Fash profile picture

Fash

I'm in an ape-suit! That means I don't give a fuck

About Me

.."The other shape, If shape it might be call'd, that shape had none, Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb; Or substance might be call'd that shadow seem'd; For each seem'd either; black it stood as night, Fierce as ten furies, terrible as Hell, And shook a dreadful dart; what seem'd his head The likeness of a kingly crown had on. Satan was now at hand; and from his seat, The monster, moving onward, came as fast With horrid strides; Hell trembled as he strode." -- John Milton


* Before you read any of this, 99.9% of everything I ever write is located here.
+ The name's Fash. I'm a small town girl who was orphaned at the tender age of three months and adopted by Grizzly Bears. Actually, that's not true, but I am sometimes a redneck at heart. I blame it on living in the Canadian Boonies.
For instance, I can identify different animal tracks, types of moss, shoot a gun and enjoy a nice can of cold beans around a campfire. I can't, however, hail a taxi cab, ride an elevator properly (without screaming about Zombie invasion) or walk a city block without having a fit of hysteria. Sometimes I think I am on too much medication...and sometimes I forget to take it.
I'm an opinionated, hyperactive fuckup with way too much time on my hands and really big feet. I thrive on humiliating myself and my friends, mostly in public areas, and really like the sound of my own voice. I have a tendency to lust for creepy men who resemble the Undead and/or criminals and harbor an unholy hatred for small children...which is highly ironic considering I'm a nanny (some of the time).
I mostly prefer the company of animals to that of human beings and live in a smelly house surrounded by rodents and reptiles. I can often be found in the bath with my rats, eating fruit loops with my rats, or standing in front of my snakes tank making highly incomprehensible squealing noises. Also of note is my Feminazi Side, which often claws its way to the surface when I encounter arrogant, waddling nightmares of gene pools at WalMart who think they can purchase my buttocks for a small fee. I won't swallow your manjuice or pretend to give a shit about your stupid truck. kthnx.
So here I am. I swear like a pirate, I draw hot chicks with huge boobies, and I can kick any boys ass at videogames.
Xenomorphs are love

*~My websites~*
:


My Photography
My Fanfiction
SWYDM
[email protected]
Also, please visit my Fuckin' Fotki account for Webcam Stupidity.
Mail me! [email protected]
+ Onto my more mature, pleasant attributes. I'm currently working at PRT Summit Nursery and am the fastest tree lifter/thinner in the north. My two career options of choice are Esthetics (namely my Peircing Certificate) and my Masters in either Dog Training or Grooming. Right now I'm with the best guy in the universe and we're living in his hometown of Largs, SCOTLAND. That's right muthafuckaz, SCOTLAND.
I write a lot. I've been writing a novel for the better part of five years now. There's lots of angsty 80's style fantasy action in it. I also like to pretend that I'm a photographer and/or model on weekends. I take my Canon Rebel everywhere as it's attached itself to my eyelid and there aren't any doctors willing to take my case. I play Magic: The Gathering obsessively and enjoy opening up cans of Whup Ass with my Angel Army. Dorky to the max, I avoid sunlight with a chaulky tone (thnx violent j) and suffer repeated bouts of carpal tunnel syndrome. Send me things in the mail. That would kick ass (unless it's Anthrax).
++ ATTENTION ++
If you ask to see my titties, if I'm single, or if I swallow...I have only one thing to say to you.
+ I'm a rodent-enthusiast all around. I own three rats. If you are of the majority of humankind who thinks rats are gross, vile creatures, leave right now and don't even try talking to me. Byebye.
+ A big fan of invertebrates (except spiders) I am the proud mommy of a Giant African Millipede named Taco. He is snuggly. And he has lots of legs.
+ I am a German Shepherd Dog fan and am blessed to have 2 beautiful 2yr-old sisters, Star and Katie. They are my life, my world, my loves. Literally - almost every moment of my free time is spent with my girls. I take dogs very seriously and train for 15 min a day! Everyone should :)
I love American Pit Bull Terriers and all other 'bully' breeds. If you don't like pits, or think that they're vicious monsters, don't fucking talk to me. Their bad reputations are entirely undeserved. I'm actively involved with learning about and educating others on the subject of Breed Specific Legislation. Pit Bulls, German Shepherds, Rottweilers, Dobermans, Akitas and other large-breed dogs are being targeted as subjects of Breed Discrimination. This means that dogs are being unfairly judged and discriminated against simply because of their breed. Many of them are being banned and some even killed in many different countries. Please get involved and educate yourself on the subject of BSL, and how to oppose it: StandUnited.ca

My Interests


Art, Music, Literature, Books, Writing, Reading, Body Art, Tattoos, Body Mods, Hair Dye, Body Jewelery, Jewelery, Wicca, Spiritualism, Tarot, Reptiles, Rodents, Rats, Mice, Xenomorphs, Computers, Internet, Photography, Digital Photo Manipulation, Digital Art, Graffiti, Cameras, Clouds, Modelling, Anime, Videogames, RPG's, Dungeons and Dragons, Rifts, Magic: The Gathering, Movies, Horror Movies, Independent Films, Low-Budget Films, Movie Makeup, Monsters, Werewolves, Vampires, B Movies, 80's Music, Hiking, Boxing, Swimming, Martial Arts, Animals, Outdoors, Camping, Snakes, Geckos, Lizards, Scorpions, Bats, Medieval history, Swords, Knives, Criminology, The supernatural, Paranormal happenings, Spirits, Macabre, Occult, Demonology, Dogs, Dog Training, Dog Agility, Shutzhund, Anti-BSL, American Pitbull Terriers, German Shepherd Dogs, Doberman Pinschers, Rottweilers, Mastiffs, Hairless Animals, Albino Animals

I'd like to meet:


Music:


*Heavy/Rock*
Hatebreed/Otep/Bile/Megadeath/Machinehead/Angra/Deftones/Too l/Killswitch/Lacuna Coil/Iced Earth/Queensycthe/Nightwish/Danzig/Manowar/Metallica/Black Sabbath/Nine Inch Nails/Pantera/Slayer/Anthrax/Rammstien/Sepultura/Kittie/Stat ic X/Cradle of Filth/The Kidney Thieves/E. Nomine/Marilyn Manson/Godsmack/Disturbed/Mudvayne/AC/DC/Wumpscut/Korn/Soulf ly/Stutterfly//Coal Chamber/Iron Maiden/Rob Zombie/White Zombie/Drowning Pool/Theatre des Vampires/London After Midnight/Revielle/Kamelot
*Rap*
Missy Elliot/Eminem/Insane Clown Posse/Twiztid/Kottonmouth Kings/D12/Dark Lotus/Snoop Dog/Dr.Dre/Ice Cube/Ludacris/Xzibit/Swollen Members
*Techno/Industrial/Trance*
Paul Oakenfold/Infected Mushroom/ATB/Lords of Acid/The Crystal Method/The Chemical Brothers/Ian Van Dahl
*Soft/Alternative/Rock*
Sarah McLachlan/Ani DiFranco/Chantal Kreviazuk/Bjork/John Mellencamp/Fleetwood Mac/The Cardigans/Frou Frou/Imogen Heap/No Doubt/Garbage/Hole/The Tea Party/Our Lady Peace/The Smashing Pumpkins/Jimmy Eat World/Plumb/Skillet/Vast/Creed/PJ Harvey/Oasis/Teitur/Billy Talent/Danko Jones/T.A.T.U/U2/The White Stripes/Tegan and Sara/Story Of The Year/Biff Naked/Pink/Evanesence/Sarah Slean/A Perfect Circle/Modest Mouse/Depeche Mode/The Doors/SR71/Mad At Gravity/Nickleback/Linkin Park/Staind/Chevelle/Bush/Coldplay/Damien Rice/Everlast/Goldfrapp/Madonna/Michael Jackson/Lost Prophets/P.O.D/Hayden/Nashville Pussy/The Weakerthans/Deathcab for a cutie
*New Age/Instrumental*
Enigma/Delerium/Dead Can Dance/Banco de Gaia/Synthasesia/Apocolyptica/Conjure One
*Opera/Classical*
Andrea Bocelli/Josh Groban/Sarah Brightman
*Foreign*
Andrea Gubin/Kraski/Virus/Ayumi Hamasaki/Dir en grey/Malice Mizer/Utada Hikaru
*Composers*
Hans Zimmer/John Frizzell/James Horner/Yoko Kano

Movies:

The greatest movies of all time.
+ I absolutely love Horror movies. They're probably my favourite. I've been watching them avidly since I was quite young, which might very well explain a few things. My favourite theme would probably have to be werewolves. A close second are classic slasher flicks. I'm into the oldschool and the classics; back when they actually knew how to make a good scary movie.
Another favourite movie genre is Fantasy. Anything with dragons, swords, and kick-ass epic battles gets me going. Despite the fact that my second favourite movies of all time (ALIENS series) are sci-fi, I generally don't like the genre. Spaceships don't do it for me.
Lastly, Martial Arts movies. Because watching somebody be a lethal weapon with their body alone is pretty goddamn kickass.
The Lion King, Die Hard with Avengance, The Matrix, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimaroon, The Nightmare before Christmas, Panic Room, Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Predator, AVP, Pitch Black, Bandits, The Fifth Element, 12 Monkeys, House of 1,000 Corpses, Bad Moon, Ginger Snaps, Scream, Ringu, The Eye, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Clerks: The Animation, Spirited Away, Kill Bill, Kill Bill 2, Anaconda, Titanic, Ghost World, Ghost Ship, Beavis and Butthead do America, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Gladiator, Braveheart, Dawn of the Dead (original), Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Legend, The Dark Crystal, The Secret of Nyhm, Little Monsters, Milo and Otis, Far From Home, The Incredible Journey, Mans Best Friend, Ong Bak, Man on Fire

Television:

"Right you are, Ken."
Trailer Park Boys, Trauma: Life in the ER, Survivor, Third Watch, CSI, Family Guy, Futurama, Robot Chicken, The Simpsons, Undergrads, Braceface, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Maximum Exposure, Ripleys Believe it or Not, Killer Instinct, The Crocodile Hunter, Wild Discovery, Animal Miracles, Dogs with Jobs, Tales from the Morgue, Sopranos, MXC, Band of Brothers, Heros, Grey's Anatomy, House, Cell Dogs, Breed all about It, Wild Rescues, Emergency Vets, Miami Animal Police, Animal Heroes Phoenix, Animal Cops Houston, Harvey Birdman, Orange County Choppers, Big Cat Diaries, Skin Deep, Miami Ink

Books:



Wizards First Rule Stone of Tears Blood of the Fold Temple of the Winds
Cruddy, Raptor Red, Swan Song, Wolf's Hour, Intensity, The Wayfarer Redemption Trilogy, The Shanarra series, American Gods, Bring Me The Head of Prince Charming, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Mosh Pit, Boys Life, Mystery Walk, The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, The Mummy, The Symphony of Ages series, The Hobbit, Filth, A million little pieces, The dog who spoke with Gods, Odd Thomas, Forever Odd, Brother Odd, Hannibal Rising

Heroes:

Sigourney Weaver, Anthony Hopkins, Bruce Willis, Steve Irwin, Angelina Jolie, Terry Goodkind, Brom, Boris Vallejo, H.R Giger, Ridley Scott, Akira Toriyama, Masamune Shirow, Sarah McLachlan, Richard Garfield, Todd McFarlane, Wizards of the Coast, Rob Bredl, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, Trevor Brown, Luis Royo, Dorian Clevanger, Lynda Barry, Hayo Miyazaki, Don Cheadle, Edward Norton, Denzel Washington, Debbie DuCommon, Diane Jessup, Ani DiFranco

My Blog

Please vote for me!

" The more people who vote for me/Friend me/promote me, the better chances I have of actually appearing in the pages of Bizare Magazine! So come on, it only takes a few minutes. Pweeeeease? I'll love...
Posted by Fash on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 11:12:00 PST

the competetion

Anybody with BEBO should add me at: dkendall732
Posted by Fash on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 06:20:00 PST

Curious thought XD

How fantastically hilarious it would be if farts were visible. And not just visible; but really visible. I'm talking like a bright flourescent neon purple cloud of smelly vapor that comes out of your ...
Posted by Fash on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 06:49:00 PST

Lotsa Legs

I am now the proud mom of a giant african millipede :D He's my 'lil leggy baby. Check him out in my gallery and give him some loooove.
Posted by Fash on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 10:05:00 PST

I need to urinate, plz kthnx.

Today was WARM! I went for a walk about an hour ago and the sun was shining and the birds were chirping and, well here is the fantastical part; I only wore a t-shirt! XD I brag but this is amazing for...
Posted by Fash on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 06:10:00 PST

penisbutter sandwiches.

Life's been pretty boring and not at all spectacular. I think it's fairly sad when the highlight of my week is buying a Pilates ball for 8.95$ at the wholesale club. WHEEE. Jay bought us a home theatr...
Posted by Fash on Sat, 25 Feb 2006 11:30:00 PST

Angry Vagina!

Vagina Rant! I was talking with a friend tonight and we got on the subject of douche. I started ranting about how I am a complete Anti-Douche Nazi. Then I realized that I'm just a Natural-Vagina Nazi....
Posted by Fash on Wed, 01 Feb 2006 07:47:00 PST

Wheee.

It's New Years Eve and I'm going to spend it in my sweatpants eating greasy pizza, watching movies and having tons of sex. Hope you all have a Tooty Fuckin' Frooty time.
Posted by Fash on Sun, 01 Jan 2006 09:50:00 PST

Here's a spoon so you can eat my immature ass.

I bought myself a Cookie Monster hoodie at WalMart yesterday. Now, I'm sure we can all agree that Cookie Monster is the shit. He's big, blue, and all he does is spaz the fuck out and eat shitloads of ...
Posted by Fash on Wed, 19 Oct 2005 02:38:00 PST

Thanks! (Birthday post IMAGE INTENSIVE beyatches)

Today was a pretty good day :) Got my hair cut and I fuckin' love it. Jay got me a hella cute Hello Kitty card with sparkly stickers inside! He bought me Gauntlet Legends for Dreamcast, which is proba...
Posted by Fash on Sat, 10 Sep 2005 10:31:00 PST