Ash profile picture

Ash

Good, bad...I'm the guy with the gun.

About Me

Alright, listen up you primitive screwheads! I'm not much for talk, but when I do, things are bound to get screwed up in a hurry. The last time someone relied on me to say something intelligent, I released an army of the dead on you primitive screwheads. And shut the door! Were you born in a barn? (Probably was born in a barn, with all the other primitives). So I try not to say anything too important anymore. Anyways, I sent those filthy boneheads cryin home to mamma, and now I'm back at S-Mart. Name's Ash, by the way. Housewares. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart...Ya got that!? Yeah, old spinach-chin practically begged me to stay after taking care of their...little problem. I had the chance to teach them, to lead them, to be King!...but, I said the words, swallowed the juice and here I am. And...what? Well maybe I didn't say every single little syllable, no, but basically I said 'em...Basically...What was that? Wait, it's a trick...Get an axe.

My Interests

Shotguns, chainsaws, cheesy toasts, Necronomicon Ex Mortus, the fruit cellar, keepin my soul, S-Mart, Linda Linda and Sheila, accidentally shooting redneck bitches, talking moose-heads, mirrors, being possessed, buying my girlfriend crappy magnifying glass jewelry, card tricks, the Delta Cruiser

I'd like to meet:

Girls named Linda are high on my list. If I never saw another deadite in my life I'd be just fine.
We shall feast upon your soooouuuuuls! You shall never obtain the necronomicon! You'll die in the graveyard before you get it!
Oh well, here we go again...Yo, she-bitch! Come get some.

Music:

The Talking Heads, Cannibal Corpse, Gorguts, Grateful Dead, Dead Can Dance, Dead Man's Party, Dead Kennedys, Dead Milkmen, Dead or Alive, Dead Toad, The Undead

Movies:

The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. · American Gothic · Army of Darkness · Assault on Dome 4 · Beggars and Choosers *Bubba Ho-Tep* · Broken Helix · Charmed · Congo · Crimewave · Darkman · The Dead Next Door · The Demolitionist · Easy Wheels · Ellen · Escape from L.A. · The Evil Dead · Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn · Evil Dead: Hail to the King · Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick · Fanalysis · Fargo · From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money · Generations · Going Back · Goldrush · Hatred of a Minute · Hercules: The Legendary Journeys · Homicide: Life on the Street · Hubert's Brain · The Hudsucker Proxy · Icebreaker · If Chins Could Kill (Hardcover) · If Chins Could Kill (Trade Paperback) · In the Line of Duty: Blaze of Glory · Intruder · Jack of All Trades · Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman · The Love Bug · Lunatics: A Love Story · The Majestic · Maniac Cop · Maniac Cop 2 · McHale's Navy · Menno's Mind · Mindwarp · Missing Links · Moontrap · La Patinoire · Pitfall 3D: Beyond the Jungle · The Quick and the Dead · Running Time · Serving Sara · Spider-Man · Spider-Man: The Movie Game · Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat · Tachyon: The Fringe · Terminal Invasion · Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except · Timecop · Timequest · Tornado! · VIP · Waxwork II: Lost in Time · Xena: Warrior Princess · The X-Files

Television:

See Movies

Books:

A Farewell To Arms, If Chins Could Kill, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

Heroes:

Yours Truly

My Blog

ARMY OF DARKNESS MARCHES AGAIN IN JULY

New Army of Darkness comics from Devil's Due, written by Andy (Danger Girl) Hartnell, will be out this July. Here's the story from Newsarama: ARMY OF DARKNESS MARCHES AGAIN IN JULY...
Posted by Ash on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

He who drops heavy objects on my head.


Posted by Ash on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Ha!

Klaatu, Verada, Nicto. The aliens are here for thegood of mankind yet misunderstood by most. StarTrek won't be around for another 10 years, soyou're on your own. Which 50's B-Movie are you? brought ...
Posted by Ash on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Groovy
Posted by Ash on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Anyone want Army themes go here Army of Darkness desktop themes
Posted by Ash on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I'm bad Ash...and you're good Ash. You're goody little two shoes. Little goody two shoes, little goody two shoes, little goody TWO shoes, little goody TWO shoes...eh?...
Posted by Ash on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST