Commander Ed Straker profile picture

Commander Ed Straker

Immediately Means Now!

About Me

Hi! My name is Ed Straker. I produce films at the Harlington-Straker Film Studios by day and am the Commander of S.H.A.D.O. by night. In case you don't know, S.H.A.D.O. is an acronym with stands for Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization. That's all I can tell you for now. If I told you more, I would either have to ask you to join SHADO, have the creepy Dr. Doug Jackson give you an amnesia drug, or just kill you. Anyway, I am looking for a blond, long-breasted, intelligent, very attractive, athletic, goal-oriented-preferably English-woman who would like to join me and become Mrs Straker. Naturally, she will be expected to hate James Blunt with a passion and join SHADO. She will have to dedicate herself to fighting the alien menace that currently plagues this planet. So, if you think you are qualified, take the Ed Straker prospective Wife Test. If you are not interested in becoming Mrs. Ed Straker, you may want to think about joining SHADO. We are always searching for talented, goal-oriented people, who will dedicate themselves to saving the earth from the alien menace that now plagues us.This profile was edited with MySpace Profile Editor MySpace Profile Editor

My Interests

Film Production, Commanding SHADO, watching the succulent Lt. Gay Ellis change out of her skin-tight silver Moonbase uniform, calling the Lead walleted General Henderson a burk behind his back, "Operation Discovery"-studying extreme close-up photos of Lt. Gay Ellis's creamy skin

General Henderson, the lead walleted head of the International Astrophysical Commission, who desperately needs to have his diseased-riddled organs harvested by the damned aliens.

I'd like to meet:



Music:

There is no time for music when the world is currently being menaced by aliens, who, because they are dying as a race, are here to harvest organs for their diseased bodies. Look what happened to Paul Foster when he decided to listen to music: he was kidanpped by the aliens! Of course, it all turned out to be a dream but, well, you get the point! Music is for the weak-minded. And the aliens want us all to be weak-minded. That's why James Blunt is so popular with the kids right now.

Movies:

Communion, UFOs are Real, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Fire in the Sky, The Mothman Prophecies

Television:

The X-Files, the Invaders

Books:

Communion, Transformation, the Mothman Prophecies, The Coming of the Saucers, Incident at Exeter, Intruders, Missing Time, Light Years, The Report on Unidentified Flying Objects, Anatomy of a Phenomenom, Messengers of Deception, UFOs in Space, Revelations, Confrontations, Project Moondust, Watchers, Dimensions, They Dared the Devil's Trianegle, Limbo of the Lost, Pyschic in the Devil's Triangle, Ghosts of the Air, The Roswell UFO Crash, The Truth Behind Men in Black, Conspiracy of Silence, God Drives a Flying Saucer, We are Not Alone, Open Skies Closed Minds, The UFO Casebook, Scientific Study of Unidentified Flying Objects, The Bermuda Triangle Mystery-Solved, Sasquatch, Flying Saucer Occupants, the Truth about Flying Saucers, the Hynek UFO Report, Gods from Outer Space, the Bible and Flying Saucers, Into the Fringe, Chariots of the Gods? On the Track of Bigfoot, The Gulf Breeze Sightings, Not of This World, Vanished, the Interrupted Journey, the Philadelphia Experiment, Alien Agenda, Out There, the Roswell Incident, the Day After Roswell, Alien Abductions, Area 51-the Dreamland Chronicles, Bigfoot on the East Coast, the Andreasson Affair, Alien Update, Alien Base, Spaceships of the Pleides, The Bermuda Triangle, the Rainbow Conspiracy, Above Top Secret, Night Siege, the UFO Silencers

Heroes:

The always creepy Dr. Douglas Jackson, who, if you decide NOT to join SHADO, will unceremoniously inject you with a potent amnesia drug that will instantly erase all memories of me, SHADO, and Lt. Gay Ellis changing out of her skin-tight silver Moonbase uniform.

SID, the effeminate-voiced satellite that helps protect the earth from UFOs and, when we ungrade him, the obviously alien-influended shrill music of James Blunt.

Colonel Paul Foster, an indispensable SHADO officer, who is very popular with the ladies. He is currently on vacation at a London health spa called Climax 1. Here's hoping he doesn't fall asleep and dream that he is kidnapped by the aliens again.

Colonel Alec Freeman, the second in command at SHADO, who is almost as much of a skirt-chaser as Dr. Jackson. It goes without saying that Alec is the Jeff Chandler of SHADO.

My Blog

Report Your Sexual Encounters with Aliens to SHADO

If you are at all familiar with UFO encounters of the sexual kind, you will already know the highly erotic story of Antonio Villas Boas, who, in 1957, was abducted by a UFO and forced to have sex with...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Sun, 05 Feb 2006 11:27:00 PST

The Prospective SHADO Employee Test

1. If your Id was any character in any movie, who would it be? 2. What was the first archetype you remember from your childhood? 3. If you could kill anyone, who would it be? 4. Buddha achived illu...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Fri, 30 Dec 2005 04:58:00 PST

An Alien Menage a trois with Stevie Nicks

 It has recently come to my attention that the aliens are attempting to breed with the women of Myspace. But it appears that the swingers, goths, and drunken sorority girls are not very...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Sat, 24 Dec 2005 07:40:00 PST

Colonel Virginia Lake the MILF

   Colonel Virginia Lake is one of the most important operatives at SHADO. She is also a damned hot MILF. Naturally, as her employer, I am excluded from persueing any kind of sexual relation...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Tue, 20 Dec 2005 05:21:00 PST

The Aliens are Deleting Myspace Profiles!

I was deeply saddened today when I learned that a recent SHADO recruit named Kaykay was kidnapped by the aliens. Immediately afterwards, the aliens deleted her Myspace profile and it was like Kaykay n...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Tue, 20 Dec 2005 05:11:00 PST

Dammit, Miss Ealand!

This week, my long-suffering secretary, Miss Ealand, is on vacation. As a result, I am forced to send all of my own letters and emails. I am the Commander of SHADO and the half-owner the Harlington-St...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Sat, 17 Dec 2005 01:57:00 PST

The Commander Ed Straker Prospective Wife Test

The Commander Ed Straker Prospective Wife Test Being both a successful film producer and the Commander of SHADO, I have very little time for conventional dating. With that in mind, I have decided to...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Sat, 17 Dec 2005 09:17:00 PST

Aliens on Myspace

It has recenly come to my attention that there are currently 2300 card-carrying aliens on Myspace. As the Commander of SHADO, I plead with you: DO NOT ADD THEM TO YOUR LIST OF FRIENDS! If you do, it w...
Posted by Commander Ed Straker on Thu, 15 Dec 2005 03:03:00 PST