the money should "inventory" that and quit
thanks for reading about a small part of my life.Steve
