* Before you read any of this, 99.9% of everything I ever write is located here.
+ The name's Fash. I'm a small town girl who was orphaned at the tender age of three months and adopted by Grizzly Bears. Actually, that's not true, but I am sometimes a redneck at heart. I blame it on living in the Canadian Boonies.
For instance, I can identify different animal tracks, types of moss, shoot a gun and enjoy a nice can of cold beans around a campfire. I can't, however, hail a taxi cab, ride an elevator properly (without screaming about Zombie invasion) or walk a city block without having a fit of hysteria. Sometimes I think I am on too much medication...and sometimes I forget to take it.
I'm an opinionated, hyperactive fuckup with way too much time on my hands and really big feet. I thrive on humiliating myself and my friends, mostly in public areas, and really like the sound of my own voice. I have a tendency to lust for creepy men who resemble the Undead and/or criminals and harbor an unholy hatred for small children...which is highly ironic considering I'm a nanny (some of the time).
I mostly prefer the company of animals to that of human beings and live in a smelly house surrounded by rodents and reptiles. I can often be found in the bath with my rats, eating fruit loops with my rats, or standing in front of my snakes tank making highly incomprehensible squealing noises. Also of note is my Feminazi Side, which often claws its way to the surface when I encounter arrogant, waddling nightmares of gene pools at WalMart who think they can purchase my buttocks for a small fee. I won't swallow your manjuice or pretend to give a shit about your stupid truck. kthnx.
So here I am. I swear like a pirate, I draw hot chicks with huge boobies, and I can kick any boys ass at videogames.
Xenomorphs are love
*~My websites~*
:
My Photography
My Fanfiction
SWYDM
[email protected]
Also, please visit my Fuckin' Fotki account for Webcam Stupidity.
Mail me! [email protected]
+ Onto my more mature, pleasant attributes. I'm currently working at PRT Summit Nursery and am the fastest tree lifter/thinner in the north. My two career options of choice are Esthetics (namely my Peircing Certificate) and my Masters in either Dog Training or Grooming. Right now I'm with the best guy in the universe and we're living in his hometown of Largs, SCOTLAND. That's right muthafuckaz, SCOTLAND.
I write a lot. I've been writing a novel for the better part of five years now. There's lots of angsty 80's style fantasy action in it. I also like to pretend that I'm a photographer and/or model on weekends. I take my Canon Rebel everywhere as it's attached itself to my eyelid and there aren't any doctors willing to take my case. I play Magic: The Gathering obsessively and enjoy opening up cans of Whup Ass with my Angel Army. Dorky to the max, I avoid sunlight with a chaulky tone (thnx violent j) and suffer repeated bouts of carpal tunnel syndrome. Send me things in the mail. That would kick ass (unless it's Anthrax).
++ ATTENTION ++
If you ask to see my titties, if I'm single, or if I swallow...I have only one thing to say to you.
+ I'm a rodent-enthusiast all around. I own three rats. If you are of the majority of humankind who thinks rats are gross, vile creatures, leave right now and don't even try talking to me. Byebye.
+ A big fan of invertebrates (except spiders) I am the proud mommy of a Giant African Millipede named Taco. He is snuggly. And he has lots of legs.
+ I am a German Shepherd Dog fan and am blessed to have 2 beautiful 2yr-old sisters, Star and Katie. They are my life, my world, my loves. Literally - almost every moment of my free time is spent with my girls. I take dogs very seriously and train for 15 min a day! Everyone should :)
I love American Pit Bull Terriers and all other 'bully' breeds. If you don't like pits, or think that they're vicious monsters, don't fucking talk to me. Their bad reputations are entirely undeserved. I'm actively involved with learning about and educating others on the subject of Breed Specific Legislation. Pit Bulls, German Shepherds, Rottweilers, Dobermans, Akitas and other large-breed dogs are being targeted as subjects of Breed Discrimination. This means that dogs are being unfairly judged and discriminated against simply because of their breed. Many of them are being banned and some even killed in many different countries. Please get involved and educate yourself on the subject of BSL, and how to oppose it: StandUnited.ca