Melissa Merlot profile picture

Melissa Merlot

I am the triple diamond jackpot. And you are the idiot who didn't wanna win.

About Me


Sick and twisted natural redhead who wants to conquer the ignorant narrow-minded masses with sarcasm and wit. I'm a bartender, a comedian, and a bitter cynical bitch well sometimes.

I party like a rockstar
Look like a movie star
Play like an all star
F**k like a pornstar
Baby I'm a superstar

I make cartoons too check them out at Wicked Static.

And I write poetry and put some of my favorites together in a book called Firewalk

I AM CHAOS

.. width="425" height="350" ..

BEST VIDEO EVER!!!

}

My Interests

Comedy, Comics, and Cartoons.

I'd like to meet:

Awesome creative people! AND I AM NOT HERE TO HOOK UP! Unless you are that really hot guy from the Aguafresh Extreme Clean commercial or Vince Vaughn. *MEOW* Oh and people to get drunk with and have an Aqua Teens Marathon.

Music:


Movies:

Dark City, Braincandy, PARTY MONSTER, The Crow, Se7en, The Matrix, Snatch, Pulp Fiction, Kiss Me Deadly, Saw, Boondock Saints, Bottle Rocket, Zoolander, Lost Highway, Blue Velvet, Scanners, Creature From The Black Lagoon, 21 grams. and Thief directed by Michael Mann music by Tangerine Dream. and of course Sin City. I love scary movies.

Television:

Aqua Teens Hunger Force, Adult Swim, Nip/Tuck, Queer as Folk, Law & Order S.V.U., Firefly, The Tick, The Critic, Family Guy, Miami Vice, Duckman, House, and all the E True Hollywood Crap.

Books:

1984, Slaughter House Five, Inferno, Paradise Lost, Heart of Darkness, Howl, Whitman, Burroughs, Ginsberg, Steinbeck, Lovecraft, Orwell, David Icke, Bob Frissell, H.G. Wells, Clive Barker, Hunter S. Thompson, and kids books with pretty pictures.

Heroes:

Free Thinkers of every age, time, colour, and culture.
I am Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!
Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you??Your results:
You are Dark Phoenix Dark Phoenix 84% Catwoman 78% Apocalypse 78% Poison Ivy 78% Magneto 76% Venom 73% The Joker 73% Mystique 72% Dr. Doom 66% Lex Luthor 63% Mr. Freeze 57% Juggernaut 52% Two-Face 52% Riddler 42% Green Goblin 40% Kingpin 31% A prime example of emotional extremes: Passion and fury incarnate.
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...
GREATEST ADVICE EVER!

My Blog

tears & tickles

When you cry with waterproof mascara on the tears start to tickle. Yeah yeah I cry a lot. Big woop wanna fight about it? Yeah me niether I'd rather just cry about it more. WAH! I so fucking hate...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 09:10:00 PST

Everything Bad Is Good

So tonight I wanted to say something bad to someone who probably didn't deserve to hear it and didn't have the understanding to get it anyway. So instead I said something good to someone who did deser...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:54:00 PST

Backstabbed!

Ouch! It has happened to me many times and I am sure it will happen many more. I just wanted to say that every time it has happened when one person who I put all my trust in returned my kind act of fr...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:20:00 PST

Nice Try But...

Life is still beautiful. Here are some ways to keep it that way. 1. Serve others and do not tell anyone2. Practice meaningful coincidences, focus on something you'd like to see happen3. Notice your t...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:05:00 PST

Revenge!

The best revenge is finding someone I can treat the way I wanted you to treat me. Neener!
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:33:00 PST

Foolish

I'm not the fool for loving you. You are the fool for losing me. I never love halfway. I am the romantic you may have read about. I mean every word and I act on my feelings. I will never be ashamed. I...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 01:37:00 PST

On Being Ugly

Life is so much harder when you are ugly and fat but fat people can lose weight, ugly is there to stay. Unless you get plastic surgery then you look kinda weird. When I was sixteen I had a list of all...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 04:07:00 PST

War

Is not won in the battlefield it is won in the minds of the people.
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:46:00 PST

Love Is Always Out There

After being treated like dirt and dicked around it's nice to see that love still exists. At work I helped a couple that actually loved each other and was celebrating their anniversary. They weren't pe...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 11:02:00 PST

Nervous Breakdowns

SUCK! But I don't care I just wish I had someone to talk to about it. When Burroughs got lost he had to write his way out. Sounds like a wonderful plan to me. I never thought I could hurt so much and ...
Posted by Melissa Merlot on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 02:35:00 PST