Farmer Vincent's fritters profile picture

Farmer Vincent's fritters

I'm THAT guy.

About Me



I write a blog here on Myspace. If you have a moment, please check out one or two of my blogs and drop me a note and let me know your thoughts good or bad. Oh, and if you dig them and are interested please feel free to subscribe. Thanks.
I'd Tell You My Alzheimer's Joke, But I Forgot It
GROUP HOME HERO: Lap Dances For The Demented
I Love You (insert your name here) - Hallmark Cards and Ads Rant
Bedside Manners In The Hospital (And Every Other Job Too)
The Topic Is: Is Raising Your Kids To Believe YOUR Beliefs Brainwashing?
Freedom Chocolate?
I Think The Mirror Is Winking At Me
Help!
These two things
Running good
Happy Halloween
Halloween: Horror Movies To Rent (and you might not have heard of these)
The Topic is: Nature Vs Nurture (Discussion)
A Tin Town Love Letter

I'm so fuggin' sick (of technology that doesn't work)
*EXCLUSIVE* GRUDGE 2 - The Rest of the Scares!
How To Be A Great Leader Installment 1: Be Convincing
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Tucking My Penis Between My Legs.
Farmer V's Guide To Successfully Hiring A Myspace Hitman
DonkeyFritters Podcast/Audiocast 3!
An open letter to any Myspace lady wearing an online chastity belt.
All Rise For The Honorable Judge Richard Hardon
A new blog from that guy you didn't even know you subscribed to anymore.
CNN's Important News O' The Moment!!!
Greatest Shits
Cabbage Patch Killer
A Fairy Tale Of Sorts and Thursday Info
Educational Films For Deranged Children
Notes From The Road 2: Electric Boogaloo
Notes From The Road
The Contest and Gone Daddy Gone
Learning To French
The Myspace Sicko Survey Is Done (and I answered it)
Pooh-Nut Butter Cookies Don't Melt In My Mouth.
Pillow Talk
When all else fails, do it "Gangsta' Style".
I am alive, but...
Farmer Vincent Versus The Legion Of Doom!
Living In SIN!
"Desnudez Breve" Does Not Mean Donkey Sex.
Glitter Comments That shouldn't Have Been Sent
The New Avatar Has Been Chosen...
So Many Hot Pictures To Choose From!!!
Lenny's House Of Horrors 1: Farmer Vincent's "CRITTERS"
Farmer Vincent Is Mr. Magoo, Sports Hero
Henry Always Said That Marge Couldn't Drive To Save Her Life...(Films With Unbelievable Scenes)
Why I Never Pick-Up Hitchhikers Anymore
Group Home Hero: The Sound Of Love
I see...crazy people
Ipod Shuffle Game
In Dreams I Walk With You (with second dream)
Highway To What The Hell?
Let's All Hurt My Brother-In-Law!
Cyberbanging: This blog is for Crips only and not you damn Bloods!
Donkeysosa's Evil Twin Brother-In-Law Presents: Apple Dubya' Gang 15
George W. Bush Tells His Dick To Take A "Leak".
Tales From Tin Town: The Dawn Of A Brand New Man
Why Coca-Cola is Worse Than Big Oil
On Myspace You Might Just Love Me Even Though You all Know I Am A Hypocrite
Excerpts From The Fast Food Bible
More Corrupt Cops In California
I Found Bush In The Bushes
RanDumb (includes an AddenDumb)
Finally, An Interview With Heart
Group Home Hero: Drivin' N Cryin'
I'm A Thieving Bastard. What Of It?
How To Give Your Man A Blowjob
Donkey Fritters Broadcast Two!
Strippers With Attitude!
Tales from Tin Town: Deadbeat Bob
The First DONKEY FRITTERS Podcast/Broadcast Audio Thingy!
He DIDN'T just say that
Group Home Hero: Every Man For Himself
A Shocking Expose on Chiropractors
Goodbye Childhood Hero
Group Home Hero: "Spuck You Farmer V!"
Group Home Hero: My Crappy First Day
Scoop my wife's insides out, shame on you, zap my nuts with lasers, shame on me!
Taste All That Internet in Your Mouth!
When Sheep Start to Look PURDY
Ladies, Please Cover Those Cooters
Dick Cheney:Stone Cold Killah
Convenience Store Movie Picks
More Mayo, Less Bloodshed
Farmer V's Disturbing Moment of the Day
Magic and Witchcraft are Real
Someone stole my marijuana!
Great Barbecuing Moments with Farmer Vincent
A Thoughtful and Extensive Essay on the Topic of "Blogging Just to Blog"
Next time let's come up with a "Safe Word"
Androgeny ain't all that it is cracked up to be!
Two Thirds Of My New Friends Are HAWT!!!
Claire's dark secret EXPOSED
Mr. Liar Pants Finally Comes Clean
Kid talk, The spotter stalks me and distribution for your films
Nude Scenes That Make You Cry
Tales From Tin Town: "I'm A JOKER, I'm A Smoker, I'm A Midnight Toker..."
Tales from Tin Town: Entry One
Farmer Vincent's Top Five Ways To Look Like An Artist
The beautiful people at rest (Ummm... No Content?)

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

My Interests

My family, Movies, filmmaking, screenwriting, golf, poker, politics, philosophy, lively debate.

I'd like to meet:






Music:

Almost anything and everything.

Some likes:Peter Gabriel, The Arcade Fire, The White Stripes, The Eels, Talking Heads, Tom Waits, Bob Dylan, PJ Harvey, The Beatles, Guns and Roses, The Faint, Velvet Underground, Lou Reed, Belle and Sebastian, Oingo Boingo, The Stooges, Iggy Pop, Clint Mansell, John Coltrane, Everclear, Modest Mouse, Big Pig, Sia, The Pretenders, Neil Young, The Shins, Tenacious D, Collective Soul, The Animals, Roy Orbison, Franz Ferdinand, They Might Be Giants, Rage Against The Machine, Frank Zappa, The Strokes, The Eurythmics, The Cure, , Faith No More, The Decemberists, Leonard Cohen, The Who, Neutral Milk Hotel, Billy Joel, Beck, The Pixies, The Flaming Lips, old U2, The Smiths, The Go Gos, Blondie, Jimi Hendrix, Built To Spill, Sonic Youth, Portishead, The The, Radiohead, Concrete Blonde, Siouxie and the Banshees, David Bowie, Men Without Hats, Bright Eyes, The Killers, Tin Machine, Berlin, James McMurtry, New Order, Violent Femmes, The Wallflowers.

Movies:

Love them all especially films that fall into the categories of independant, horror, cult, classic or R rated comedy.
Some of my faves:Adaptation, Alien series, Amateur, Anchorman, Apocalypse Now, Audition, Bad Santa, Battle Royale, Being John Malcovich, Big Trouble in Little China, The Blues Brothers, Blue Velvet, The Blues Brothers, Body Double, Boogie Nights, Broadcast News, Caddyshack, Chasing Amy, Chinatown, Citizen Kane, City of Lost Children, Clerks, A Clockwork Orange, Dark Water (original Nakata version), Dead Alive, Donnie Darko, Dr. Strangelove, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Evil Dead series, Fargo, Frailty, Friday the 13th The Godfather,Halloween, High Tension, I Heart Huckabees, Ichi the Killer, Invisible Man, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Kids, Kill Bill, Lawrence of Arabia, Living Dead series,, Lost Highway, Lost in Translation,May, Memento, Miller's Crossing, Motel Hell,Nightmare on Elm Street,Old School, One False Move, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,Phenomena, The Princess Bride, Prizzi's Honor, Psycho, Pulp Fiction,Raising Arizona, Re-Animator, Rear Window, The Reflecting Skin, Requiem for a Dream, Rounders, The Royal Tenenbaums,Saw, Scarface, Secretary, The Shining, Sideways, Silence of the Lambs, Simple Men, Sin City, Suspiria, Swingers, A Tale of Two Sisters, Taxi Driver, The Eye, The Thing,What the Bleep Do We Know, Young Frankenstein

Television:

Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Lost, Strangers With Candy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Masters of Horror, The Office, Extras, Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Carnivale, Deadwood, Twin Peaks, The Daily Show, Kids in the Hall, The Night Stalker (only with the irreplaceable Darren McGavin).

Books:

Authors: Harlan Ellison, J.D. Salinger, Franz Kafka, Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, William Golding, John Steinbeck.AND

My Blog

High Road, Be Damned (Updated)

Dear God Who Art In Heaven,Please give me the strength to act like a NORMAL adult/parent tonight and help me find the strength in myself to refrain from going upstairs and kicking the fuck out of the ...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 07:35:00 PST

Wanting To Live In A Protective Bubble Is Normal, Right?

It's three o'clock in the damn morning and I am awake, alert and eating Pik-Nik brand shoestring potatoes like I live in a dorm or even more likely, a crackhouse.  I should be in bed, but since I...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 02:33:00 PST

One Year Later...

One year ago today I signed on to Myspace for the very first time thanks to my brother-in-law Donkeysosa's proddings.   I didn't really understand what the site was for at that time, but Don...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 03:02:00 PST

I'd Tell You My Alzheimer's Joke, But I Forgot It

Today Claire took me and my busted knee out to buy a new sport coat (Go White Boy, Go!!!) for a 'cocktail casual' benefit we are going to on Saturday night.   Our sport coat salesman was one...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 02:17:00 PST

GROUP HOME HERO: Lap Dances For The Demented

When I worked with the mentally ill (the MI) I'd try and assist them in living as normal a life as possible.  I thought that meant teaching them  cooking skills, socialization skills and may...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 06:24:00 PST

I Love You (insert your name here) - Hallmark Cards and Ads Rant

Last week I recieved my first Christmas card of the season.  It came in a bright red envelope with my name hand written on the front.  On the top right hand corner was a holiday return postm...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 08:58:00 PST

Bedside Manners In The Hospital (And Every Other Job Too)

Yesterday I had the pleasure of having surgery on my right knee (I'm running good baby - ughhhh).   It was just scoped which entails a nurse shooting lasers at my knee and a team of nano-sur...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Wed, 22 Nov 2006 08:42:00 PST

The Topic Is: Is Raising Your Kids To Believe YOUR Beliefs Brainwashing?

My youngest son has been asking about possibly going to church with one of his friends and that boy's family (who, by the way are cool).  Now, we do not go to church and Claire and I most likely ...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 09:41:00 PST

Freedom Chocolate?

I'm just catching up on some political blogs today (after another trip to the gym) and I see that I missed this little gem from Mike Viqueir's BLOG from Thursday:"The White House served pasta salad an...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Sun, 12 Nov 2006 12:31:00 PST

I Think The Mirror Is Winking At Me

I had an interesting (I'm using the term very loosely these days) discussion today about how different people would look if they were born the opposite sex than they were.  This conversation lead...
Posted by Farmer Vincent's fritters on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 01:31:00 PST